Two years ago I was rather lonely. I felt like I didn't have very many friends in general - and certainly no one to call up and go hang out with. I thought about this regularly on my drive home...and it hurt my heart that I could be in a crowded room and feel SO lonely. I've felt this feeling so many times in my life and I often wondered why me? Why couldn't I be one of those people who had the same friends since kindergarten? Or someone who made friends easily?
I've never made friends easily and keeping friends has always been difficult. Some of it is me (and my particular harsh personality - something I'm constantly striving to overcome). Some of it isn't. And no matter the cause - knowing that you can be in a crowded room and no one knows/cares whether you are there or not will make even the most confident person feel like a loser.
One day it hit me - and this is a God thing - that instead of feeling sorry for myself I should DO something about it. I didn't really know where to start - so I started with church. I took the time to get to know various women from my church. I attended a Bible study and I organized group outings. I made every attempt to get there early and I injected myself in little circles of conversations and participated. (I still do these things.) And over time I got to know a few of them. I even count several of them as good friends.
I was thinking about this because at a lunch yesterday at the daycare William, Peter and I sat down at an empty table. Historically when I chose a table I ended up sitting alone. This particular day that wasn't the case! Another mom who's son is friends with mine sat down and we chatted...another friend and her son and husband also sat down. I said hello to several OTHER mom-acquaintances too! And yet another mom/son combo had wanted to join our table - but it was full. She joined us after one of the other families left!
On top of that - I received a special message from a special friend thanking me for being me, was invited to a hen-party (as William calls them) and I had so many lunch plans this week I actually burned through my weekly "allowance". It has been an interesting week.
I sat looking around at my full table, smiles from other tables flashed my way, thinking about the many friends I have. I thought about how different it is now and how full my life has become.
And it is true that the Lord will provide you with all that you need. Because He definitely knew that I needed some friends two years ago when I felt so terribly lonely. He has built into us to be social creatures relying on one another. I do sometimes think it is weird how He does that - but at least not only does God build needs into us for special purposes, but He provides for our needs........every last one of them.
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