Saturday, February 6, 2010

The ILs a visitin'

My ILs are visiting this weekend.  They were supposed to come last weekend, but it snowed.  That appears to be the standard story for them this winter.  (Funny - William and I have been married almost 11 years and this is the first winter EVER they have had to post-pone a trip...let alone TWO!)

I don't have any pictures or anything, but I thought I would reflect on my relationship with my ILs for a few minutes before beginning the cat herd process for dinner.

I love my ILs.  First, there is my brother-in-law Thomas.  He's a sweet (single) fella and great with the kids.  They adore their Uncle Thomas!  And when R was younger...he didn't come a few times...Rebekah spent the entire visit asking for him.  (He's come ever since!)  I anticipate some day he will in fact move to Wichita, even though that may not be in his plans right now.  But I anticipate it.  :-)  Funnily enough...a few weeks back I had a vision of Thomas up in front at church playing with the worship team.  It was just a glimpse, no details or anything.  This was amazing on so many levels (first, he doesn't live up here; second he is not Christian and is uncomfortable in churches).  I told William about it.  William responded "Miriam, he is looking to buy a house down there. He is NOT going to move up here!"  This left me thinking...was it a vision?  Or hopeful wishing?  Sometimes the two can be confused.

About 2 days later, Thomas called to tell William that his company is closing its doors and he is going back to school to become an R.N.

I just smiled...ear to ear.  Beaming really.  I think he'd make a great R.N.  He has a compassion for people that is deeply rooted into his being.  This is something you can't manufacture or pretend away. 

Then there is my lovely mother-in-law, Linda.  She is sweet and very hard working.  The woman doesn't understand the meaning of 'sit down and relax'.  She just goes goes goes.  After both kids were born, she spent time with us to help out...and she IS helpful.  She even attempted cooking some of the dishes I had planned out, which were not her normal cooking fair.  I'm sure it was out of her comfort zone to cook a dish that she didn't normally cook in a kitchen that did not belong to her.  She is always wondering what she can do to help, and of the 3, she is the one who has taken the time to attempt to get to know me best.  I wouldn't say that she does...but she does try to talk to me frequently which I appreciated.  She sometimes has some listening issues...which can be SO frustrating sometimes.  But for me this is expected.

I say this, because I am the type of person who if I spend time with any one person TOO much (William being the one and only exception), I get tired of them.  At one time, I believed I would never marry for this reason.  So when you take a person like that, and throw them into a situation where the spend a complete weekend with someone else (in the same house - no personal space) over and over and over and over again...frustration is bound to happen.  It has been worse since the kids were born...but she does try.  I can see she does, which I appreciate.  So I reciprocate by trying to not get frustrated. :-P

Then there is father-in-law Billy.  I'll be honest, I don't know him very well.  I know at one time he thought I didn't like him.  Before William and I were married, when I would visit...I'd end up taking my shower during Billy's lunch time.  It wasn't on purpose...just the timing of things.  So once I found that out, I made an effort to NOT take my showers during that time.

Billy is a quiet fella that is pretty slow to anger.  I've only ever seen him angry once...and it upset William pretty bad.  William still won't talk about this particular topic.  So you can tell from this, William also greatly respects his dad.  I admire that.  I really do, in a way.  The off-limits topic is frustrating, BUT the respect is admirable.  (I'll again be honest...while I do have a form of respect for my parents, it very different from the respect William has for his.)

I'd write more...but I don't know more about him.  He also can frustrate me for all the same reasons that Linda does, but isn't really completely all his fault for all the same reasons listed above.

And now, you know everything that I know about my ILs.  We've never lived close to them.  They are a quiet people. So it makes it tough to become buddy buddy with a quiet people. begin the cat herding...I will say...I don't know how these guys ever agreed on a meal or even bothered to eat before I came along!

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