I've been thinking a lot these past couple days.
Last Thursday, I dutifully took my blood sugar after lunch. I had been good that day. It came back as 130. 2 hrs after eating, it is supposed to be under 120. And if I'm eating well, and it is 130...well that is just plain discouraging. Just a few weeks back I went to Olive Garden. 2 hrs later it was 134. You know...if I'm going to have to pick I'd choose Olive Garden...so it was really disheartening knowing that I had been good...and my blood sugar was not.
In addition, during the 2nd trimester, the pg women's need for insulin (the natural kind your body makes that keeps these numbers in checks) raises significantly. And it simply skyrockets at the beginning of the 3rd. A pregnant women needs as much as 10 times more insulin than a normal person. Hey, making a baby is hard work! It is a strain. If the blood sugar numbers aren't kept in check, there are two main side effects for babies. The first is they grow larger. This obviously causes a problem giving birth vaginally. This is why OB's won't let GD women go past their due dates (and why women with GD better be tracking their charts and argue their due dates with their doctors if they do not agree!). The second complication is that all the extra sugar in the blood is passed to the baby, causing the baby to produce more insulin than required (to manage it). When they are born, there is a sudden drop in this level, but they of course are still producing abnormal amounts of insulin leading to Hypoglycemia. Peter was born with this. It is a temporary condition but one that increases their chances of diabetes later in life.
Sometimes ignorance is bliss, you know?
This bleakness came on the tails of so much encouragement. I received my A1C and it was 5.1. That number was better than the one I had in January pre-pregnancy. How cool is THAT? I had gone back for my 2 wk follow up and my morning average number had lowered significantly.
It is important that we don't treat this encouragement as daily manna. Ya know - it isn't good for just today. It is good for tomorrow too! But sometimes that is so hard...to remember past the current moment. Especially when you are starring at numbers that say "130" when you know you've been eating well. Or this morning my morning number was 100. That is the highest I've ever seen it. I will admit...I ate a brownie last night. And a cookie. And God had a long talk with me about all of that this morning. No brownies or cookies or ice cream for me. Sometimes our miracles take a little sacrifice. I can sacrifice a brownie in the short term in exchange for no insulin in the long term. Choices right? Isn't that what I teach my kid about daily?
This morning I read Isaiah 6. I read it over and contemplated and prayed on it. I was a bit distracted through it, because my ILs were still here and rambling about the house. They don't understand quiet time or prayer, so it felt weird and awkward for me. Our house is too small to hide. This morning my time wasn't earth shattering or anything. It was a struggle. And on my drive to work God and I spoke about choices, sacrifice, and He reminded me of all the encouragement I had been given just this last week. He asked me what I was going to do with it. I told Him that he was bigger than my blood sugar monitor! :-) And I still believe Him. And I was going to be faithful, and work harder at passing up brownies/cookies/ice-cream.
When I came into work, a blog written by my real estate agent had an update. And guess what it was on? Isaiah 6! That is what caught my eye, the blurb quoting Isaiah 6. I recognized it and clicked to see what she had to say about it. You can read the full post here, but the thing that struck me was the bit about the robes and how kings would take pieces of robe from other kings of the wars they had won. A longer robe meant a more successful king. And how successful...how powerful must our king be if His robe fills His temple???
OH MY. Surely the Creator of all living things can follow through on His promise of no GD for me? Surely so? Why am I even fretting? Worrying? Why am I concerned? Because this was not my idea. My idea was no insulin for as long as possible...hoping for 20 wks. It was His idea for no insulin at all. I've always been a "take your medicine" kind of girl. I still am. But in this instance, God has called me to take a different road. And sometimes those roads are oh so hard to take.