tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13690938899596906482024-02-07T13:28:11.246-06:00Naming the CloudsI think I have learned more in the past couple years about being me than I have ever previously.
One of the things I've learned, is I have much to learn.Miriamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09496039555905209214noreply@blogger.comBlogger544125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1369093889959690648.post-86163435153325778222015-09-16T20:16:00.000-05:002015-09-16T20:16:00.085-05:00Beth Moore: Fire in your bonesSaturday I attended a Beth Moore event. I've only seen parts of two videos of her speaking before, but am well aware that her Bible studies are well regarded. There are two things I appreciate about Beth Moore.<br />
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First, she is excellent at bringing the historical perspective to life. This is important because the meanings behind the words helps to understand what they really meant. I loved all the vocabulary definitions.<br />
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Second, she is entertaining. Being a good story teller is an important aspect to any engaging public speaker.<br />
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I took home two truths from this all day event. These are the things that I've been carrying around with me - thinking about constantly. Obviously I learned a few more things. But for those things, I'd honestly have to go check my notes. These two things were burned into my bones.<br />
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(And seriously - what is it with the number 2 today? I seriously am not planning this!)<br />
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The first thing I took home is that we need to cleave to the Bible.<br />
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<h3 class="def-header">
Definition of <i>CLEAVE</i></h3>
<h3 class="def-header">
<i><span class="ssens"><b>:</b> to adhere firmly and closely or loyally and unwaveringly </span></i></h3>
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In today's time, there is a lot of questioning of the Bible. And I have noticed (and Mrs. Moore noted) that in an effort to "win people over", we pick and choose which parts of the Bible we like and/or want. It is almost as if we are ashamed of God Himself.<br />
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Here's the thing. The Bible is the Bible. It is given to us to guide us and keep us on track. I think we can look around in today's society and understand that we really do need this unchanging, unwavering guidance. And we need the WHOLE Bible. Not just the first half. And not just the second half. Because together it brings context and understanding.<br />
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I've heard all the arguments before. "It probably has lost its translation over the millennia...so it isn't really right anyway." "Things have been added or dropped or there are things missing." There are so many!<br />
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I read an article the other day (<a href="http://www.oneforisrael.org/blog/385-sixth-century-secret-revealed" target="_blank">here</a>) about a discovery of a new page of the old testament. It was a burnt piece found 45 yrs ago, but is one of the oldest found copies of the writing. There weren't sure what it said, until technology today allowed them to read it. Know what they found? Levitcus. As we have it today.<br />
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God is Sovereign. This really hit home with me in a Bible study a few years ago when the speaker mentioned that the reason other kingdoms faded away was because something happened they didn't know about. But God knows <i>everything</i>. Think of all the times YOU were surprised! God wasn't! Ever! Since He knows everything - not only will His kingdom not fade away but He is able to take care of business. Yeah - we all have free choice. But He knows who is gonna say YES! :)<br />
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At work I have a BUNCH of people on my team. There are certain assignments I know I can give to certain people and they will get them down without any prodding. There are some assignments I know that none of my team is willing to do. Those I typically just do myself. Even though I'm leading this team - it is full of personalities that are rather strong willed. (Meaning - I'm not going to get them to do anything they don't want to do.) God operates in similar fashion...except better. He knows His people far better than I know my team.<br /><br />So in this sketchy time - instead of questioning the one thing God has given us to help answer questions...we need to CLEAVE to that sucker. There is right. There is wrong. There is truth, forgiveness, calls for repentance, and love. They do not cancel each other out, but they all exist at the same time.<br />
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This means...that I'm not going to be able to say "It's ok that you are sinning." I <i>can</i> say "God loves you anyway." And eventually (as with any sin), a time will come when God will ask you to choose Him over the sin. It happens to all of us.<br />
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The other thing I took away from Beth Moore wasn't really even part of her message. It was in the background of her message. I realized I had fallen asleep. I was walking through life looking around me instead of looking up. I need to wake up. I feel a deep stirring within me and God has already been talking my ear off. Aside from reinforcing the message above, He has also reminded me that He made me the way I am specifically. He reminded me that while these characteristics may seem like a bad thing, He needs them. He reminded me that frequently He chooses work for us that isn't obviously a good fit. But being Sovereign, He has His reasons. (Why did He pick Gideon? Or Jeremiah? Or David? Why does He pick ANYONE?) Those reasons aren't for me to question, just to trust.<br />
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What is it He has for me? I'm not sure entirely. The message is still coming. For now I have two (there is that number again!) tasks. The first is to start writing. So here I am - writing. The second task I haven't started just yet but it is on my mind, heart and most importantly my list of things to get done. :) It simply is to give more.<br />
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So here I go. I anticipate it being an interesting year.Miriamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09496039555905209214noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1369093889959690648.post-57605218432584183952015-04-18T23:06:00.001-05:002015-04-18T23:06:43.580-05:00The blessing of a memoryYesterday William and I celebrated our 16th anniversary with a date day. We actually did this for the first time 5 or so years ago...and loved it so much that we have been doing it ever since. We don't usually plan too heavily on the day - but we do kick around ideas. We always start with breakfast. Any time we can eat out in public without complete humiliation and embarrassment (i.e. kids), we absolutely do. <br />
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Because the "Bigs" (the older two kids) were out of school, we went ahead and paid to send them to the daycare. They only go a couple times a year and don't mind going too much. If nothing else - they love seeing the "Littles" there and brightening their day. But it freed us up to take one of the few working parent perks out there: 8 hr date day with little extra cost!<br />
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It was actually nice having all the kids in one spot. Makes drop off that much quicker.<br />
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We decided to go to Jimmy's Egg for breakfast. It turns on Fri around 8:00 in the morning is prime time elderly folks time. The place was full of old people. <br />
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We sat down and quickly discussed what to order. (We tend to order two things and split them at Jimmy's...) A waitress came by to ask our drinks, and I noticed two people getting up to leave just behind her. A "younger" man (60s) - was helping an elderly woman (90s) get up to leave. First he pulled the table away from her a bit then steadied her as she stood. While she held onto to the table he wrapped a shaw around her shoulders and hair. Then he placed her purse over her head and helped her arm through the strap. I was struck by the devotion and love that came from this man as he hepled her. My guess was the man was her son and he was taking her out so she could be out and about a little. <br />
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I sat there and though about my future and wondered how I'd end up - if my kids would be around to take me to breakfast now and then.<br />
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We ordered our breakfast and William and I soon turned the conversation to our daily plans. The table next to us sat 3 more elderly people. At one point, the wife of one of them two gentleman started getting on to him. Apparently they were missing silverware and she asked "DID YOU JUST TAKE HIS [referring to William] SILVERWARE?" William started laughing and said "The nerve!" and then pointed out the basket full of silverware behind his head. They all laughed a bit - particularly at the fact she would apparently think her husband would do such a thing.<br />
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Back to discussing daily plans, I pulled out my phone and pulled up TripAdvisor to see if there was anything new around town to do. As I started looking the accused silverware thief from the other table said "Hey! Hey! Do you know what WPA stands for?" <br />
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Deep in thought trying to get TripAdvisor open, I shook him off. "No sir I don't."<br />
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He waved his hand after me and said "Can't you use THAT THING???"<br />
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"OH!" I replied. "Yeah. I guess I can do that!" And William made a joke about having a computer right there in my hand - seems I could give the information to the man. I opened up Google and typed up "WPA". "Wireless Protected Access" I said. I looked over and the 3 of them starred at me. "Wire-what?" The accused silverware thief replied, his head crinkled in confusion.<br />
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I suddenly realized my audience and repeatedly slowly what I had said...all the while wondering why they cared about such a thing.<br />
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They all shook their heads..."No..." he replied. "This would be from the 1930's..."<br />
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"OH!" I said again. William is completely laughing at this point. "Let me look again." I used my Google prowess to determine they were referring to "Works Progress Administration" - a government organization whose purpose was to put <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Works_Progress_Administration" target="_blank">people back to work during the Great Depression</a>.<br />
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They all nodded in approval and went back to their conversation.<br />
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A few minutes later the silverware theif hopped up from his chair and stood next to our table. "That organization was important. I was born in 1931. My parents had no money and no food. The WPA put people back to work and handed out these rations that were just God-awful. But we ate them anyway."<br />
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As he talked a lot of thoughts were swimming around in my head. I thought about people today and their version of destitution. I'm pretty sure contemporary Americans' version of poor and 1930s version of poor are pretty different. I wondered if terrible rations were handed out these days - if people would be grateful.<br />
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Silverware thief sat back down, still talking. He mentioned he and his wife had been together for 65 years. 65 folks! They had been married <i>almost</i> longer than my father had been alive. William told them today was our 16th - and we both acknowledged it was no where near 65. <br />
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There was more banter and it was pleasant. I was reminded of my Great Aunt Dot and Uncle Jack. They reminded me so much of them - except a bit reverse. My Aunt Dot couldn't hear worth a hoot - but it seemed it was the husband in this dynamic duo who had trouble hearing. They gave the waitresses a hard time, and in fact one of them sat down at one point at the table to read an article in a paper that he wanted to show her. It was clear they were regulars...and Jimmy's Egg was for this couple about like Bob Evans was for my Aunt and Uncle. (They went EVERY DAY.) <br />
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Memories swirled around in my head. The last time we visited, we had Rebekah. I was able to sit with my Aunt Dot. She could never hear me (she was tone deaf - and I spoke entirely too high), so I had been nervous about visiting with them without my parents. It was one of the best visits I had ever had. She went on and one about life when she was young. She told me about some of her and my grandmother's adventures, how she met Jack. I loved every minute of it.<br />
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As we said our goodbye's Aunt Dot quietly pressed money into my hands and hugged me. I tried to protest, but there was no arguing with her. "Gas money!" she said. I had been looking forward to the next time we'd come out and arranging a visit again. But it wasn't meant to be. It was the very last time I saw my beloved Aunt Dot. I hang onto the memory of that visit because really it is all I have of her left.<br />
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I told William I wanted to pay for Silverware Theif's breakfast - but they paid for themselves before we could tell a waitress. I pleaded with William, that they were clearly regulars. We could probably leave some money with one of the waitresses for them the next time they came in.<br />
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As they got up to leave he stopped by. "Have a good day!" we told him. "You too! Happy anniversary. Oh and - we paid for your meal."<br />
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I could just see my Aunt Dot and Uncle Jack standing before me. I'm not a crier people. I'm really not. I don't cry at movies, I didn't even really cry when my children were born. I didn't cry on my wedding day. I just don't cry.<br />
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Tears slipped down my cheek as they walked off.<br />
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When William and I are old and figure out our version of Bob Evans, I hope we can be a blessing as these folks clearly were to those around them. This encounter truly set the tone for the day - as we ran into many blessings throughout and talked about this all day long.Miriamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09496039555905209214noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1369093889959690648.post-23216690461476966882015-01-06T20:57:00.000-06:002015-01-06T20:57:00.525-06:00New Year's 2015I'm laughing because one of my resolutions this year is to get back to blogging. Today I logged into my blog for the first time in a very long time. What did I find? 3 unpublished posts about getting my life back. <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPoSYDLjagDab02tkjNpxCKgvfzQtWK_gzs3nMfeXbnEpbOhBD72Ksi_530fBM2wq8JkzNbuiduIuqaQQioxeOUOyyEksGvlNaFlSmKYrL120jZHYWXOrfI48hQMlS3Ys1BoSoI6MaMt8/s1600/2015-01-05+10.54.06.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPoSYDLjagDab02tkjNpxCKgvfzQtWK_gzs3nMfeXbnEpbOhBD72Ksi_530fBM2wq8JkzNbuiduIuqaQQioxeOUOyyEksGvlNaFlSmKYrL120jZHYWXOrfI48hQMlS3Ys1BoSoI6MaMt8/s1600/2015-01-05+10.54.06.jpg" height="320" width="240" /></a>Since Paul has been born, I simply haven't been able to get back to normal. It is time and clearly it has weighed on my mind at least 3 times over the last year. I have a list of things I really want to reincorporate into my life. They are:<br />
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* Spending time with God in the mornings<br />
* Writing<br />
* Reading<br />
* Exercising<br />
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These are not really in order.<br />
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I'm hoping this year will be the theme of me returning to normal - or finding a new normal. <br />
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Today - I will count as successful since I did at least one thing for myself. <br />
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Blog: Check <br />
<br />Miriamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09496039555905209214noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1369093889959690648.post-41584768214563698292014-01-01T16:31:00.000-06:002014-01-01T16:31:22.122-06:00Mary and Martha: A lesson for the busyI actually started this post back in August. But I never got around to finishing it...so I scrapped it and started over. And then I scrapped it again and started over again. And here it is New Year's and hopefully I can get it finished!<br />
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I've missed my blog. I enjoy writing. I've always thought I'd write a book someday, but in the meantime this little blog fills that void. I'd love to get back to it. But God has had other things in mind for my time lately. He has been busy teaching me about Mary and Martha.<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!” </blockquote>
<blockquote>
“Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”<br />
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~ <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Luke%2010&version=NIV" target="_blank">Luke 10:38-42 (NIV)</a> </blockquote>
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For a long time I never understood Jesus' perspective here. After all, it wasn't that Martha was doing things she shouldn't. The house does need cleaned. Preparations do need to be made for the meal. There are many things that need done to keep the household moving. And in those days? I shudder to think of what laundry was like. Or meal prep. The invention of washer, dryers and refrigerators has done so much for the modern woman. Yet <i>we are still so very busy</i>.<br />
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The lesson began at the beginning of last summer. I had childcare lined up for my return to work, but it fell through. So I had to find new arrangements quickly. There were lots of unknowns (we had no idea what elementary school Peter was going to attend...for example) so making long term decisions became pretty hard. Normally I rely on God for such decisions - but I also have an idea of what His plans are. He remained mum on what His intent was for our family on many things. I had to live day by day.<br />
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Childcare arrangements for the summer were lined up pretty quick. This was a God thing. A friend needed a job and it so happened to work out. BUT...these arrangements were to last just until school started.<br />
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I normally spend a lot of time researching, visiting and such in order to find God's best. I rely on Him to show me the way, but I have always felt that we do have a duty to see what that is. But this summer - God told me to sit down and relax. <br />
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I'm not good at relaxing.<br />
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Or sitting for that matter.<br />
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School started and He cleared the way for many things. We settled on sending Paul to the daycare we use, as it was opening up a brand new baby room. There was a gap between when the summer care was going to end and when the infant room was going to open. I was able to work from home (WFH) while waiting for the daycare infant room to open up. I was SO BLESSED by this. I got to kick butt and take names at work while spending more time with my baby - more time than I had ever gotten to spend with any of the other kids. In fact, since my return to work I have had the distinct feeling of having baby Paul with me nearly ALL the time. Not the "I NEED A BREAK!" feeling. The "I'm getting to enjoy my baby more than ever!" feeling. <br />
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The infant room opened up and the birthday season passed - and for the first time ever I was cool as a cucumber. Sept/Oct tends to be crazy busy. The in laws tend to visit extra, birthday parties to plan and school activities all pile up - I promise myself every year I'm going to enjoy my kids' birthdays and every year I finish the season feeling stressed and wondering where the time went.<br />
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But this year - none of that happened.<br />
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So I have in fact been super busy. I've had many things to do and unending lists. But I found that time and time again, when I leaned on the Lord - everything got done. <br />
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<blockquote class="tr_bq">
Trust in the Lord with all your heart<br />
and lean not on your own understanding;<br />
in all your ways submit to him,<br />
and he will make your paths straight. </blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
~ <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=proverbs%203:5-6&version=NIV" target="_blank">Proverbs 3:5-6</a></blockquote>
One afternoon I had a fussy baby on my hands, piles of laundry and other things that need to be done. I was just plain tired and wishing for a nap. So I took one - me and the baby of course. I can't tell you how, but by that evening I was refreshed and looking around and found that everything had been done that needed to be done. Every last thing. It was amazing.<br />
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This is how God operates. He's here in the midst of busy life and if we focus on Him, He makes the way available that everything that needs done is done. <br />
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When we stress ourselves and we are overwhelmed, the simple fact is we have taken on work that does not belong to us. God is sovereign. And that is a big word that a lot of people <i>understand</i> without really taking in the fully meaning. Since God is sovereign - He knows your day to day life. He knows what must be done and really what doesn't. He knows your life better than you do. And if you give these things to Him and let Him guide you <i>even in the mundane day to day life</i> - He will not steer you wrong. And what this ends up looking like is you starting out a Sunday afternoon yearning for a nap with a to-do list a mile long and ending the day feeling refreshed and ready for the week to start. All that is required of us is to <i>let go</i>.<br />
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And yes - He can hear those million reasons of why you can't. Everyone has them. I had them myself.<br />
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In the case of childcare search - if I didn't research how was I supposed to find His answer for me? Turns out since I didn't have time, God sent the answers knocking on my door. We all know faith is an action - and the action was simply opening up the door. "Oh hi! You want to watch my kid? SURE!" The action wasn't spending endless hours researching, touring and interviewing until *I* found the mystical answer. <br />
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In the case of countless TO DO lists - it meant I cut that list in half. For Rebekah's sleepover party, I bought a couple activities and a cake and called it done. The girls had SO MUCH FUN. I didn't have endless activities like last year. The party wasn't picture perfect - but life doesn't have to be to enjoy it. The girls hung out and entertained themselves. It was magical. The activities I did plan, Rebekah told me she wanted. So really - she planned her own party. I just picked up a few things. That is what it looks like to take a step back and let things go.<br />
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And now - this is a biggie - Christmas season just passed. As if that weren't enough, I had knee surgery and am working on healing from that. So it means I trust my husband to take care of some things that I actually like to take care of - and be nothing but GRATEFUL because that is what you are to another human being when they help you. Our Christmas went off without a hitch. My oven even died, but because the Lord has been teaching me these things I just shrugged my shoulders. It actually died at the perfect time (in between breakfast casserole and turkey cooking) and because of the way my day had worked out from the day before, I was in the kitchen to notice. My stove dying on the worst day of the year couldn't have worked out more perfectly. God was in that. <br />
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So in summation, Jesus is simply asking us to understand that yeah...stuff needs to be done. But don't put the busywork above relationships. Take it day by day. Each day is going to have a priority. Today, it might be to vacuum. The next day - it may be a much needed nap. And in the end, if you prioritize sitting at His feet soaking in His glory each and every day, everything else works out. God doesn't leave us hanging. And He is big enough to not only handle the BIG HUGE world problems - but He is able to ease the burdens of the stressed out. Miriamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09496039555905209214noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1369093889959690648.post-70840370582346345342013-06-27T20:01:00.000-05:002013-06-27T20:01:01.011-05:00Peter at 5I don't think I've done a post on Peter in awhile. I figured I ought to hit all the kids. There is so much to remember and so little brain power to do so.<br />
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Peter seems so grown up to me. In the last year he has gone from a tiny tike to a little boy in no time flat. I'm going to blink and he will be a young man...so I've been trying hard to not blink.<br />
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One of his favorite things to do is to smile at me. He somehow got the idea that I love to see his smiles. I <i>do</i>. But I never told him that. (I think someone must have told him at school.) He has dirty blond hair and freckles across his nose. Combined with his big blue eyes I do try to remember so clearly these days. Because someday in the not too distant future I will be looking up at <i>him</i> to smile. <br />
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Peter has discovered playing video games. His current favorite is Sklyander's. Talk about a money marketing SCAM! You buy the game ($60!) and then you shell out $10-15 for each character. It is a roll playing type. Yipes! Makes it easy to shop for him, but really...how many little figurines does a fella need? He's got a drawer full. His second favorite is Star Wars. Yes, a boy after my own heart.<br />
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His favorite color is black. He loves skulls and mohawks. Perhaps he'll belong to the skater crowd when he grows up. Who knows!<br />
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He doesn't particularly like cleaning and it is like pulling teeth to get him to help. I've noticed he doesn't see details as easily as Rebekah does. What I mean is...it is very easy for Rebekah to figure out to put the doll toys with the doll house, the legos in the lego box and the Mr. Potato Head parts in the right container. Peter seems to see 'toys' and throws them in containers. Period. He reminds me of William in this way. <br />
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We've just passed through a rough spot where Peter was getting in trouble daily at school. We had trouble with him exposing himself and playing "I'll show you mine if you show me yours" games. Developmentally speaking, this is normal. The only difference is that we had ONE problem with Rebekah. We had two solid weeks of problems with Peter. To top it off - we had several stealing incidents and he started 'racooning' again.<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
Racooning: The behavior of getting up at night and taking things. Typically things taken are put under or near his bed. Alternatively, getting into mischief at night.</blockquote>
Here are three stories (which I'm sure I'll laugh at someday) that demonstrate.<br />
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<i><b>Story #1</b></i><br />
At night William frequently will run to the store. This particular night he had stopped on his way home from the casino and got some ice cream. The next morning I woke up and noticed the gate open. I knew someone had been up during the night, but I wasn't sure who. I went downstairs to wake up the older two kids. As I was gently shaking them from their slumber, Max came running downstairs and straight under the bed. He started licking something. I peered down to see what it was and immediately noticed an <i>ice cream container</i>. It was the brand new ice cream William had picked up the night before. Completely ruined of course. Peter had gotten up, apparently looked in the freezer and found the ice cream and brought it back to bed...hiding it under there. That same day I also found my stain remover and fabric softener under the bed. I asked him why he took those things and he just told me he was keeping them safe.<br />
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<b><i>Story #2</i></b><br />
About a week or so after the first story, I went to pick up Peter and was told he had brought a 'tool' to school. They handed me the tool and it became immediately clear why the confiscated it. The tool was super sharp - I later learned it was used for drilling holes in sheet rock. I poked its pointy end and asked Peter where it came from. He looked downcast, as he always does when he his about to get in trouble, and replied 'the basement'. I took the tool home and gave it to William, who confirmed it indeed had been in the basement. He had used it to drill holes in the sheet rock when we had a water leak awhile back. It was on top of a shelf over the washer/dryer unites.<br />
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Later that same day the kids came running in. "There is a hole in the fence!" Let me preface this by saying we have had a lot of trouble with boards falling off. It is an old fence that really needs to be replaced. So we asked if a board had fallen off. The kids replied "No...it is an actual hole." This puzzled William and I. "Is it like where a knot was in a board? A round circle that has fallen out?" I asked. We have a few of those too.<br />
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"NO!" they replied.<br />
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"Well how did the hole get there?" The kids shrugged their shoulder and told us they weren't really sure...but they <i>were</i> worried about Max (our escape artist dog) getting out. So clearly the hole was large enough for him.<br />
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William made his way into the back yard to check out the fence. Very soon he came back in.<br />
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"Well there is indeed a hole in the fence. And strangely, I found this chunk of fence on the ground. It has a straight edge that perfectly matches the rest of the fence. And <i>so weird</i>...I found <i>this saw</i> laying on the ground next to it. I was pretty sure I left it on the shelf above the washer/dryer..."<br />
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The fence was fixed that day. Rebekah supplied the idea and Peter supplied the tools. They were trying to escape.<br />
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<i><b>Story #3</b></i><br />
On a Sunday morning I looked down and notice Peter's shorts weighed down. There was clearly something in his pocket. I point to the pocket and say "Hey Peter, what's in your pocket?" The smile immediately disappears from his face and he fumbles around with his <i>other</i> pocket. He pulls out a toy car, which I had already known he had brought.<br />
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"No...not that pocket." I said, trying to give him a chance to tell me the truth. "The <i>other</i> pocket."<br />
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"Nothing is in that pocket."<br />
<br />
I sighed and knew it must be bad. Peter is not one to tell me the truth and it has really driven me batty. (I'm a high truth person.) "Peter, there is something in that pocket. Take it out right now." He slipped his hand in his pocket and pulled out a set of keys.<br />
<br />
I went bananas. I only imagined he had take the keys from somewhere and I had no idea where. Someone was missing their keys! "Peter! Where did those keys come from?" He stood there silent and unmoving - frozen with the keys dangling in the air. I had to ask him 3 more times before he finally gave me an answer.<br />
<br />
"At home."<br />
<br />
They <i>could</i> have been from home, but I wasn't entirely sure. I got down face level with him to make sure he understood. Lying had been happening regularly so I really couldn't trust anything he was telling me. But he continued to repeat he got them from home. I couldn't really do anything <i>but</i> take them home. I later showed William and he thought perhaps they were the "lost" keys. You know - all those useless keys you aren't sure why you are keeping? All bundled together? <br />
<br />
The very next day William ended up picking the kids up from school. So he had the joy of being greeted by the teacher with her warm smile and poised disposition - the one that always told me <i>Peter was at it again</i>. This time William got to learn that Peter had <i>again</i> taken the bundle of keys...plus a few more. <i>Our motorcycle keys</i>. He took the keys to school and passed them out to his friends.<br />
<br />
We did get all the important keys returned to us and most (if not all) the unimportant ones. When I asked Peter why he took them he just shrugged his shoulders. <br />
------------------<br />
<br />
Oh the stories. I'm sure there will be many more. Peter is creative in his own right. He isn't really all that interested in art, but he definitely has an interest in taking things apart and how things work. In fact, he has been waiting patiently for me to get all the pictures off my old phone so he can take <i>that</i> apart. His patience has been amazing.<br />
<br />
He struggles with self-control and impulsive behavior. I'm confident he'll get that figured out one day. Until then, we will just keep working with him.<br />
<br />
He's funny, charming and confident in himself. In fact, William told him the other day he was cute. Peter was indignant and replied "No I'm not! I'm awesome and cool!" I love the confidence. I want all my kids to <i>know</i> that they are absolutely awesome and cool!<br />
<br />
He's also super caring. He loves his baby siblings (he 'smothers' Paul the same way he 'smothered' Ruth!) and dotes on them. He loves to kiss and hug Paul. Ruth has been pushed to the back burner a bit (which we are working with Peter to understand that isn't nice), but I've had less trouble recently getting him to help Ruthie. He's not nurturing like Rebekah. But he is protective. Fiercely so. Don't mess with his siblings - that is for sure. And I love that about him.<br />
<br />
I also appreciate that if we hadn't had Ruth or Paul we would have never known exactly how loving this little boy could be. I remember worrying, when I was pregnant with Ruth, whether he would accept her easily. I wondered if there would be jealousy issues. There absolutely hasn't. He's happy to share his space with those he loves. And I would have never known if God hadn't chosen to bless us with 2 more special lives.<br />
<br />
This fall is a huge milestone. Peter starts the B.I.G. K. Eeek. I'm not sure when that happened - but it is. He's looking forward to starting kindergarten but I'm not sure he really understand what it all means. I think he mostly is just excited for a new adventure. Miriamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09496039555905209214noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1369093889959690648.post-71585685162524136992013-06-25T21:14:00.000-05:002013-06-25T21:14:00.612-05:00When your kids quote scripture...A few weeks ago someone posted a link on Facebook regarding a blog entry that related to teaching children to be kind to one another. My kids get along mostly. But I've noticed increasingly that they are speaking to each other in disrespectful and unkind ways. When I read the post, which was based on a verse, it really hit home. So I ran with it.<br />
<br />
First, we went over the verse:<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. ~<a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Proverbs+12:18&version=NIV" target="_blank">Proverbs 12:18</a></blockquote>
We went over some examples and I actually read the blog entry to them. (I wish I still had the link...but alas I do not!) And Peter has really grabbed hold of this. In fact, when he feels his sister isn't speaking kindly to him he will exclaim "REBEKAH IS USING SWORD WORDS!!!" It kind of cracks me up. And I really <i>really</i> love it.<br />
<br />
This past weekend I was working on getting everyone fed. William was mowing. Ruth spilled her drink. I was making someone a sandwich - I can't remember who's. Rebekah told me Ruth spilled the milk and that Ruth used Rebekah's napkin to clean it up. She came into the kitchen, grabbed a new napkin and went back. When I turned to give the sandwich to the owner, I see milk all over the table.<br />
<br />
I lost it. I didn't yell...but I did speak harshly.<br />
<br />
"REBEKAH! Why didn't you mention that there was <i>still</i> a mess on the table? Why didn't you tell me it needed cleaned up? Look! It is getting spread everywhere!"<br />
<br />
I cleaned up the milk and as I was doing so Peter says "Mom, those were sword words."<br />
<br />
I replied "Yes. That verse doesn't mean you won't ever get in trouble! Rebekah could have let me know that this needed cleaning before the mess got worse. Or better yet, she could have cleaned it up herself!"<br />
<br />
I sat down to the table with my own food and pondered Peter's observation. <i>Those </i>were<i> sword words. What am I teaching them?</i> I thought about how I could have spoken more gently. How the entire reason for "not yelling" was to open up lines of communication. Speaking harshly - even though my voice wasn't raised - is really just as bad. I glanced over at Rebekah and saw her eyes downcast as she picked at her food.<br />
<br />
And more than anything - the Bible applies to us all.<br />
<br />
I sighed and said..."Peter you are right. I shouldn't have spoken so harshely. Perhaps I should have just punished her or something to help her remember to tell me next time."<br />
<br />
What the what? YES! I am an imperfect parent. I never pretend to be otherwise. I'm striving to be the best mom I know ho<i>w. </i>Understanding when to let things go and when NOT too is something I frequently struggle with. <br /><br />Rebekah's eyes grew wide and then she quickly looked back at her food.<br />
<br />
I sighed again. I knew I had gotten it wrong. Again. "Peter. You are right. Those <i>were</i> sword words. I need to try to use healing words next time. Rebekah, I'm sorry I didn't speak more kindly. Peter, thanks for bringing it up." Peter beamed and Rebekah smiled. <br />
<br />
<br />
So I received a very important lesson from a 5 yo. Healing is healing. Sword words are sword words. He still has a few things to learn too. For example, shouting "YOU DIDN'T SAY PLEASE! THOSE ARE SWORDS WORDS! YOU NEED TO USE HEALING WORDS! MOOOOOOOMMMM! REBEKAH IS USING SWORDS WORDS ON ME!!!!" at his sister is probably not appropriate. But one step at a time for us all.Miriamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09496039555905209214noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1369093889959690648.post-35656214670876927322013-06-22T21:58:00.000-05:002013-06-22T21:58:00.676-05:00The great chitter chatterI don't write much about Rebekah because...well...there isn't all that much to say. But yesterday I had the opportunity to spend the morning with her (and Paul). I wanted to make sure to share these because they truly display Rebekah's personality.<br />
<br />
One of the things we tend to do is go to Panera for breakfast together. She loves it. I love it. We've been doing it since she was a baby. Interestingly - I don't have this tradition with any of the other kids. (But...outside of birthdays I'm not sure I have spent as much one-on-one time with them...like I did with Rebekah.)<br />
<br />
Anyway she ordered a pumpkin <i>muffin</i> (vs. a muffie) and a blueberry bagel with cream cheese. I got a sandwhich...and ordered a Strawberries and Cream scone for later in the day. As I was looking over the menu to get my order straight, she chatted with the guy behind the counter who very politely listened to her.<br />
<br />
"I'm going to the doctor this morning. His name is Dr. C. He is in a new office and this will be the first time I get to go to this office. We are having breakfast for dinner sometime this week. It will be yummy when we do. I don't know when we will be having it, but it will be 'anything can happen' that day."<br />
<br />
Now let me clarify...we very occasionally have <i>breakfast for dinner</i>. I have a tendency to think breakfast should be at breakfast. There is an episode of Big Bang Theory where Sheldon Cooper tries to let loose...and <u>schedules</u> one day a week where he will allow anything to happen. (Of course...he wants to plan out what will happen! :-) ) Right after we watched that episode (awhile ago), William was trying to convince me to have breakfast for dinner. I identify heavily with Mr. Cooper. And so he blurted out "Have your own anything-can-happen-day!" And so we joke that it is "anything-can-happen-Wednesday"! We are having breakfast for dinner!<br />
<br />
So the fact she picked up on that really cracked me up. I also couldn't help but laugh at the guy - who clearly was trying to listen so politely...but wasn't really sure what to say to her besides "Oh really???"<br />
<br />
This highlights one of Rebekah's key features. She is NOT afraid to talk off a complete stranger's ear. I listen to her and grimace half the time because it frequently means that *I* have to talk to strangers. I barely like talking to people I know...let alone people I *don't* know. And William is social enough - but not nearly as talkative/outgoing as Rebekah is. I'm thankful she is though, because her chattiness has opened up so many good doors for us over the years. But I do occasionally wish I wouldn't get drug into it all.<br />
<br />
Next when we went to the dr office we had a little trouble finding it. It is new so it wasn't well labeled. (Our ped who we have had since Rebekah was born moved his practice.) There was a guy in the hallway and Rebekah tells him ALL about how we are going to the doctor. We finally found it (the gentleman actually pointed us in the right direction - thanks to Rebekah telling him we were lost). Rebekah was again talking the receptionists ear off.<br />
<br />
All of these people thought she was adorable. And I'm so glad. We do run into people who are annoyed by it. (Frankly...if it were me pre-kids I probably would have been! :-P ) And I can't help but frown on those people. Really. (I think I would have deserved that too pre-kid!)<br />
<br />
The receptionist answered questions of Rebekah's and asked questions of me to work through some of the 'new patient' stuff. She then tells me that she will need an I.D. My heart sank.<br />
<br />
Approximately 3 months ago I lost it. Ruth was getting into my purse (she has learned the power of stools...there were very few places I could put it where it was safe!) and kept stringing things out. One time she completely emptied not only my purse, but my wallet too. Contents were EVERYWHERE. And I hadn't been able to find my driver's license since. I had looked all over the house, all over my purse and wallet...it was no where. I searched <i>multiple</i> times. It was simply gone. I thought I'd go get a new one before I went back to work, but I didn't make it. And I hadn't really had time since. <br /><br />So I stood there, jiggling baby Paul, absent mindedly starring into my wallet, thinking of what to do or what I might have that would work. Rebekah prattled on, the receptionist continued to be amused. "Well..." I broke in...about to deliver the news that we were out of luck. At that very moment I spotted a card in the side of my wallet. I pulled it out<i> </i>and <i>it was my driver's license</i>. "Well..." I stammered. "This is a miracle. Here's my driver's license." The lady just looked at me and laughed nervously...not really sure what to think of my declaration. "No really. It has been lost for a long time and I just now found it. This is a miracle."<br />
<br />
"God must have put it there! Or Jesus! One of the two!" Rebekah declared with confidence.<br />
<br />
Why yes. She was absolutely right. <br />
<br />
Rebekah has taught me so many things through her just being her. I try so hard to teach her and I hope that I'm able to reciprocate. She is giving, compassionate (she told William 'it didn't feel good' to get a little girl out at a baseball game a few weeks ago...because it made the other girl sad!), and vibrant. Rebekah sees good everywhere. She is creative and pretty darn smart. Quite frankly, she is an excellent big sister - definitely a better big sister than I ever was. :)<br />
<br />
And don't let me fool you. Rebekah and I don't always get along. She will frequently 'not talk' to me. As in, I'm trying to have a simple conversation with her and she simply won't respond. She will be looking at me <i>as if</i> she is paying attention...but she doesn't <i>behave</i> like it. I'll ask her to do something, she'll start off to do it...and I will find it either not done or half done later. (Ex: I'll ask her to go put something away. I'll find it in the next room in the middle of the floor instead of put away.) But if she were perfect, then I supposed I would have named her Jesus. ;-)<br /><br />After the doctor appointment we headed to the car. She asked me if she could eat her bagel and drink her milk. "Yeah, no problem." It hadn't been too hot and we hadn't been at the appointment all that long. "Can I eat my muffin?" I replied "Absolutely. That food is yours, eat whatever you want."We headed off to the daycare to find her class. <br />
<br />
I ended up dropping her off at the park with the rest of her class. As we get out of the car she says "Thanks for letting me eat your pastry Mom!" I didn't think too much about it. <br />
<br />
Later that day, after everyone was dropped off and I was headed into the house to work (from home) - I made sure to get out all the food. I looked in the bag and <i>sure enough</i>...my scone was demolished. As was her muffin.Miriamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09496039555905209214noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1369093889959690648.post-65733330057381383452013-06-21T21:35:00.000-05:002013-06-21T21:35:00.429-05:00Rolly pollyThis morning Paul was fussy. I had nursed him. I had dressed him. I had other things to attend too. I tried letting him hang out next to me. I tried putting him in his swing. He simply wasn't happy anywhere. So I decided to try his floor toy.<br />
<br />
I put him there, pushing him down so he can bang on the piano with his feet (he loves that) and look in the mirror (again - he adores looking at himself in the mirror). No sooner had I pulled back my hands when FLIP! He rolled over.<br />
<br />
He was kinda mad that he was hung up on the side so I put him back. I called the other kids over to watch. They all gathered around and there Paul went again. FLIP!<br />
<br />
They all whooped and hollered cheery on little Paul. How great is it that so young he already has a supportive family? <br />
<br />
Then Rebekah looked at me and said "I bet baby L taught him how to roll when they visited."<br />
<br />
You see, we had visitors last week. My dear friend C came with her two daughters. Her eldest is 4 this month. The younger is 5.5 months. We had put baby L on the toy and she was flipping like crazy. I think Rebekah might be on to something. :-)<br />
<br />
<br />Miriamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09496039555905209214noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1369093889959690648.post-5738363795472072342013-06-10T21:47:00.000-05:002013-06-10T21:47:00.075-05:00Roots and communityI moved 3 times before I ever started school. I attended 5 different elementary schools, 1 jr high and 1 high school. And the jr high and high school were across the country from one another. To say "we moved a lot" is an understatement. And my parents were not in the military, so I didn't have the benefit of being with <i>other</i> kids who moved a lot.<br />
<br />
All this moving I believe has heavily shaped who I am today. I understand friends come and go. I never have <i>a lot</i> of friends - but when I feel short on them I know how to go get some. (I do have to remind myself of this fact.) I understand that a powerful friendship is worth sometimes more than family. This isn't to say I don't value family. This is to say that God will fill in gaps in my personal community. He created us to be communal beings.<br />
<br />
I've been thinking a lot about community. Like a leaf blowing across a busy freeway, an inkling of moving crossed our paths. The move would have been across the state and so I found myself contemplating this little leaf. I realized that although I still have <i>never</i> lived in a house for more than 5 years, I have lived in this <i>community</i>...my community...since I got married oh so long ago. My community has changed drastically since the day I said "I do". There are very few people that have remained in our life over the years that we do not have common blood with. But community is similar to those ocean waves. Each wave is different and brings fresh changes if you look closely - yet the waves are all the same when looked upon from a distance. My life isn't really all that different. There are people. There is a job. A house. Hobbies. Life. Family. But many faces have changed on all fronts. Our friends are different. We have kids - so our family focus has drastically changed. Our church is different. My hobbies even look different.<br />
<br />
So one thing staying in one place has really taught me is that the churn of change doesn't really require moving. Moving out of an area will guarantee a change in the faces, the house and even possibly the job. But obviously since very few people in my life are the same from 14 years ago, staying in one area doesn't guarantee a stable community either.<br />
<br />
We have been attending the same church for 8 years now. This, by the way, is another record for me. I have never lasted so long at a church - through no fault of my own. Changes have come for all different reasons. I value church so heavily that I have never given up on it. (I also don't accept excuses for people who do. Church really is just <i>that</i> important.) <br />
<br />
Even though I have moved frequently, it still doesn't make it any easier to set down roots or to get to know people. There is no instant way to weasel your way in to a tight knit group who all knows one another already. I think that is true even for my current church - who I adore. So many of them have been together for so long - that I still frequently feel like the 'new kid'. But I believe that is somewhat why God has placed me where I am at.<br />
<br />
A year ago last Easter I sat in a foot washing. At the time I had another perspective on the whole thing - but lately I've been thinking about what someone else said to me. She thanked me for being so welcoming. In fact, she made a beeline straight for me to tell me this during this ritual. I didn't necessarily <i>feel</i> it, so it was a bit of a wake up call to me. I am an introvert. I'm socially awkward. I'm always terrified of saying the wrong thing. I <i>do</i> frequently say the wrong things. (I did just this last Thur. I've been trying to not relive it.) Could it be that this is a gift God has given me? Gifts are those things that you do without trying and without meaning too. They just happen. Lord knows I don't try in this area. I really am not good at talking to strangers and I can be so <i>unwelcoming</i> I have to remind myself to smile...because my face looks perpetually like I'm scowling if I don't. (No really. There is a constant conversation in my head..."Miriam! You aren't smiling! That person is going to think you are angry with them! SMILE ALREADY!")<br />
<br />
Perhaps I've been carrying around this new feeling for so long that it is just perhaps part of who I am? "Hi I'm Miriam! I'm new...I've been here about 8 years how about you?" I'm certainly only <i>just</i> feeling established. I'm only just figuring out my role in my church. (I feel I've just scratched the surface...at this point about all I do is <i>gather</i> people...women specifically.) Why am I so slow? It took the Israelites 40 years to figure things out in the desert. I'm not 40 yet...and I'm certain I'm no better than they are.<br />
<br />
<br />
I'm thankful for finally having this feeling of roots and community. I don't believe it will last. That will always be a perpetual feeling for me. But I'm thankful for it nonetheless. Roots have allowed me to grow stronger, to blossom and to grow thick branches. When the next swirling storm of change comes through, I will be ready and stronger than ever to handle it.Miriamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09496039555905209214noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1369093889959690648.post-8770944128670885132013-06-08T20:33:00.000-05:002013-06-08T20:33:00.491-05:00Paul at...however old he is!The thing about returning to work is that during maternity leave, I knew exactly how old Paul was. "He is 9 weeks and 3 days" I told someone one time. That person cocked their head and noted how precise I was. yep. <br />
<br />
Since I'm not really tracking a return to work, it gets a little trickier. I told someone one time that I usually switch from 'weeks' to 'months' after I return to work. That is true this time as well. "Oh, he's about 3 and a half months."<br />
<br />
Funny how that works.<br />
<br />
Paul is cooing - a lot. He loves being talked too and he loves 'talking' back. He has this big huge smile that takes up his entire face - and he reserves it only for those times he is being talked too. Otherwise, he is one serious baby. And when he is concentrating hard he has what I like to call a 'duck face'. He focuses intently and pooches his lips out...just enough for a classic duck face.<br />
<br />Paul's current hobbies include intensely examining his feet, talking to people, crying (particularly when he isn't being held), clearing the room with his gas and of course pooping.<br />
<br />
In fact, we have renamed the 'bumbo seat' to the 'poop seat'. He tends to poop while he is in it. I recall Ruth doing the same thing. What is it with the "bumble bee" (as Ruth calls it) and pooping? It tends to blow out too.<br />
<br />
Paul is already in size 2 diapers. However, I think the next diapers we buy will be 3's. I still have a few 1's laying around...and he really is too big for those. I'm just trying to use 'em up. I have some 2's...and judging by how they fit and the fact we buy diapers in bulk...3's might just make the most sense.<br />
<br />
I can still squeeze him into 3-6 mo outfits. He is super long and so it takes some tugs to get the snaps done. However, I've got 12 mo outfits mixed in his drawer. Those aren't overly large either. He's a big boy and is routinely confused for a 6 mo old.<br />
<br />
Rebekah loves carrying Paul around. I let her around the house...but am nervous to let her outside of the house (re: hard cement for example). She is kinda clumsy and I'd hate for something to happen while she was holding Paul.<br />
<br />
Peter showers Paul in squishes and smooshes. I don't think he knows how to express love differently? He did the same thing with Ruth. The kid LOVES babies though. I try really hard to not yell at him too much or push him away too much. But sometimes it just overloads MY senses...I can only imagine how Paul feels? Peter also likes to declare his love for Paul. "I love Paul more than the carpet!" Um...ok. So one time I asked him..."How much do you like [the current thing he was comparing his love for Paul too]?" He replied "Not very much." Alrighty then! Glad we straightened that out. <br />
<br />
Ruth is gentle and sweet with Paul...most of the time. She will talk to him and sometimes is perplexed that he doesn't answer. She prefers if I answer for him. Sometimes I will pretend that Paul is praising her for doing something (for example...getting her PJs on herself). She will giggle and say "Paul do it again!" She gives him the sweetest kisses that I hope to never forget...bending over him and ever so gently pooching her lips out and slobbering on his cheek. She loves sitting in my lap when I'm holding Paul - so I do my best to make sure to never say "I can't hold you, I'm holding Paul." This is tough. She isn't usually happy with just sitting NEXT to me like Peter was. But it is good. I have even figured out how to nurse holding both of them. I'll take my cuddles while I can. When Ruth <i>isn't</i> sweet with Paul...it is absurd really. Randomly (and with regularity...but I haven't figured out a pattern) she will just walk up and slap Paul. She hasn't hurt him too badly yet. But still. I don't understand it. It is usually very sudden (as in she is standing there fine one second...even perhaps watching TV or something then turns around and whaps him).<br />
<br />
Max is well enough with Paul. When Paul is crying I will frequently catch Max 'kissing' him...sigh. Great way to build his immune system right? I'm all "Max! Paul is not inviting you!" but Max is Max. <br />
<br />
I'm curious what kind of kid Paul will grow up to be. I wonder if he will be as verbal as Ruth has been? Or as ornery as Peter was or Ruth is? Will he be sweet and crafty like Rebekah? Or do I have a whole new bundle of surprises waiting for me? Miriamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09496039555905209214noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1369093889959690648.post-55955824534409365012013-06-06T20:32:00.000-05:002013-06-06T20:32:01.628-05:00Broken promises<div dir="ltr">
Rebekah came running inside whaling that Peter broke his promise. We do take broken promises seriously around our house. It is important to follow through.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
"Well what did Peter promise?" we asked.</div>
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<br /></div>
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Rebekah replied "To be my servant forever!"</div>
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<br /></div>
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We immediately knew this was an invalid promise. "What <i>exactly</i> does he get in return for his forever servitude?" I asked.</div>
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<br /></div>
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"A drink of water!"</div>
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<br /></div>
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"So you are upset that Peter isn't keeping his promise to be your servant forever...because you gave him a drink of water? Let's have a talk about grace and promises that can't be kept..."</div>
Miriamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09496039555905209214noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1369093889959690648.post-29681726318130656272013-06-05T21:16:00.000-05:002013-06-05T21:16:00.275-05:00I'm so glad oxygen is freeI've been back to work for 3.5 weeks. I can't believe it has been that long already...honestly. But it is true.<br />
<br />
Things are settling down rather quickly. I'm already making dinner again. I attribute this entirely to William's helpfulness. He has even been planning ahead with things. I must be rubbing off on him? In addition to him planning ahead...I've taken some deep breaths and I've been trying to be relaxed a little bit. So what if we don't eat dinner until 6:30? Or 7 even? Yes...I have some rather hungry children. But I've been trying to eliminate the things that bother me the most.<br />
<br />
For example...previously the kids would watch TV up until dinner. With a much later dinner...this means that they spend much of their evening watching TV. I personally hate TV. I mean...I like to watch it myself...but I hate what it does to the kids. They turn into little zombies. And Rebekah and Peter are starting to watch less educational things which just makes me feel worse about it. So I implemented a new rule. No TV until after dinner. This has made me feel much better about the later dinners. They have been going out to play or they play among themselves. Just last night Rebekah was a 'Mama Horse" and Ruth was a 'baby horse'. Rebekah gave Peter rides and Ruth had fun being "mama'd" by Rebekah. Pretend play at its best. This makes my heart happy.<br />
<br />
The other issue is that the children are frequently about-to-die-starving. Well...<i>they</i> would tell you that anyway. So waiting so long for dinner has been tough. Typically we would have cereal or Kashi snack bars available for snacks...but honestly I don't want my kids eating so much of this food. To fix this problem I have been making an effort to keep self-serve fruits available. Or carrots. We nearly always have carrots. The kids can get this stuff by themselves (Rebekah and Peter anyway) and I don't mind so much. Eating things that you can pick and eat is <i>always </i>OK in my book. <br />
<br />
So with those two problems fixed evenings has been going much smoother. I frequently have to stop and nurse Paul or cuddle with him a bit when we get home. If he isn't done yet - William will start dinner when he gets home. It is about 50/50 on who cooks these days. I think this is a better arrangement. No one likes to do all the cooking. (I prefer William to cook...I genuinely think his food tastes better.) <br />
<br />
This teamwork approach has been amazing really. Don't get me wrong...just last night I yelled because Ruth spilled some milk. THEN she cried because I was cleaning it up. I lost it there. And then it spilled over into me getting snippy with Peter. So yeah...<i>not perfect</i>. But really, it could be worse.<br />
<br />
Yelling in general has been something I've been working. I noticed around December I was pretty yelly. And yelling is pretty ugly. I never felt good about it and I really didn't want to be <i>that</i> mom. It isn't how I want my kids to remember their childhood. So I've been working on it. I'm not perfect...but I'm <i>better</i>. I'm not yelling multiple times in an evening more. It is more like a couple times a week. I noticed during maternity leave a few triggers for me.<br />
<br />
First - being well rested really helps. I felt like I could conquer the world. Well rested with a baby in the house you say? Why yes. Naps are marvelous things. And my baby will nap all day long as long as you are napping with him. So I'd just take him to bed and sleep. It was great. I felt prepared for the chaos that was to come when everyone was home around 5. Now that I'm back to work - naps are harder to come by. So I'm trying to figure out a solution there. I don't have a good one.<br />
<br />
Second - when things spiral out of control (one thing after another) tends to set me off. When I have all 4 kids needing me in a 5 minute span...it is a bit much. When I have to repeate the same thing to all 4 kids...or when all 4 kids are misbehaving (ok...3...Paul doesn't really <i>misbehave</i>...but him crying certainly contributes) in a short amount of time it is a trigger. If they misbehave spaced far enough apart and I have a chance to regroup I do a lot better. For example...if Ruth spills milk, Peter comes in tracking mud everywhere and then Rebekah is asking me to play some game with her all in a 5 minute time period (and for good measure...throw Paul crying in the middle of all this...) I'm likely to yell at the last kid. If Ruth spills her milk, I clean it up and take a deep breath, <i>then</i> Peter comes in all muddy...I help him...and THEN Rebekakh comes in asking to play some game...last kid is less likely to get yelled at. (It is 50/50 if Paul is crying. :-P) I don't have a good answer for this either...other than I have identified it. Going into the evenings expecting mass chaos and craziness has really helped. Knowing that the first scenario is more the rule than the exception...it is almost like dodging a bullet. Changing expectations and letting go of things like "I MUST COOK DINNER" does wonders. I don't know why...it just does.<br />
<br />
Yelling is also kind of cyclical. I yell. Then I feel bad. So then I'm feeling bad and I yell again because I feel bad. Then I feel worse because I yelled again and I'm frustrated with myself so I yell again. So working hard to STOP has also really helped...as crazy as that sounds. Stopping encourages less yelling. ;-)<br />
<br />
So an uncontrollable hurdle to a lot of this (at least since Feb) is Paul. He cries. And he cries a lot. And when he is crying my body tenses up and the stress level rises a few notches. I can console him though - which is good. I can pick him up and cuddle him and he's all better. The problem is sometimes I can't. And then it makes me wish we were past this particular baby stage. Then I immediately feel guilty for not enjoying his babyhood. (I don't remember much of Peter's...I'm pretty sure it is a defense mechanism...you know how you remember the good? Yep. Only there isn't much good.) Vicious really. Isn't motherhood vicious? So...more deep breaths.<br />
<br />
I'm so glad oxygen is free...because Lord knows I use it a lot.<br />
<br />
I actually think things have been going pretty well...as crazy as that sounds. I've been working really hard to focus on the things that really seem important. Spending time with the kids. Enjoying their quirks. Remembering their funny tales. Listening to them. I think listening to them is so important. I'm terrified that when they grow older, they won't talk to us. This is only a theory - but I feel if I listen to my kids now, they will be more willing to talk to me later. You know...when they big things going on in their life.<br />
<br />
A key to this for me are my church family. They see my kids in all their crazy glory every Sunday. And they laugh at them and enjoy them. I tell stories (sometimes meant as vents of frustrations) and they laugh and tell me how cute my kids are. What? Ok...I guess that was kind of cute. God has put amazing people in my life to encourage me and help guide me on this parenting journey. And there really isn't a day that goes by that I am not grateful. <br />
<br />
Now it is summer. Things are always easier in the summer. The oldest two have baseball. I can't wait to watch their games and cheer them on. We have warm weather. I want to try for regular family bike rides. I want Peter to learn to ride without training wheels this summer. I'd love to get back into running...would love it. Running is just so therapeutic for me and I miss it like crazy. BUT. I have to wait. I have to get these other things under control because time is so precious and precarious right now. It isn't the season just yet. It will happen soon enough though, I'm sure of it. And when I do I have a used-only-once shiny new Garmin watch and some awesome new running shoes waiting for me.<br />
<br />Miriamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09496039555905209214noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1369093889959690648.post-50588390827251230652013-04-23T15:27:00.003-05:002013-04-23T15:27:50.530-05:00Paul, Ruth and Work OH MY!Friday I had the pleasure of taking both Paul and Ruth in for some checkups. Paul was there for his 2 mo checkup and Ruth was there for her 2.5 yr checkup.<br />
<br />
First Paul - he weighed in at a whopping 17 lbs 9 oz (99%) with a height of 24 1/4 inches (61%) and a head circ of 40 1/2 cm (70%). <br />
<br />
At 2 mo, Paul smiles a lot when you talk to him. He thinks Ruth is hilarious. (She takes the time to stop and talk to him - the other two are usually too busy...minus the regular squishings from Peter.) He has also started cooing and giggling. He's pretty serious - except when he is smiling. It is funny actually - because it is quite the pendulum swing. HUGE gigantic grins - or he's so serious he borders on grumpy. Not too much in the middle.<br />
<br />
I was quite pleased that his weight, particularly after being drug in for extra weight checks his first week of life. I knew he'd grow. :-) God is faithful.<br />
<br />
Ruth is still short with a big head. ;-) She weighed in at 30.2 lbs (67%) with a height of 35 1/4 inches (43%) and a head circ of 51 cm (greater than 97%). It is all good - she doesn't <i>look</i> like she has a big head. ;-)<br />
<br />
At 2.4 Ruth jumps, can take her clothes off and is borderline potty trained. She can go. She knows all the mechanics. She just hasn't made that leap. With the other two, it was a very sudden leap. One day, they weren't interested...then BAMO...fully potty trained. She wants panties pretty bad. I need to make a search for some mickey ones. I've checked target/walmart with no luck. I think that would be a great motivator. She is onery as all get out. She gets into everything and is rather good at sneaking off to do things she isn't supposed too. *sigh* Goof. And she is hard to punish - she thinks the corner is fun. Lastly - she can nearly spell Peter's name, her name and almost counts to 20. (She regularly skips 4-5-6 for some reason.) Colors? Shapes? Not so much. Just not interested. This just fascinates me. It is almost like "That stuff is trivial...let's jump ahead to calculus please!"<br />
<br />
I was particularly worried about this appointment as I thought Ruth was getting shots. Handling both Paul and Ruth seemed like a daunting task. (She is not fond of being told that she has to get out of lap to make way for Paul...for instance.) I had a plan in my head of how I could make it work - but it turned out I didn't need it. She doesn't need anymore shots until 5. Whew.<br />
<br />
I apparently didn't ever blog Ruth's 2 mo stats, so I have nothing to compare it too...not without digging for the little papers. :) I've kept every single one! I'm more interested to see how Paul compares to Peter. I think that would be more telling. <br />
<br />
I told the doctor "So Paul is short and fat and Ruth is short with a big head...how odd!" She (we are seeing another doc until our reg. ped gets his new practice up and running) looked at me quizzically and said "Well I wouldn't say short exactly...average perhaps!" Oh dear doctor - when your oldest two are in the 80-90%, with a tall dad and clearly a tall mom...yes...comparatively...they are SHORT. :) I think Paul will catch up though. Ruth? Well - we do have short genes on both sides of the family. I suppose it is possible for a kid to pick up some random genes. Just look at Rebekah. Random red head. :) I love the fact that each kid has a distinctive physical trait and they aren't simply clone copies. (They do resemble each other clearly. I checked out <a href="http://namingtheclouds.blogspot.com/2010/12/ruth-at-8-weeks.html" target="_blank">Ruth's 2 mo pictures</a> and yeah...there is a huge resemblance between her and Paul.)<br />
<br />
Anyway - so yesterday I was sick. Not just oh-I-have-a-cold-and-I'm-whiny sick...but sick with fireworks. I couldn't really sit up, my stomach hurt like no other...and the toilet and I were good pals. All the while I was home alone with little Paul. My saving grace? Paul loves to cuddle. We hung out and slept all day. He slept with me or he played (kicked is legs and arms for example) while I slept. I was just so blessed that he was super easy to take care of. I guess that is the perk of having a cuddly baby. He really <i>really</i> likes to cuddle. (Today he has been less than thrilled being put in the swing while I've tried to get things done...like straighten up and put away the baby shower presents to...well...writing this little post.) <br /><br />I'd love to share pics, but I'm having a computer crisis. Well...not crisis. I need to network my new computer with the computer downstairs. I haven't found the time to sit down and figure it out (and I asked William to do it but he hasn't either)...so thus...no pictures. Why is this important? Because I backup the pics on the downstairs computer and only keep a certain amount on the upstairs. I don't trust the upstairs laptop (which is rather abused thanks to careless children) to hold such precious information by its lonesome. So there you have it. Must. Network. :)<br />
<br />
Hopefully I'll have some cute ones to share soon.<br />
<br />
Last but not least - I have just 3 weeks left before returning to work. Ugh. Ughity ugh ugh ugh. I like work and all - but returning is never easy. I can't imagine what it is like for those moms who dislike their jobs? I don't think I could do it. I'd have to quit. <br />
<br />
While stay at home isn't in my future anytime soon - or perhaps ever (can't picture it - I think I'd be a maniac) - I still do wish I had more time to hang out with my baby. They really are little for such a short period of time. *sigh* I wish we had longer (paid) maternity leaves. Yes paid. Without it, extending maternity leave is in gesture only - who would be able to afford the time off? I barely have enough time off to pay for this maternity leave, let alone something longer. I could rant all day about maternity leaves. :) But I won't. That and nursing are probably two subject I'm rather passionate about.<br />
<br />
So...3 weeks. Tick tock.Miriamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09496039555905209214noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1369093889959690648.post-52438778131833253682013-03-31T13:28:00.000-05:002013-03-31T13:28:00.409-05:00Paul at 6 wksI've been pretty horrible at taking pictures. This time has been a bit difficult for me. <br />
<br />
For <i>me</i>, I've had a little trouble getting motivated to do anything. Paul likes to be held...<i>a lot</i>. So it seems so much simpler to sit around and hold him. But then I look at all the things not done and I feel unaccomplished. So a viscous cycle really. A wise friend told me I'm being too hard on myself. I've taken this to heart and have been working to get over the hump.<br />
<br />
There is something else that has been helping. I frequently lament that Paul is no where near as easy as Ruth. Ruth was happy to hang out. I'd set her down in her crib or on her little toy playmat thingy and she would be perfectly happy to sit for long periods of time. This does not describe Paul at all. He will barely stay in the swing let alone the crib. When he is awake he likes to look around. So when I lament, William is always quick to tell me that while Ruth may have been easy, Peter has prepared me.<br />
<br />
I kept wondering what this had to do with anything - so it has taken a few weeks to really sink in. I am prepared for a needier baby. I know what it is like and I can look back on the experience to fully understand what I need to do differently. So I've been working hard to bring up all those memories that I've buried. (Most of Peter's baby memories aren't happy ones...so I honestly have forgotten much of it.)<br />
<br />
Here are some of the things I do remember though. <br />
<br />
I remember feeling helpless on the couch as I was forever nursing gigantababy Peter. So I've worked to make sure my needs are met before I sit down to nurse Paul. (He does love to nurse. :) ) I've got a book, I've got the remotes, I've got a glass of water, I've moved my phone charger (because it doesn't hold a charge for crap) next to my sitting spot. I'm all set. And if I need something, I have come to realize it is OK for Paul to cry for the 5 minutes it takes to make sure I'm settled. Happy mamma makes a sane mamma.<br />
<br />
I remember feeling like I could never set Peter down. I've got my Moby wrap. I use it a lot. (I actually used this all the time with Ruth. I bought it because of Peter actually. :-) ) Ruth loved it and Paul is no different. He snuggled right down in there and hangs out. The only time he isn't happy in there is if he is hungry (which is frequent) or if he is awake. He really likes to physically crane his head and look around. And in the wrap, he will push himself out to get a peek at the world. Crazy baby.<br />
<br />
One last thing I struggled with when Peter was a baby was bedtime. Peter would scream while I put Rebekah to bed and frankly, it fried my nerves. (I'm sure moms understand...when your baby is crying your ears focus in on that and it becomes all consuming. It is hard to concentrate on anything else and your body physically tenses up with stress until it is taken care of. Ok - at least it does for me.) So we've been tweaking bedtime routines to make them cry-free. We tried just leaving him in the swing while we put the other kids to bed, but more screaming was being done than anything else. I tried taking Paul in with me while I put Ruth to bed, but she didn't really care for that. Since she is still young, I don't want her to think her mommy time is taken away. Bedtime is one of the few times she has with us that is all to herself. So now Paul goes with whomever is putting the big kids to bed. They happen to love the idea of Paul "putting them to bed". So I think this is working for us.<br />
<br />
I've also realized that my plans are pretty useless. So I cut myself slack...at least I try. Yesterday, for example, I intended to go to Sam's. However, Paul was super fussy all morning long. I felt stressed about the entire thing because of my intention to go to Sam's. Taking a baby out in public that is crying on and off just did not sound appealing. I finally decided I wouldn't go and it would be OK - I was fine attending to Paul and his fussy butt. It was annoying that I couldn't even pee without listening to him scream, but some days are like that. At least I didn't have to take a screaming baby out!<br />
<br />
As far as Paul goes, he's doing all those things that babies should be doing. He's pooping well, eating, sleeping and spending his time looking absolutely adorable. Just last night he was giggling in his sleep. How crazy is that? He has also smiled quite a few times while he was awake. And one very memorable time, I was talking to him and he did one of his huge grins.<br />
<br />
It is a good thing God made babies cute.<br />
<br />
Paul is also holding up his head really well. He can hold it up and look both ways. In fact, he likes to hold it up, push on you (while you are holding him) and look around. Since he isn't a fan of being put down, I haven't really put him down for floor time much. I tried once and it lasted like 37 seconds. :-)<br />
<br />
And with all that said - I'm being beckoned. This has taken me 3 days to write, so I think we'll call it done. :)<br />
<br />
Oh...and HAPPY EASTER! Thank goodness JESUS IS RISEN!Miriamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09496039555905209214noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1369093889959690648.post-463446934074338672013-03-28T22:30:00.000-05:002013-03-28T22:30:01.299-05:00Symmetries of fourI'm pretty goofy - I sit around and think about commonalities, differences and meanings behind overly simple things. And I've been thinking about the kids a lot. Here are some things I've come up with.<br />
<br />
Rebekah and Peter have the same number of syllables in their full name.<br />
Ruth and Paul have the same number in theirs.<br />
<br />
Of course, the girls' names both start with R and boys' start with P. <br />
<br />
None of the name stuff was intentional. It just worked out that way.<br />
<br />
Rebekah and Ruth were both induced.<br />
Peter and Paul both came on their own. <br />
<br />
Rebekah and Ruth were both super easy babies.<br />
Peter and Paul...well, Paul isn't as difficult as Peter but it certainly more difficult than Ruth.<br />
<br />
Rebekah and Peter are 2 yrs 4 mo apart.<br />
Ruth and Paul are 2 yrs 4 mo apart.<br />
(Peter and Ruth are 2 yrs 10 mo apart. I told you, he was more difficult of a baby than Rebekah. :-) )<br />
<br />
These are just a few things that have crossed my mind. I find it fascinating how there are commonalities between the first two and last two...and boys vs. girls. I'm sure I'll come up with more. :-)<br />
<br />Miriamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09496039555905209214noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1369093889959690648.post-76135696434558500552013-03-26T22:03:00.000-05:002013-04-03T11:20:13.431-05:00Ruth sells out PaulWell that didn't take long. The children were being unruly so the old spoon made an appearance. Right now, Ruth thinks spankings are fun. She sees the big kids get them (she doesn't get them in earnest yet) and thinks she should get them too. (This makes going into the naughty chair fun too...really folks.) <br />
<br />
William said joking "Ok, who needs a spanking now?" Ruth promptly replied "Paul does!"<br />
<br />
So that didn't really take long for her to sell him out...now did it?<br />
<br />
Peter also came up with a new joke. It goes like this...<br />
<br />
Knock knock!<br />
Who's there!<br />
Interrupting Paul!<br />
Interrupting Paul wh....<br />
WHAAAA!<br />
<br />
We were having a rousing round of knock knock jokes when Ruth piped in.<br />
<br />
Knock knock!<br />
Who's there!<br />
Interrupting Paul!<br />
<br />
Ruth says "Paul who?" But it was so fast Peter didn't get a chance to say "WHAA!" And it was absolutely hilarious with the earnestness that she said. Really...now WHO is this Paul character?Miriamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09496039555905209214noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1369093889959690648.post-66422382510248105752013-03-20T20:27:00.000-05:002013-03-20T20:27:00.070-05:00Birth story for Paul: Making straight my pathsThis really is the final installment of Paul's birthstory. While I've already told about his birth, meeting his siblings and the hospital stay...the bottom line is that his story extends into the following week of his life.<br />
<br />
The first four parts:<br />
<br />
<ul>
<li><a href="http://namingtheclouds.blogspot.com/2013/02/birth-story-for-paul-beginning.html" target="_blank">The beginning</a></li>
<li><a href="http://namingtheclouds.blogspot.com/2013/02/birth-story-for-paul-actual-birth.html" target="_blank">The actual birth</a></li>
<li><a href="http://namingtheclouds.blogspot.com/2013/03/birth-story-for-paul-meeting-other-kids.html" target="_blank">Meeting the other kids</a></li>
<li><a href="http://namingtheclouds.blogspot.com/2013/03/birth-story-for-paul-dreaded-hospital.html" target="_blank">The dreaded hospital stay</a></li>
</ul>
<br />
The original plan for when Paul was born was for William to take 3 days off. His mom was going to stay that week. We would take a week off together as a family over spring break.<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I wasn't crazy about this plan.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
For one thing, I wasn't crazy about being left home with his mom so much. She's a sweet lady, but we simply do not have a lot to say to one another. This makes for a lot of staring.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I wasn't crazy about William not being home in general. For Rebekah, he took off 2 wks. For the other two, he took off 3. So I was mourning the fact that wasn't happening this time around.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
If you recall, I mentioned that <a href="http://namingtheclouds.blogspot.com/2013/02/birth-story-for-paul-beginning.html" target="_blank">God told me everything would work out</a> that night when He informed me I was indeed in labor.<br />
<br />
So a few things happened that week that were simply miraculous to me.<br />
<br />
First - Rebekah did not miss a single day of school (as I had anticipated) for the birth of Paul. She was already out of school Mon and Tue for inservice days. So that was actually pretty nice. I'm not opposed to pulling kids out of school, but I do try to limit it.<br />
<br />
Second - William was home for 4 out of 5 days that week. For someone who hardly wanted to take 2 days off, this was pretty amazing. Wed-Thur there was a record snowfall. Roads were so bad on Thur, that only the absolute necessary folks went into work. (That was one tech.) William was able to WFH which allowed him to also avoid burning a vacation day. It was nice having him there. He would have stayed home Wed, but some "C-type" folks were in town (CFO, COO..etc etc) and he had to meet with them. So things worked perfectly that he was able to meet with them AND he got to be home more than originally anticipated.<br />
<br />
Third - it didn't snow that weekend. If it had, my MIL would have ended up staying who knows how much longer. It cleared up just enough for her to get home at the scheduled departure time.<br />
<br />
Fourth - both my MIL and Mom were helpful. I was pretty grateful my MIL ended up staying the week. (It was a last minute decision on our part. My original intention was to not have the additional house guest.) I can't explain why we changed our mind - too much to go into - but looking back I truly was grateful she was there with the additional hands and that she was actually helpful. My mom was super helpful too. This is...well...rare. She has good intentions but she is also super busy so often things don't work out. They both got to the bottom of Mnt. Laundryopolis in my basement - which I had found to be overwhelming. There were extra baby clothes to wash on top of all the normal laundry that I do on Sundays. It was <i>a lot</i> and they tackled it.<br />
<br />
Lastly - I had been praying for a positive hospital stay experience. I wanted to fondly remember Paul's birth without any bad memories attached. He's my caboose. I wanted to end on a positive note. A lot happened at Ruth's birth that I've not ever written about (nor will I ever) that deeply saddened me. We had planned everything possible that we could to avoid any repeats - but there was only so much planning we could do. Much of it was up to other people and the decisions that they choose. So I prayed - because outside of the planning only God could help with the rest. And He did. I truly had a positive experience and He made straight my paths just has He promised that night as I was laying in bed denying that labor was starting.<br />
<br />
Oh - and Rebekah's concert that I was so worried about? It was post poned even further due to the snow. So I didn't have to take a 1 week old baby out and attend a concert. I was grateful for that too.<br />
<br />
I'm thankful for this little guy and I'm excited for the things that God has in store for him. <br />
<br />
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Miriamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09496039555905209214noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1369093889959690648.post-44185294007381493342013-03-14T20:21:00.000-05:002013-03-14T20:21:00.191-05:00Never too tired to be a smart alecWilliam has been taking the kids to Awanas recently. Frequently Ruth likes to go. This particular night, William looked in the rear view mirror and saw that she looked wilty.<br />
<br />
"Hey Ruthie? You look tired! Are you ready for bed?" he asked.<br />
<br />
Without missing a beat she replied "We don't go to bed in the car silly goose!"<br />
<br />
Touche!<br />
<br />Miriamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09496039555905209214noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1369093889959690648.post-22901186476401905522013-03-13T19:49:00.000-05:002013-03-13T19:49:10.376-05:00Birth story for Paul: The dreaded hospital stayThe hospital stay is the absolute worst part about giving birth (for me). I would totally do it at home if a) my OB would come to my house and b) it wouldn't freak William out. :-P The first three I had gone to a hospital across town. This time I had the choice between that hospital and the hospital where William works. So I weighed the pros and cons.<br />
<br />
Hospital A:<br />
- I was familiar with it.<br />
- There are queen size beds in the recovery rooms, providing William a reasonable place to sleep.<br />
- ...<br />
<br />
Hospital B:<br />
- William works there<br />
- No bed for William (a futon - that he would NOT have fit on)<br />
- Had a great rep for excellent nurses<br />
<br />
I asked William his thoughts. He said it didn't matter to him. The plan was already for him to go home at night. This would allow him to be able to easily get the kids ready in the morning to come visit.<br />
<br />
Two out of 3 nursing experiences at Hospital A were...<i>horrible</i> and the last was great with a mediocre chaser (my L&D nurse was awesome, but once I left there...I was surrounded by mediocrity at best nursing). My initial thought was to stick with what I knew - but when I really thought about it, I decided that there was really no reason to return to the familiar. My chances of having another horrible nursing experience seemed pretty high to me.<br />
<br />
So I chose Hospital B. I didn't feel I had anything to lose really and everything to gain.<br />
<br />
My hospital stay didn't disappoint. While there were a few things I didn't care for (like asking me about my full meal plan for my entire stay with in a couple hours after giving birth...I kid you not). But the nursing did not disappoint. The quality of care I received was so excellent that I felt in some instances, the care at the hospital was sub-par. (You know how you think you have had a certain kind of experience...but it is all you know...and then you have another and you realize that first was worse than you thought?)<br />
<br />
There was a nurse in my room post-recovery nearly all day. They poked and prodded on me frequently, but it was ok and completely necessary. I had the same nurse all day. She was friendly, sweet and completely professional. Just plain awesome. And when my nurse did change, they came in and introduced themselves. I also noticed that everyone who entered my room asked me if I needed anything - no matter who they were or what their job role was.<br />
<br />
The day went by quickly with people in and out of my room. You know in the movies when time passes they show people walking along a sidewalk in a fast forward fashion? It felt a little like that. My focus was wrapping my head around the fact that this baby was here, it was a boy and his name was Paul. <br />
<br />
Paul has been an unusual baby from the start. That day, instead of sleeping like most babies, he was highly awake and alert. He was already turning his head and lifting it up to look around. To top it off, Paul is probably the best nurser "straight out of the chute" that I've ever had. He nursed every 2 hrs for 30-45 min at a whack. I had nothing better to do and didn't mind a bit. Plus those early nursing session can be so important to setting up for a successful nursing relationship.<br />
<br />
That night, my new nurse came in to introduce herself. She was by far my favorite nurse. You would think a night nurse couldn't receive such high praise - but she totally deserved it. We chatted a bit (in which she again mentioned she heard I had 'quite the morning'!!) and I learned she had 2 small kids at home and she was a fan of nursing. She told me that she needed to check me again around midnight. This angel of a woman then told me that I had the choice of calling her to let her know when I was awake around then OR she could just come in and check me every 4 hrs (or whatever). <br />
<br />
Um, yes please.<br />
<br />
I settled down for the night, expecting a pretty good sleep. That first night is usually pretty quiet since the newborns are in their just-being-born-stupor. I was looking forward to some rest, because I hadn't gotten too much since I woke up at 2 AM. I turned off the TV, placed a snuggly swaddled and sleeping Paul into his little bassinet thing and settled down. About 2 minutes later, the snuggly swalddled and sleeping Paul woke up in full force.<br />
<br />
I took him out, nursed him a bit until he again fell asleep and put him back. Rinse and repeat. I gave up around 10:30 and attempted to sleep sitting up. It wasn't a great sleep, but I was getting more than I would have otherwise. So I place him such that he wouldn't roll and nodded off a bit. It was a very unrestful sleep...did I mention that? <br />
<br />
I finally called the nurse around 1 AM. I was awake at midnight, but I was curious if she'd come in anyway. :) She came in a few minutes later and apologized for not being there immediately. I was a little surprised at that, because she didn't really take that long in my opinion. She poked on me, took my temp and blood pressure and then said "I don't think you need that, how about we take it out?" pointing to my IV.<br />
<br />
I hate the IV. They always leave my arm sore for at least a week post-birth. (This time it was 2.) I also have a small allergic reaction to the glue used on the tape. If left on too long, I get a nice rash. (Happens with all medical adhesive stuff...) At Hospital A the nurses always refused to take it out until right before I left. I was told that it was a "precautionary" measure "in case something happens". Right. I didn't bother asking this time around, since I had been shot down for all the other kids. Imagine my surprise when the nurse asked if it was OK if she took it out? "You'll probably sleep better without it." she told me. <br />
<br />
I really didn't need any convincing. <br />
<br />
I tried a few more times to put Paul in the bassinet, but it appears that he hates to sleep flat. (We are still trying to figure out a good sleeping arrangement that works for both of us.) I'm sure he will outgrow it soon enough.<br />
<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I got a hospital picture of the family this time!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
William and the kids showed up around 8 the next morning. The kids ran around like hooligans until I was able to leave at noon. <br />
<br />
All in all, I was happy I chose Hospital B. If I were given the choice again, I'd make the same decision. I still hate the hospital stays, but the nurses really made it bearable. <br />
<br />
About the only other thing I disliked at the hospital was the over utilization of the phone. I've never had to use the phone so much. Awful. I hated answering it and half the time it would get moved to where I couldn't reach it. I was left scrambling to get it several times. And let's not forget my basic dislike of phones in general. I barely answer my phone! :)<br />
<br />
One other thing I liked - the room itself had a nice little waiting area where family/guests could go whenever they needed to get out. I don't mind kicking adults out and letting them stand around awkwardly in hallways. However, the room was super nice for kids (chairs and a tv were included in that room). I know that keeping my kids corralled is a job in and of itself. So having the room was great so that all of these kind people who were corralling the children for me had an easier time of it.<br />
<br />
I'm glad my hospital stay wasn't dreadful. It is a miracle in my mind. I prayed over it heavily because a lot went wrong with the hospital stay at Ruth's birth. Everything went smoothly and I have positive memories - priceless.Miriamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09496039555905209214noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1369093889959690648.post-13897951320128468062013-03-06T20:52:00.002-06:002013-03-06T20:52:29.225-06:00Birth story for Paul: Meeting the other kidsOne thing I've done for each and every child is that the kids are the FIRST to meet their new sibling. I've had a yearning for a family that is close. The healthy kind of close. The kind of close that you know that you can rely on one another no matter what. That you love one another no matter what. That you can support one another through anything.<br />
<br />
And a great start is being the FIRST to welcome one another into the world. There is something to be said of firsts. So absolutely unequivocally the kids are the first (besides William and myself) to meet the new baby. <br />
<br />
We gave Jan a call to let her know she was free to come whenever. And she got there pretty quick. I felt bad because we had to delay letting them in due to me being checked...and I can't recall what else. It felt like forever - but my sense of time was pretty off.<br />
<br />
Finally William went to get them. He walked in and asked each of the kids what their guess was. Rebekah guessed girl. Peter guessed boy. Ruth guessed girl. <br />
<br />
William smiled and said "Well, two of you are wrong." Peter thought about it for a moment. William said he could see the smile spread across Peter's face as he realized HE was right. His face erupted into overflowing joy and he exclaimed "YES!" complete with a fist pump. <br />
<br />
They made their way back to the room to meet little Paul. <br />
<br />
I was still in a bit of a haze, but my recollection was simply that Peter was smitten, Ruth was excited and Rebekah was playing it cool. I think Rebekah tried hard to not be in love - but love won out.<br />
<br />
I think the pictures speak for themselves. <br />
<br />
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<br />
They watched Paul get cleaned up. Peter was right there in the mix. Ruth stood looking at me, not really sure what to think. She was concerned about the IV line, but wasn't afraid. (Rebekah was terrified of it when Peter was born - wouldn't come near me. I was happy Ruth was scared like that.) Rebekah sat on the couch, a quiet observer in it all.<br />
<br />
I tried to pay attention to it all, but it was hard. There was a lot going on in the room. And honestly, it is amazing to me how hazy everything was. But this sticks out. Jan had an amazing story to tell me.<br />
<br />
She said that this particular weekend her son had a college wrestling tournament. She had thought about attending, but then he was sick...and so she had thought he wouldn't wrestle. He had ended up getting better in time to wrestle, but she still felt she shouldn't go. Saturday was a very chaotic day for her. Overly chaotic. The kind that would make you wonder if you could squeeze one more thing in. And Sunday looked to be busy too. God woke her up at 5 AM on Sunday to tell her that things would be just fine, they would work out, and that this baby was coming today.<br /><br />Isn't that amazing? Hearing this and a related story where God woke up my mom and told her that the baby was coming AND that it would be a boy...made me feel a little like Mary - in that God announced this baby's arrival. I've been pondering Mary and <a href="http://namingtheclouds.blogspot.com/2012/12/christmas-here-we-come.html" target="_blank">her thoughts on motherhood</a> for awhile. So I've been trying to treasure every moment. I kind of wonder what she thought when she got all her visitors? The Bible doesn't say - but it would be a confirmation that the Lord's plan is playing out. She might have been a woman of great faith - but everyone gets shaken up now and again. And sometimes the Lord sends us encouragement ahead of time, so that we can remind ourselves of it later when we need it. <br />
<br />
For me - it was just a reminder that having this baby earlier than <i>my</i> plans was OK. God knew it was going to be this way. He has things worked out for my best interest. And He was going to continue to show this to me for the rest of the week.<br />
<br />
We all hung out and I soaked it all in.<br />
<br />
Next up: My overall hospital stay.Miriamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09496039555905209214noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1369093889959690648.post-58747179321305525822013-02-28T09:55:00.000-06:002013-02-28T09:55:20.970-06:00Peter's snugglesPeter is very...<i>loving</i>. Of the oldest 3, he is definitely the most affectionate. I find this ironic - I guess because men tend to not be so lovey dovey? I'll take it though. I cherish each of his <strike>smothers</strike> cuddles because I figure that one day they will stop. <br />
<br />
Last week everyone was sitting around the table. I was sitting on the couch, nursing Paul. So I observed this from the other room. They were all eating dinner, talking about events in the day or whatever was generally on their mind. I heard William tell Peter that he thought Ruth might be feeling a bit left out - since most of his affection has gone to Paul. <br />
<br />
Pete<i>r</i> couldn't have this, so he immediately got up and went over to Ruth and began giving her big huge squishy hugs. Whatever it was that William observed to cause him to make this comment - he was spot on. Ruth giggled her high pitched delighted squeal she does when she is absolutely ecstatic. Peter hugged and hugged her. Normally - after a moment she shoves him away. But this time she just giggled as he hugged her. It was so incredibly sweet - those kind of moments that makes a Mama Heart melt.<br />
<br />
We've had a lot of snow lately. In fact, this has been a record breaking amount of snow within a month...<i>ever</i>. And we received it all over a total of 4 days. 14 inch over 2 of those days with a break, then another 6 or so over another 2 days. The kids were going stir crazy. Monday the roads weren't really bad and so I sent all the kids to the daycare. (School had been cancelled for Rebekah.) After a week of mostly being at home - I felt getting out of the house was something they needed and I couldn't really provide them by myself. <br />
<br />
When they walked in the door that afternoon I asked Rebekah how her day was. "GREAT!" she exclaimed. She went on to tell me that she had to be in Peter's class. (Normally school agers are in a separate class. However, attendance was pretty low for the center overall.) I asked if she got to be a helper - and she said she did. "The only bad thing was that Peter kept hugging me ALL DAY LONG! It was SOOOO annoying!!!" she exclaimed as she waived her hands around for emphasis. <br />
<br />
I chuckled a bit and replied "Oh - you loved it. Admit it!"<br />
<br />
She smiled and looked down at her feet a moment. "Well yeah..."<br />
<br />
My kids not only love each other, but they have a strong desire to BE loved by one another. I find this fascinating, as it isn't something I experienced in my family. I know Ruth and Rebekah have a pretty good relationship right now, but I often worry about Peter and Rebekah's. Peter is so focused on his younger siblings, that he simply <i>knows</i> Rebekah is there. He looks to her for guidance and as a role model - but she doesn't see it. She just sees him smothering the other two. And I think she feels left out sometimes.<br />
<br />As a mom, I have been attempting to teach Peter how to LOVE his sisters...even his older one. I hope the lessons stick well enough that someday when he grows up, he will understand how to make his wife feel loved and cherished. :-)<br />
<br />
(By the same token, I am trying to teach the girls how to respect Peter - since that is the language that speaks to men.)<br />
<br />
And in the meantime - Peter continues to hug Paul every 2 minutes. The other day William asked Peter to go 30 min without squashing Paul. He lasted about 3.5 minutes.Miriamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09496039555905209214noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1369093889959690648.post-30088658892651229892013-02-26T12:40:00.000-06:002013-02-27T07:48:10.000-06:00Birth story for Paul: The actual birthSo <a href="http://namingtheclouds.blogspot.com/2013/02/birth-story-for-paul-beginning.html" target="_blank">last time</a> I left off, I was waiting in the car. Our dear friend, <a href="http://momswhohomeschool.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">Jan</a>, showed up.<br />
<br />
By the time she showed up, I was in a bit of a panic. Between the blood (I hadn't seen that with the other 3...although 2 of them don't really count since they were induced!) and the doctor asking me when I had last felt the baby move...I started to wonder if everything was ok. I was keeping it cool on the outside, but on the inside I was a mess. I just wanted to be hooked up the monitors and hear the little heart beat. <br />
<br />
I did make William call her once to find out how far away she was. If she was far enough, I thought I'd go ahead and load up the kids (I had made the older two get dressed just in case) and have her meet us at the hospital if need be. But I was trying to be patient. I didn't want to alarm the kids at all. I told William a few times I was worried. I think I said exactly..."I'm trying to not panic, but I'm worried about the safety of the baby." And he didn't know why and I didn't explain - mostly because I didn't want HIM to panic. :-)<br />
<br />
So I sat in the car and waited, quietly praying.<br />
<br />
Jan finally arrived and I had never been so happy to see someone arrive. William told her a few things (we had food to donate for a drive this morning...things that HAD to go to church that day or they would be useless!) and we were off.<br />
<br />
Jan told me later that she had been there for awhile when Peter looked up from his game and said "Hey, why are YOU here?" (We had told him.) I thought that was funny - clearly he wasn't paying attention to us! And he hadn't even noticed us leaving. Obviously I didn't panic the kids either.<br />
<br />
As William pulled out I said "Don't take Central. Take Kellogg! Don't drive like a grandpa. But don't drive crazy either. Get us to the hospital safely and quickly!" He was rather compliant though and didn't get mad at my rather poignant instructions. :-) (I don't normally give him driving instructions and normally me doing so would just make him mad. But of course we weren't in a normal situation either!) We even passed up a cop who was out with his radar. I'd say that was a win.<br />
<br />
We arrived and I walked in. <br />
<br />
I'd like to take a moment to reiterate that I was pretty calm. I spoke calmly to the receptionist. I filled out paperwork. After a couple sheets I told her "I'm feeling light headed. This will have to be the last one standing up." William actually took over filling out paperwork from there, asking me a few questions here and there.<br />
<br />
"When was the last time you felt the baby move?"<br />
"Last night around 11 PM." <br />
<br />
The receptionist was over there in a flash. "You haven't felt the baby move since last night?" I replied that I hadn't.<br />
<br />
She hurried back to her desk and got on the phone speaking in a low voice. "Yes, she hasn't felt the baby move since last night." I heard her tell someone.<br />
<br />
This didn't help my worries any.<br />
<br />
William finished up the paperwork and turned it in. It suddenly dawned on me that I hadn't taken a belly shot yet. I had been meaning too - it was on my list of stuff to get done. I pulled out my camera and told William to take one there. So he did.<br />
<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHSwaIJid7gbybWqYy6W8lDQwy1ufgoE5mL2lRw2h8Fdk6jzA6op5rQBZz0l018ygT-_Yj7ElXFgHsz3U8zclxJG7ghv7qtvmMX-DpPXJKbYtfJ_SbrYZEQGCk3iUCQnuhFNjqgVAWhA8/s1600/DSC02274.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHSwaIJid7gbybWqYy6W8lDQwy1ufgoE5mL2lRw2h8Fdk6jzA6op5rQBZz0l018ygT-_Yj7ElXFgHsz3U8zclxJG7ghv7qtvmMX-DpPXJKbYtfJ_SbrYZEQGCk3iUCQnuhFNjqgVAWhA8/s320/DSC02274.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">About an hour before Paul was born!</td></tr>
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<br />
I had planned on standing for my belly shot - but I was exhausted...and I wasn't interested in standing. Plus I sat down for a reason to begin with. So a sit down shot it was.<br />
<br />
A nurse came back. "So you haven't felt the baby move since last night?" I again told her no. So she walked me back to a room. I got into the classic hospital nightgown (to which she reminded me to leave my underwear off...that always cracks me up...do some women really forget?) and she hooked me up.<br />
<br />
<i>Thump thump thump thump thump thump thump</i>...<br />
<br />
It was music to my hears. I immediately felt at ease and relaxed. She hooked up the contraction monitor. "Wow! You are having a lot of contractions! What would you rate your pain at this moment?"<br />
<br />
Well...they had certainly gotten more intense. I thought about it a moment and told her 3. Then we discussed an epidural. She asked me if I wanted to go ahead and get one. I remembered Ruth's birth - how things went quickly when they started ramping up. I told her I'd like to go ahead and get one. They usually take an hour, so I wanted to make sure there was time.<br />
<br />
Order of details are a little fuzzy. So I may have mixed some things up. All these events happened - just perhaps not in this order. But this is how I remember them through the fog.<br />
<br />
My doctor came in and we spoke for a few minutes. He said if I didn't think there was time for an epidural we could do something else. I shrugged my shoulders - I really didn't know how much time we had. He smiled and said "Ready to have this baby?"<br />
<br />
Well ready or not...<br />
<br />
Everyone had stepped out for a moment. It was just William and I in the room. "Should I call my parents?" he asked.<br />
<br />
Believe it or not - I was still in a bit of denial.<br />
<br />
"Well, let's see how things go." <i>I'm not sure I'm staying...</i>I thought to myself.<br />
<br />
A few moments passed (I don't really have a good grasp on time at this point to be honest) and then...my water broke. It was the first time I've ever experienced my water breaking naturally. With the other 3 it was broken by the doctor. The sensation - well it was fascinating. It was so powerful that not only did I feel it but I <i>heard</i> it. The 'pop' and then 'woosh'. This is as best as I can describe it. I know I didn't literally hear it - but it was really that intense of a feeling. Not painful in anyway shape or form. <br />
<br />
The nurse walked back in and I smiled at her. "I believe my water just broke!" I told her.<br />
<br />
She hadn't checked me yet anyway so she took the time to do so. "Uh...yeah your water broke. And you are a 6!" she said.<br />
<br />
Another nurse started getting my IV in. "Oh I feel nauseous!" I said. The nurse started to tell me it was normal to feel that way. "No no! I'm about to throw up!" They gave me a tub just in time. I'm glad - because I already felt gross from my water breaking. I told William to go ahead and call his parents..."BUT NO CHIT CHAT! Make it quick!" I told him.<br />
<br />
<br />
This folks is a record - he made the call and talked to them for a sum total of 2 minutes.<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<br />
From this point, the contractions really started to kick into high gear. It didn't take long for my pain level to shoot from that measly 3 straight to an 8. I made mention of this to the nurse. "Yes, since you water broke there is no cushion!"<br />
<br />
The anesthesiologist came in. I actually didn't realize that was who this person was for quite some time. By 'quite some time' I mean...that night in the quiet of my room as I thought about the events of the day. To me it was just some medical person. She began asking me a zillion questions. I had to defer to William to answer them at this point because it was rather difficult to talk through those pain-level-8 contractions. I did hear someone tell someone else I that I was 'contracting like crazy'. I'd agree with this assessment.<br />
<br />
She finally had me get on my side - no small task. Then scoot to the edge of the bed - again, no small task. Then of course she asked me to curl into a ball.<br />
<br />
Yeah - that was impossible. <br />
<br />
A nurse helped me curl up enough for the anesthesiologist...when all of a sudden I felt it. I recognized the sensation from Ruth's birth. (I hadn't felt it with Peter or Rebekah for some reason.) This was...<i>transition</i>. "FORGET THE EPIDURAL! THIS BABY IS COMING!" I shouted. This sent everyone into a scurry.<br />
<br />
I was actually focused on <i>not pushing</i>. I wanted to wait for my doctor. But quite frankly - there are simply some things that you cannot control. This would be one of them. So a push, an involuntary "AHHHH" (seriously...I couldn't help it?) and then I blurted out "I'm so sorry!"<br />
<br />
I'm still on my side at this point.<br />
<br />
I hear in the background "Get the doctor! He's in the building!" I hear them mention this several times. "Yes please get him!" I'm thinking. <br />
<br />
Whenever you are about to have a baby - it is absolutely amazing how the room fills up with all kinds of people that you don't know and have never seen. I have no idea what half of them were for. When Ruth was born - it happened pretty quick too. And the room was much emptier because no one had time to get in there. So just the absolutely essential people were there. My doctor, a nurse or two and really not many more.<br />
<br />
This time...well...it went even faster. The room consisted of 3 nurses and William.<br />
<br />
"YOU NEED TO ROLL OVER!" someone told me. Why yes - that made sense. Whoever heard of delivering a baby on your side? There was another involuntary push - and then the head was out. I can't recall if I rolled over on my side before or after this.<br />
<br />
But the relief...oh the sweet relief. Once his little head was out the pain was all but gone. "Just one more push and this baby will be born!" someone told me. I actually did wonder why not wait another moment...the doctor still hadn't arrived. But I pushed as instructed.<br />
<br />
The sensation of having the baby without an epidural...well, indescribable. There are simply no words. But it is something I hope to never forget.<br />
<br />
I worried for a moment if the baby was caught properly - but it was only a moment.<br />
<br />
"It's a BOY!" someone said. <br />
<br />
"I just gave birth without an epidural?" was all I could think...<i>and say</i>. No really - I said that out loud. There was some laughter in the room and a "Yes you did! You did great!"<br />
<br />
How faithful God is.<br />
<br />
I was later told that I had been hooked up to the monitors at 8:15. Paul Edward was born at 8:55 AM weighing in at 8 lb 1 oz and 20 inches tall. <br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPLBjU9b84w21cFhteKcqptdTEcXPSgZP_7OG6MoFaSb4t-QXnte8pMJJFkG20XP7q51w4dvsYR4SPmWp-cGpFRt29NiZT6cblCK5yobMSYOqhlekKNniBLIPm-slbQGn1a68I9G44Zlk/s1600/DSC02275.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPLBjU9b84w21cFhteKcqptdTEcXPSgZP_7OG6MoFaSb4t-QXnte8pMJJFkG20XP7q51w4dvsYR4SPmWp-cGpFRt29NiZT6cblCK5yobMSYOqhlekKNniBLIPm-slbQGn1a68I9G44Zlk/s320/DSC02275.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Skin to skin! This hospital was pretty big on that!<br />
Part of my dismissal instructions even included doing <br />
skin to skin an hour a day!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
The doctor rushed in (William said he was a bit out of breath, so he had been running - I honestly didn't notice), checked me out, apologized for missing the birth (profusely) and gave me a couple stitches. <br />
<br />
For the rest of the day every nurse that came in my room made comments about how I had a crazy morning. Things like "I heard you had quite the morning!" It was mentioned so much all day long, I got the picture I must have been the water cooler gossip for the day. I could only imagine what was said, but it didn't really matter to me. The comments were all made with a smile and a glint in the eye. I don't think it is every day a woman walks in, gives birth sans epidural and doctor. :-P<br />
<br />
Next up: Kids meet the new baby!<br />
<br />Miriamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09496039555905209214noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1369093889959690648.post-24589628303293464722013-02-21T12:40:00.001-06:002013-02-21T13:15:20.745-06:00Birth story for Paul: The beginning<i>Fair warning - there will be details not for the squimish. :-)</i><br />
<br />
I was planning on the birth of this baby happening later. I figured I had at least until 39 wks. And so that is pretty much where I was at. Saturday I spent sorting clothes trying to find all the baby clothes. I planned on washing them and then putting them away - girl clothes in one drawer, boy in another. I didn't get to the washing part. This activity pretty much exhausted me. I had planned on getting laundry done on Sunday...<br />
<br />
Plans plans plans. So Sunday William was going to lead worship (the regular leader was sick). I was going to teach Sunday school. I had planned on lunch with a friend. William was going to go golfing. I was most worried about the lunch with the friend. She's <i>great</i>...but I've been so tired that taking all 3 kids out by myself (even though my friend is SO VERY helpful!) seemed like a huge task. All I could think about was how I'd need a nap afterwards! :-)<br />
<br />
Those were the plans just for Sunday. I had plans on Monday with the kids (Rebekah was out of school). I had plans at work of a few things I really wanted to get done before my leave.<br />
<br />
The doctor appointment that Wednesday the doctor joked we ought to schedule the next appointment, because he didn't want to 'jinx anything'. So I half jokingly told my coworkers "ANY DAY NOW!". Really, I thought I still had another week or so. *sigh* That is what I get for thinking!<br />
<br />
So...I had plans. <br />
<br />
Sunday morning at 2 AM Ruth got up. This isn't unusual for her. I swap between making William get out of bed and simply doing it myself. (Sometimes it takes more effort to make William...but there is a certain principle there too! :-) ) He has been battling a cold, so I chose to do it myself and let him sleep. I simply marched her back to bed and took the opportunity to pee - hoping I'd sleep soundly the rest of the night. As I snuggled back in bed, I realized I was uncomfortable. I laid there awhile trying to figure out why I was uncomfortable. I realized I had some braxton's going on. I waited for them to settle down and they didn't. So I got up and drank a cup of water and walked around a bit. I tried laying down again. I simply couldn't fall asleep.<br />
<br />
<i>Dear Lord, please make these go away!</i> I prayed. <i>I have a big day tomorrow and the last thing I want is to be tired!</i><br />
<br />
He replied. God and I had the following conversation...<br />
<br />
G: Yeah, you do have a big day. You are having this baby.<br />
Me: What? God do you realize I have a lot going on at work?<br />
G: Yep. But it will work out. Work always does.<br />
Me: I have stuff to take care of in prep for the baby!<br />
G: Yeah - and what <i>isn't</i> done that can't wait?<br />
Me: [thinking a moment] I never got that hospital paperwork mailed in.<br />
G: I'm pretty sure they will take you anyway.<br />
Me: What about Rebekah's concert?<br />
G: Who are you kidding? You know you'll be ready to go by then. That is a week away. Hey - it was just earlier you were blogging about Proverbs 3:6. Remember that?<br />
Me: [silence] .... SO?<br />
G: It will work out. I worked out all that other stuff. Why wouldn't I work <i>this</i> out? And look - Rebekah is off school Mon and Tues. That will give her some time to hang out with the new addition!<br />
Me: [silence] ...<br />
G: Don't you need to pack that bag? You should probably get on that...<br />
<br />
I laid there for a few more minutes..hoping the contractions would simply stop. But I knew they wouldn't. So I got up and out of bed. I turned on a lamp in our room (which William didn't wake up for), pulled out the suit case (making a huge thump sound...which William didn't wake for) and started packing. <br />
<br />
BTW - if I had to do it over again...I'd pack some electronic entertainment for me. That was one thing I wished I had.<br />
<br />
Anyway. I then went and filled out the hospital pre-registration because it was simply something I could control. I wondered if there was something else I should take care of...but I couldn't really think of anything. I had thought about throwing in some laundry, but to be honest walking hurt and was incredibly uncomfortable. So I went and laid back down. <br />
<br />
It was about here (3 AM) that William happened to wake up. Oh - lights were left on this entire time. HA! "Hey, what's up?" he said as he realized lights were on and...there was a suit case at the end of the bed.<br />
<br />
"Oh, I've had a few contractions here and there. I'm having a little trouble sleeping...no big deal." I said nonchalantly.<br />
<br />
"Oh really?" he said - eyeing the suit case at the end of the bed.<br />
<br />
"Yeah - since you are up...I was thinking we might want time time them to see if they are regular at all. We could perhaps use my phone..." <br />
<br />
So William got up and grabbed my phone...and then we downloaded a stopwatch app that actually ended up being pretty cool. It was easy to see that I was having contractions every 1-2 min and they were lasting 30-60 seconds or so. <br />
<br />
And this kept up for an hour.<br />
<br />
"How long has this been going on?" <br />
<br />
"Oh - since about 2 AM."<br />
<br />
"I see."<br />
<br />
"I think they are braxton hicks though."<br />
<br />
"Uh huh. Perhaps you should drink some water?"<br />
<br />
"I did that." <br />
<br />
"I see."<br />
<br />
We hung out for about an hour, when I decided since I couldn't sleep, perhaps I'd watch some TV. So William and I went and finished a show we didn't finish the night before. We started to watch another one - but I fell asleep. When I woke up I thought "THERE! They went awa..." Yeah...no they didn't.<br />
<br />
A kid got up so William went and laid back down with Peter who wandered upstairs. I sat on the love seat a few minutes. I thought perhaps I could take a shower before the inevitable. Having an orderly start to my day just seemed...<i>nice</i>. <br />
<br />
Yes, thoughts and plans <i>are</i> nice.<br />
<br />
I hopped in the shower and hoped I'd be able to make it through. Sitting, I was fine. Standing was another story. It wasn't long before I got light headed and felt like I needed to sit down. I squatted in the shower to regain my composure. I looked down and saw some blood.<br />
<br />
Yep. Time.<br />
<br />
So I called for William and told him he needed to call our dear friends to come on over and to bring me my phone so I can call my doctor. I put the initial call in, brushed my teeth and started to get dressed. My doctor called me back and I explained I had been having contractions since 2 that were simply not going away. I said I had some (what appeared to me) as heavy bleeding.<br />
<br />
"Uh huh ok. And when did you feel the baby move last?"<br />
<br />
Hmmm...it had been awhile. I quoted 11 - because that was when I went to bed. I wasn't entirely sure other than I recalled sitting on the love seat pointing to my belly and showing William how it was moving around. "Should I be worried? With all the blood and everything?"<br />
<br />
"Well, let's get to the hospital and see. How long will it take you to get there?" <br />
<br />
I wasn't worried at first, but the longer it took us to get out the door the more scenarios ran through my head. I was anxious to get to the hospital and hear the heart beat of this little baby.<br />
<br />
We waited for our friend to arrive...I waited in the car. :-P I wanted to be ready to go.<br />
<br />
At this point, I wouldn't say I was in a ton of pain. Walking was very much uncomfortable and obviously I couldn't stand for long. Bending over wasn't really happening either - I had to have William tie my shoes. I was disappointed I didn't get a full shower in, but I did feel better that I at least got to rinse off a bit. (I didn't make it to using soap...lol.)<br />
<br />
Part 2: The hospital arrival and birth :)<br />
<br />
<br />Miriamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09496039555905209214noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1369093889959690648.post-54877809312883424672013-02-14T18:56:00.000-06:002013-02-14T18:56:14.895-06:00Don't mind the obsessed pregnant lady...I can be a bit obsessive when I'm pregnant. I mean, I'm a planner anyway. But when I'm pregnant...I seem to focus in on planning times 10. It is crazy really (but we all know pregnant women are crazy...I know this...). I've been trying this time around to NOT do this.<br />
<br />
This month has been crazy. Work has been crazy. Home has been crazy. And of course...as previously mentioned...I'm already crazy. <br />
<br />
For work - I've been trying to get some things wrapped up. I'm starting to realize I need to simply LET GO. Of course it isn't easy - but I've been TRYING to be pickier about what I focus my time on.<br />
<br />
For home - I've had a lot of appointments. I had one sick kid visit, one well kid visit and I still have an eye dr appt. Add in valentines...and honestly it means a lot of missed work. Work hasn't minded...but that doesn't mean *I* don't mind. After all...I'm already feeling a burden at work to get some things wrapped up. Vicious cycle really.<br />
<br />
Monday was P's well child visit. I hadn't even actually SEEN the time, because it was actually rescheduled via phone. I had asked them the previous week when it was. I had heard them say it twice on the phone. I had notes that said "2:50". I waltzed into the appointment, beaming really, because not only had I made it on time...but I was <i>early</i>. The lady looked at me and said "You missed the appointment." <br />
<br />
"Beg your pardon?" <br />
"Yes, you missed your appointment. It was at 2:15. I don't think the doctor can see you now."<br />
[Me panicking]<br />
<br />
We received a letter in the mail saying our doctor was leaving the practice. I surmised he was retiring. He's an older gentleman. My main question for him was simply...WHICH of these doctor's do you recommend the most? I didn't know if I'd get a real answer, but I thought it was worth asking. The doctor had about a month left and was taking some time off too. Plus...the baby will be here very soon.<br />
<br />
"We have an opening March 4th."<br />
"This baby is due March 6th. I don't think that is a good idea."<br />
<br />
I'll give her credit. I told her I wanted to see the doc before he left and preferably before this baby is born. She made it happen with some finagling. I really <i>really</i> appreciate that.<br />
<br />
The only downside was that the appointment was scheduled for Thursday. "Sure - NO PROBLEM!" I said with a sigh of relief that everything was going to be ok.<br />
<br />
On the way out the car...it dawned on me. Thursday...<i>February 14th</i>...VALENTINES DAY!!! Parties! Commitments! This was NO GOOD!<br />
<br />
I was pretty upset with myself.<br />
<br />
But I knew I didn't have much choice. <i>Dear Lord</i>, I prayed,<i> please figure this out for me. I can't. But I'm SO SAD that this is working out this way!</i><br />
<br />
I emailed Rebekah's teacher and told her I wouldn't make it. Then I did a little searching for a game idea and I sent it to her. She loved it.<br />
<br />
Thursday came and I took off from work. A very busy and hectic day at work. <br />
<br />
First, I found out my doctor was not retiring (as I had surmised). He was relocating and would be opening his own practice. AND we'd get to KEEP HIM! HOORAY! Best news all day.<br />
<br />
We also got done in time for Peter to attend his party. He didn't really miss out on any activities.<br />
<br />
I received an email from Rebekah's teacher telling me the game was a HUGE HIT with the kids. While I would have loved to have seen it, providing the game made me feel just as warm and fuzzy.<br />
<br />
Ruth lost her balloon (which she adored) but William saved the day by stopping and getting a new one for her on the way home.<br />
<br />
When I reflect on my day, Proverbs 3:6 comes to mind.<br />
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.<br /><br />~ <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Proverbs%203:5-6&version=NIV" target="_blank">Proverbs 3:5-6 (NIV)</a> </blockquote>
<br />
My path doesn't get much straighter than that. Miriamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09496039555905209214noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1369093889959690648.post-48645870465363327902013-02-13T20:17:00.000-06:002013-02-13T20:17:00.195-06:00Ms. Sassy RuthieRuth has excellent verbal skills. She has been speaking full sentences for awhile now and she is pretty understandable. There are still times where it is hard to tell what she is saying - but she is pretty patient in guiding you through it.<br />
<br />
William often says he wonders if she thinks were twits or something. Because sometimes when you don't understand something she stares at you blankly...<i>nonverbally</i> communicating "I have no idea why you aren't getting this." :-P<br />
<br />
So I have a few funny stories that have made me giggle lately.<br />
<br />
Ruth likes to run around and/or play musical chairs at the dinner table. We are really trying hard to put a stop to it. It leads to her being hungry later on because she is too busy playing to eat. So a few days ago William looked at her and said "Ruth, I need you to go sit down and eat please!" She thoughtfully looked at him, cocked her head and looked at the ceiling (clearing thinking) and then said..."Uhhhh...NO!" and ran off. William grabbed her, put her in the corner where she stayed there entirely too happy. "Ok, you can come out now!" he said. She replied "No thanks. I not done!"<br />
<br />
Yesterday morning she pulled out half the diapers looking for the <i>perfect</i> diaper to wear. She does this nearly every morning. William sighed and said "Ruthie, I need you to clean up your diapers please!" Ruth looked at the mess, looked at William then said "Nah. <i>You</i> do it!" It is so hard to NOT laugh when a 2 yo is talking back. Really. I was later retelling this story to her daycare teacher and she laughed and said Ruth did the same thing to her earlier that day. I suppose Ruth is seeing how much she can get away with it. ;-) (In <i>both</i> instances she was made to clean up her messes!)<br />
<br />
Last night in the bath William picked up a bath toy. Ruth said "That's mine!" William pointed to her and said "HEY!" She pointed right back and said "Leave it alone!"<br />
<br />
And lastly...last night we were cuddled up on the couch. William asked what time it was - strangely we don't have a clock in our living room. I have one on my kindle, we have them on our phones...if you press a button on the TV you can see what time it is...but there isn't a clock 'just there'. Anyway! I reached over for my phone and told him. "Alright kids - you have about 5 more minutes and then it is bedtime!" We all went back to watching TV. A few minutes later Ruth looks up at me and says "What time is it?" "7:43" I replied. She said "Oh ok." It actually wasn't bed time just yet - and she behaved as if she knew it.<br />
<br />
Sometimes I forget that Ruth is really just 2.Miriamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09496039555905209214noreply@blogger.com0