I have a quirk. Whenever I'm in an amusement park and decide to go on a roller coaster, I often panic as I approach the coaster. My anxiety go sky high and it is sort of comical to an outsider to watch. (Ok - it amuses William!) My fear can be overwhelming and I press forward because I know that I will enjoy it in the end. Every single time I hop off, exclaim how fun it is and express the desire to do it again.
Tuesday William and I took a quick bike ride before going to get the kids. He happened to be home from work early and it was a beautiful day. I started my little app that tracks my exercise (tells me how far I've gone and such) and off we went.
When I got back we had gone 2.8 miles. That wasn't very far AT ALL. (It was just shy of a 15 min bike ride.) I then began to panic. It had seemed so much further! And then I got to thinking about how I would be going 3.1 on Saturday for this 5K. I questioned whether I can do it and whether I'd be able to finish. It really is the first time I've questioned myself.
Wed I went for a run. It was a horrible run. It was windy. I just couldn't seem to go. My legs felt like cement blocks. It was just plain horrible. With the combination of my previous concerns and the horrible run, I began to seriously question whether I would be able to do this 5K or not. And panic set in. Full fledged panic.
My roller coaster experience was glued to my head. I couldn't shake it. In fact, I had been chatting randomly about it with a friend last Friday, before any of this took place. I'm certain God plants ideas in our heads to encourage us when we need it.
Today was an absolute perfect day. 75. Slight breeze. Puffy clouds. Perfect. I was planning on going on a bike ride, but honestly my bum is still sore from the last bike ride. (I really need a new seat and intend to get one this weekend.) Then the Lord suggested I take a run. I complained. "Looooorrrrrdddd! My last run was horrible! I don't want to go again! I hate running!" Ever wonder if God get annoyed with our child-like behavior? He patiently again suggested I go on a run. I reluctantly agreed and began to think of my normal route. Then He again nudged me and suggested I take the few extra minutes to go over to the park next door. So I did.
It was tough in the beginning. I felt myself resisting and really wanting to just be lazy and not run at all. But soon the beauty of the day captured me. And I somehow managed to get into a rhythm. By the end of my run, I felt like I could have kept on going. It was an encouraging run.
And so I again feel confident in my run on Saturday. God knew just what I needed.