Yesterday William and I celebrated our 16th anniversary with a date day. We actually did this for the first time 5 or so years ago...and loved it so much that we have been doing it ever since. We don't usually plan too heavily on the day - but we do kick around ideas. We always start with breakfast. Any time we can eat out in public without complete humiliation and embarrassment (i.e. kids), we absolutely do.
Because the "Bigs" (the older two kids) were out of school, we went ahead and paid to send them to the daycare. They only go a couple times a year and don't mind going too much. If nothing else - they love seeing the "Littles" there and brightening their day. But it freed us up to take one of the few working parent perks out there: 8 hr date day with little extra cost!
It was actually nice having all the kids in one spot. Makes drop off that much quicker.
We decided to go to Jimmy's Egg for breakfast. It turns on Fri around 8:00 in the morning is prime time elderly folks time. The place was full of old people.
We sat down and quickly discussed what to order. (We tend to order two things and split them at Jimmy's...) A waitress came by to ask our drinks, and I noticed two people getting up to leave just behind her. A "younger" man (60s) - was helping an elderly woman (90s) get up to leave. First he pulled the table away from her a bit then steadied her as she stood. While she held onto to the table he wrapped a shaw around her shoulders and hair. Then he placed her purse over her head and helped her arm through the strap. I was struck by the devotion and love that came from this man as he hepled her. My guess was the man was her son and he was taking her out so she could be out and about a little.
I sat there and though about my future and wondered how I'd end up - if my kids would be around to take me to breakfast now and then.
We ordered our breakfast and William and I soon turned the conversation to our daily plans. The table next to us sat 3 more elderly people. At one point, the wife of one of them two gentleman started getting on to him. Apparently they were missing silverware and she asked "DID YOU JUST TAKE HIS [referring to William] SILVERWARE?" William started laughing and said "The nerve!" and then pointed out the basket full of silverware behind his head. They all laughed a bit - particularly at the fact she would apparently think her husband would do such a thing.
Back to discussing daily plans, I pulled out my phone and pulled up TripAdvisor to see if there was anything new around town to do. As I started looking the accused silverware thief from the other table said "Hey! Hey! Do you know what WPA stands for?"
Deep in thought trying to get TripAdvisor open, I shook him off. "No sir I don't."
He waved his hand after me and said "Can't you use THAT THING???"
"OH!" I replied. "Yeah. I guess I can do that!" And William made a joke about having a computer right there in my hand - seems I could give the information to the man. I opened up Google and typed up "WPA". "Wireless Protected Access" I said. I looked over and the 3 of them starred at me. "Wire-what?" The accused silverware thief replied, his head crinkled in confusion.
I suddenly realized my audience and repeatedly slowly what I had said...all the while wondering why they cared about such a thing.
They all shook their heads..."No..." he replied. "This would be from the 1930's..."
"OH!" I said again. William is completely laughing at this point. "Let me look again." I used my Google prowess to determine they were referring to "Works Progress Administration" - a government organization whose purpose was to put people back to work during the Great Depression.
They all nodded in approval and went back to their conversation.
A few minutes later the silverware theif hopped up from his chair and stood next to our table. "That organization was important. I was born in 1931. My parents had no money and no food. The WPA put people back to work and handed out these rations that were just God-awful. But we ate them anyway."
As he talked a lot of thoughts were swimming around in my head. I thought about people today and their version of destitution. I'm pretty sure contemporary Americans' version of poor and 1930s version of poor are pretty different. I wondered if terrible rations were handed out these days - if people would be grateful.
Silverware thief sat back down, still talking. He mentioned he and his wife had been together for 65 years. 65 folks! They had been married almost longer than my father had been alive. William told them today was our 16th - and we both acknowledged it was no where near 65.
There was more banter and it was pleasant. I was reminded of my Great Aunt Dot and Uncle Jack. They reminded me so much of them - except a bit reverse. My Aunt Dot couldn't hear worth a hoot - but it seemed it was the husband in this dynamic duo who had trouble hearing. They gave the waitresses a hard time, and in fact one of them sat down at one point at the table to read an article in a paper that he wanted to show her. It was clear they were regulars...and Jimmy's Egg was for this couple about like Bob Evans was for my Aunt and Uncle. (They went EVERY DAY.)
Memories swirled around in my head. The last time we visited, we had Rebekah. I was able to sit with my Aunt Dot. She could never hear me (she was tone deaf - and I spoke entirely too high), so I had been nervous about visiting with them without my parents. It was one of the best visits I had ever had. She went on and one about life when she was young. She told me about some of her and my grandmother's adventures, how she met Jack. I loved every minute of it.
As we said our goodbye's Aunt Dot quietly pressed money into my hands and hugged me. I tried to protest, but there was no arguing with her. "Gas money!" she said. I had been looking forward to the next time we'd come out and arranging a visit again. But it wasn't meant to be. It was the very last time I saw my beloved Aunt Dot. I hang onto the memory of that visit because really it is all I have of her left.
I told William I wanted to pay for Silverware Theif's breakfast - but they paid for themselves before we could tell a waitress. I pleaded with William, that they were clearly regulars. We could probably leave some money with one of the waitresses for them the next time they came in.
As they got up to leave he stopped by. "Have a good day!" we told him. "You too! Happy anniversary. Oh and - we paid for your meal."
I could just see my Aunt Dot and Uncle Jack standing before me. I'm not a crier people. I'm really not. I don't cry at movies, I didn't even really cry when my children were born. I didn't cry on my wedding day. I just don't cry.
Tears slipped down my cheek as they walked off.
When William and I are old and figure out our version of Bob Evans, I hope we can be a blessing as these folks clearly were to those around them. This encounter truly set the tone for the day - as we ran into many blessings throughout and talked about this all day long.
Showing posts with label Blessing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Blessing. Show all posts
Saturday, April 18, 2015
Wednesday, January 1, 2014
Mary and Martha: A lesson for the busy
I actually started this post back in August. But I never got around to finishing it...so I scrapped it and started over. And then I scrapped it again and started over again. And here it is New Year's and hopefully I can get it finished!
I've missed my blog. I enjoy writing. I've always thought I'd write a book someday, but in the meantime this little blog fills that void. I'd love to get back to it. But God has had other things in mind for my time lately. He has been busy teaching me about Mary and Martha.
For a long time I never understood Jesus' perspective here. After all, it wasn't that Martha was doing things she shouldn't. The house does need cleaned. Preparations do need to be made for the meal. There are many things that need done to keep the household moving. And in those days? I shudder to think of what laundry was like. Or meal prep. The invention of washer, dryers and refrigerators has done so much for the modern woman. Yet we are still so very busy.
The lesson began at the beginning of last summer. I had childcare lined up for my return to work, but it fell through. So I had to find new arrangements quickly. There were lots of unknowns (we had no idea what elementary school Peter was going to attend...for example) so making long term decisions became pretty hard. Normally I rely on God for such decisions - but I also have an idea of what His plans are. He remained mum on what His intent was for our family on many things. I had to live day by day.
Childcare arrangements for the summer were lined up pretty quick. This was a God thing. A friend needed a job and it so happened to work out. BUT...these arrangements were to last just until school started.
I normally spend a lot of time researching, visiting and such in order to find God's best. I rely on Him to show me the way, but I have always felt that we do have a duty to see what that is. But this summer - God told me to sit down and relax.
I'm not good at relaxing.
Or sitting for that matter.
School started and He cleared the way for many things. We settled on sending Paul to the daycare we use, as it was opening up a brand new baby room. There was a gap between when the summer care was going to end and when the infant room was going to open. I was able to work from home (WFH) while waiting for the daycare infant room to open up. I was SO BLESSED by this. I got to kick butt and take names at work while spending more time with my baby - more time than I had ever gotten to spend with any of the other kids. In fact, since my return to work I have had the distinct feeling of having baby Paul with me nearly ALL the time. Not the "I NEED A BREAK!" feeling. The "I'm getting to enjoy my baby more than ever!" feeling.
The infant room opened up and the birthday season passed - and for the first time ever I was cool as a cucumber. Sept/Oct tends to be crazy busy. The in laws tend to visit extra, birthday parties to plan and school activities all pile up - I promise myself every year I'm going to enjoy my kids' birthdays and every year I finish the season feeling stressed and wondering where the time went.
But this year - none of that happened.
So I have in fact been super busy. I've had many things to do and unending lists. But I found that time and time again, when I leaned on the Lord - everything got done.
This is how God operates. He's here in the midst of busy life and if we focus on Him, He makes the way available that everything that needs done is done.
When we stress ourselves and we are overwhelmed, the simple fact is we have taken on work that does not belong to us. God is sovereign. And that is a big word that a lot of people understand without really taking in the fully meaning. Since God is sovereign - He knows your day to day life. He knows what must be done and really what doesn't. He knows your life better than you do. And if you give these things to Him and let Him guide you even in the mundane day to day life - He will not steer you wrong. And what this ends up looking like is you starting out a Sunday afternoon yearning for a nap with a to-do list a mile long and ending the day feeling refreshed and ready for the week to start. All that is required of us is to let go.
And yes - He can hear those million reasons of why you can't. Everyone has them. I had them myself.
In the case of childcare search - if I didn't research how was I supposed to find His answer for me? Turns out since I didn't have time, God sent the answers knocking on my door. We all know faith is an action - and the action was simply opening up the door. "Oh hi! You want to watch my kid? SURE!" The action wasn't spending endless hours researching, touring and interviewing until *I* found the mystical answer.
In the case of countless TO DO lists - it meant I cut that list in half. For Rebekah's sleepover party, I bought a couple activities and a cake and called it done. The girls had SO MUCH FUN. I didn't have endless activities like last year. The party wasn't picture perfect - but life doesn't have to be to enjoy it. The girls hung out and entertained themselves. It was magical. The activities I did plan, Rebekah told me she wanted. So really - she planned her own party. I just picked up a few things. That is what it looks like to take a step back and let things go.
And now - this is a biggie - Christmas season just passed. As if that weren't enough, I had knee surgery and am working on healing from that. So it means I trust my husband to take care of some things that I actually like to take care of - and be nothing but GRATEFUL because that is what you are to another human being when they help you. Our Christmas went off without a hitch. My oven even died, but because the Lord has been teaching me these things I just shrugged my shoulders. It actually died at the perfect time (in between breakfast casserole and turkey cooking) and because of the way my day had worked out from the day before, I was in the kitchen to notice. My stove dying on the worst day of the year couldn't have worked out more perfectly. God was in that.
So in summation, Jesus is simply asking us to understand that yeah...stuff needs to be done. But don't put the busywork above relationships. Take it day by day. Each day is going to have a priority. Today, it might be to vacuum. The next day - it may be a much needed nap. And in the end, if you prioritize sitting at His feet soaking in His glory each and every day, everything else works out. God doesn't leave us hanging. And He is big enough to not only handle the BIG HUGE world problems - but He is able to ease the burdens of the stressed out.
I've missed my blog. I enjoy writing. I've always thought I'd write a book someday, but in the meantime this little blog fills that void. I'd love to get back to it. But God has had other things in mind for my time lately. He has been busy teaching me about Mary and Martha.
As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”
“Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”
~ Luke 10:38-42 (NIV)
For a long time I never understood Jesus' perspective here. After all, it wasn't that Martha was doing things she shouldn't. The house does need cleaned. Preparations do need to be made for the meal. There are many things that need done to keep the household moving. And in those days? I shudder to think of what laundry was like. Or meal prep. The invention of washer, dryers and refrigerators has done so much for the modern woman. Yet we are still so very busy.
The lesson began at the beginning of last summer. I had childcare lined up for my return to work, but it fell through. So I had to find new arrangements quickly. There were lots of unknowns (we had no idea what elementary school Peter was going to attend...for example) so making long term decisions became pretty hard. Normally I rely on God for such decisions - but I also have an idea of what His plans are. He remained mum on what His intent was for our family on many things. I had to live day by day.
Childcare arrangements for the summer were lined up pretty quick. This was a God thing. A friend needed a job and it so happened to work out. BUT...these arrangements were to last just until school started.
I normally spend a lot of time researching, visiting and such in order to find God's best. I rely on Him to show me the way, but I have always felt that we do have a duty to see what that is. But this summer - God told me to sit down and relax.
I'm not good at relaxing.
Or sitting for that matter.
School started and He cleared the way for many things. We settled on sending Paul to the daycare we use, as it was opening up a brand new baby room. There was a gap between when the summer care was going to end and when the infant room was going to open. I was able to work from home (WFH) while waiting for the daycare infant room to open up. I was SO BLESSED by this. I got to kick butt and take names at work while spending more time with my baby - more time than I had ever gotten to spend with any of the other kids. In fact, since my return to work I have had the distinct feeling of having baby Paul with me nearly ALL the time. Not the "I NEED A BREAK!" feeling. The "I'm getting to enjoy my baby more than ever!" feeling.
The infant room opened up and the birthday season passed - and for the first time ever I was cool as a cucumber. Sept/Oct tends to be crazy busy. The in laws tend to visit extra, birthday parties to plan and school activities all pile up - I promise myself every year I'm going to enjoy my kids' birthdays and every year I finish the season feeling stressed and wondering where the time went.
But this year - none of that happened.
So I have in fact been super busy. I've had many things to do and unending lists. But I found that time and time again, when I leaned on the Lord - everything got done.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight.
~ Proverbs 3:5-6One afternoon I had a fussy baby on my hands, piles of laundry and other things that need to be done. I was just plain tired and wishing for a nap. So I took one - me and the baby of course. I can't tell you how, but by that evening I was refreshed and looking around and found that everything had been done that needed to be done. Every last thing. It was amazing.
This is how God operates. He's here in the midst of busy life and if we focus on Him, He makes the way available that everything that needs done is done.
When we stress ourselves and we are overwhelmed, the simple fact is we have taken on work that does not belong to us. God is sovereign. And that is a big word that a lot of people understand without really taking in the fully meaning. Since God is sovereign - He knows your day to day life. He knows what must be done and really what doesn't. He knows your life better than you do. And if you give these things to Him and let Him guide you even in the mundane day to day life - He will not steer you wrong. And what this ends up looking like is you starting out a Sunday afternoon yearning for a nap with a to-do list a mile long and ending the day feeling refreshed and ready for the week to start. All that is required of us is to let go.
And yes - He can hear those million reasons of why you can't. Everyone has them. I had them myself.
In the case of childcare search - if I didn't research how was I supposed to find His answer for me? Turns out since I didn't have time, God sent the answers knocking on my door. We all know faith is an action - and the action was simply opening up the door. "Oh hi! You want to watch my kid? SURE!" The action wasn't spending endless hours researching, touring and interviewing until *I* found the mystical answer.
In the case of countless TO DO lists - it meant I cut that list in half. For Rebekah's sleepover party, I bought a couple activities and a cake and called it done. The girls had SO MUCH FUN. I didn't have endless activities like last year. The party wasn't picture perfect - but life doesn't have to be to enjoy it. The girls hung out and entertained themselves. It was magical. The activities I did plan, Rebekah told me she wanted. So really - she planned her own party. I just picked up a few things. That is what it looks like to take a step back and let things go.
And now - this is a biggie - Christmas season just passed. As if that weren't enough, I had knee surgery and am working on healing from that. So it means I trust my husband to take care of some things that I actually like to take care of - and be nothing but GRATEFUL because that is what you are to another human being when they help you. Our Christmas went off without a hitch. My oven even died, but because the Lord has been teaching me these things I just shrugged my shoulders. It actually died at the perfect time (in between breakfast casserole and turkey cooking) and because of the way my day had worked out from the day before, I was in the kitchen to notice. My stove dying on the worst day of the year couldn't have worked out more perfectly. God was in that.
So in summation, Jesus is simply asking us to understand that yeah...stuff needs to be done. But don't put the busywork above relationships. Take it day by day. Each day is going to have a priority. Today, it might be to vacuum. The next day - it may be a much needed nap. And in the end, if you prioritize sitting at His feet soaking in His glory each and every day, everything else works out. God doesn't leave us hanging. And He is big enough to not only handle the BIG HUGE world problems - but He is able to ease the burdens of the stressed out.
Thursday, February 14, 2013
Don't mind the obsessed pregnant lady...
I can be a bit obsessive when I'm pregnant. I mean, I'm a planner anyway. But when I'm pregnant...I seem to focus in on planning times 10. It is crazy really (but we all know pregnant women are crazy...I know this...). I've been trying this time around to NOT do this.
This month has been crazy. Work has been crazy. Home has been crazy. And of course...as previously mentioned...I'm already crazy.
For work - I've been trying to get some things wrapped up. I'm starting to realize I need to simply LET GO. Of course it isn't easy - but I've been TRYING to be pickier about what I focus my time on.
For home - I've had a lot of appointments. I had one sick kid visit, one well kid visit and I still have an eye dr appt. Add in valentines...and honestly it means a lot of missed work. Work hasn't minded...but that doesn't mean *I* don't mind. After all...I'm already feeling a burden at work to get some things wrapped up. Vicious cycle really.
Monday was P's well child visit. I hadn't even actually SEEN the time, because it was actually rescheduled via phone. I had asked them the previous week when it was. I had heard them say it twice on the phone. I had notes that said "2:50". I waltzed into the appointment, beaming really, because not only had I made it on time...but I was early. The lady looked at me and said "You missed the appointment."
"Beg your pardon?"
"Yes, you missed your appointment. It was at 2:15. I don't think the doctor can see you now."
[Me panicking]
We received a letter in the mail saying our doctor was leaving the practice. I surmised he was retiring. He's an older gentleman. My main question for him was simply...WHICH of these doctor's do you recommend the most? I didn't know if I'd get a real answer, but I thought it was worth asking. The doctor had about a month left and was taking some time off too. Plus...the baby will be here very soon.
"We have an opening March 4th."
"This baby is due March 6th. I don't think that is a good idea."
I'll give her credit. I told her I wanted to see the doc before he left and preferably before this baby is born. She made it happen with some finagling. I really really appreciate that.
The only downside was that the appointment was scheduled for Thursday. "Sure - NO PROBLEM!" I said with a sigh of relief that everything was going to be ok.
On the way out the car...it dawned on me. Thursday...February 14th...VALENTINES DAY!!! Parties! Commitments! This was NO GOOD!
I was pretty upset with myself.
But I knew I didn't have much choice. Dear Lord, I prayed, please figure this out for me. I can't. But I'm SO SAD that this is working out this way!
I emailed Rebekah's teacher and told her I wouldn't make it. Then I did a little searching for a game idea and I sent it to her. She loved it.
Thursday came and I took off from work. A very busy and hectic day at work.
First, I found out my doctor was not retiring (as I had surmised). He was relocating and would be opening his own practice. AND we'd get to KEEP HIM! HOORAY! Best news all day.
We also got done in time for Peter to attend his party. He didn't really miss out on any activities.
I received an email from Rebekah's teacher telling me the game was a HUGE HIT with the kids. While I would have loved to have seen it, providing the game made me feel just as warm and fuzzy.
Ruth lost her balloon (which she adored) but William saved the day by stopping and getting a new one for her on the way home.
When I reflect on my day, Proverbs 3:6 comes to mind.
My path doesn't get much straighter than that.
This month has been crazy. Work has been crazy. Home has been crazy. And of course...as previously mentioned...I'm already crazy.
For work - I've been trying to get some things wrapped up. I'm starting to realize I need to simply LET GO. Of course it isn't easy - but I've been TRYING to be pickier about what I focus my time on.
For home - I've had a lot of appointments. I had one sick kid visit, one well kid visit and I still have an eye dr appt. Add in valentines...and honestly it means a lot of missed work. Work hasn't minded...but that doesn't mean *I* don't mind. After all...I'm already feeling a burden at work to get some things wrapped up. Vicious cycle really.
Monday was P's well child visit. I hadn't even actually SEEN the time, because it was actually rescheduled via phone. I had asked them the previous week when it was. I had heard them say it twice on the phone. I had notes that said "2:50". I waltzed into the appointment, beaming really, because not only had I made it on time...but I was early. The lady looked at me and said "You missed the appointment."
"Beg your pardon?"
"Yes, you missed your appointment. It was at 2:15. I don't think the doctor can see you now."
[Me panicking]
We received a letter in the mail saying our doctor was leaving the practice. I surmised he was retiring. He's an older gentleman. My main question for him was simply...WHICH of these doctor's do you recommend the most? I didn't know if I'd get a real answer, but I thought it was worth asking. The doctor had about a month left and was taking some time off too. Plus...the baby will be here very soon.
"We have an opening March 4th."
"This baby is due March 6th. I don't think that is a good idea."
I'll give her credit. I told her I wanted to see the doc before he left and preferably before this baby is born. She made it happen with some finagling. I really really appreciate that.
The only downside was that the appointment was scheduled for Thursday. "Sure - NO PROBLEM!" I said with a sigh of relief that everything was going to be ok.
On the way out the car...it dawned on me. Thursday...February 14th...VALENTINES DAY!!! Parties! Commitments! This was NO GOOD!
I was pretty upset with myself.
But I knew I didn't have much choice. Dear Lord, I prayed, please figure this out for me. I can't. But I'm SO SAD that this is working out this way!
I emailed Rebekah's teacher and told her I wouldn't make it. Then I did a little searching for a game idea and I sent it to her. She loved it.
Thursday came and I took off from work. A very busy and hectic day at work.
First, I found out my doctor was not retiring (as I had surmised). He was relocating and would be opening his own practice. AND we'd get to KEEP HIM! HOORAY! Best news all day.
We also got done in time for Peter to attend his party. He didn't really miss out on any activities.
I received an email from Rebekah's teacher telling me the game was a HUGE HIT with the kids. While I would have loved to have seen it, providing the game made me feel just as warm and fuzzy.
Ruth lost her balloon (which she adored) but William saved the day by stopping and getting a new one for her on the way home.
When I reflect on my day, Proverbs 3:6 comes to mind.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.
~ Proverbs 3:5-6 (NIV)
My path doesn't get much straighter than that.
Monday, February 4, 2013
The pressure of pg on weight loss
Probably the thing I have struggled with the most is my weight this time around. I have gained more than I have ever gained for any of the other pregnancies. My doctor seems to think it is normal...from my perspective though, it is pretty shocking.
I'm trying really hard to not stress or obsess about it. My eating habits haven't changed drastically really. (If we compare pregnancy to pregnancy - I've probably eaten more than normal. But I haven't eaten more than I normally do for my non-pregnant self.) And God has been teaching me exactly how instrumental He has been in my weightloss so far.
When you put all the hard work into exercising and eating right, it is pretty easy to say "I'm working pretty hard! Look at what I have done!" But the fact is that for some reason, time time around God has not protected me from various temptations. And truth be told, normally I'm pretty good at passing them up. Cake? Actually, that is usually an easy one for me to pass up. Chocolate? Well...yeah. Ice cream? Now there is a stretch...I have a soft spot (and always have) for ice cream.
I was just telling someone at church yesterday that the only 'weird' craving I've had is cake. For me, it is weird. Sitting around going "Man, I wish I had a piece of cake" is simply not normal.
The thing I'm learning is that God changed my eating habits. I didn't. God changed my exercising habits. I didn't. I just provided a willing heart. He helped me get the things done I needed to in order to lose weight. And He has repeatedly told me that once this baby is born He will again help me lose this baby weight - along with the rest of the weight I had to lose before I considered myself done. I must leave these things in His hands.
I've questioned why I'm even having to go down this road, and besides being taught the "I am nothing" lesson (which is important), I am also being shown that I truly am healed from Gestational Diabetes. With Ruth, I had to eat right. And I mean right! But my blood sugar will stay in check! With this baby, I can have a piece of cake. It's ok. I can't have 4 pieces of cake...that isn't OK...but 1 will not hurt me one bit. (But honestly - no one should be eating 4 pieces of cake!)
The last lesson I'm learning I believe is for my future - and that is about moderation. I can be pretty extreme. My perspective in life is very black and white. I don't see too many shades of grey. So learning how to eat one piece of cake and be ok is actually something I should learn so I can teach my kids. It is part of eating healthy. Understanding your overall calorie intake, understanding what is ok in the moment comparatively with what you have eaten all day...these are things I need to understand. Understanding how to eat just 1 piece of cake is an important skill as well.
In the meantime, I must close my eyes, take a deep breath and believe God has His best for me. I need to focus on this new baby that is about to join our family and not obsess over the future of my exercise plans (will I still like running? how hard is it going to be to return?), how difficult it will be to lose weight, or even how much extra weight I will end up having to lose (on top of what was already necessary). God helped me once. He is faithful. We will do it together again.
I'm trying really hard to not stress or obsess about it. My eating habits haven't changed drastically really. (If we compare pregnancy to pregnancy - I've probably eaten more than normal. But I haven't eaten more than I normally do for my non-pregnant self.) And God has been teaching me exactly how instrumental He has been in my weightloss so far.
When you put all the hard work into exercising and eating right, it is pretty easy to say "I'm working pretty hard! Look at what I have done!" But the fact is that for some reason, time time around God has not protected me from various temptations. And truth be told, normally I'm pretty good at passing them up. Cake? Actually, that is usually an easy one for me to pass up. Chocolate? Well...yeah. Ice cream? Now there is a stretch...I have a soft spot (and always have) for ice cream.
I was just telling someone at church yesterday that the only 'weird' craving I've had is cake. For me, it is weird. Sitting around going "Man, I wish I had a piece of cake" is simply not normal.
The thing I'm learning is that God changed my eating habits. I didn't. God changed my exercising habits. I didn't. I just provided a willing heart. He helped me get the things done I needed to in order to lose weight. And He has repeatedly told me that once this baby is born He will again help me lose this baby weight - along with the rest of the weight I had to lose before I considered myself done. I must leave these things in His hands.
I've questioned why I'm even having to go down this road, and besides being taught the "I am nothing" lesson (which is important), I am also being shown that I truly am healed from Gestational Diabetes. With Ruth, I had to eat right. And I mean right! But my blood sugar will stay in check! With this baby, I can have a piece of cake. It's ok. I can't have 4 pieces of cake...that isn't OK...but 1 will not hurt me one bit. (But honestly - no one should be eating 4 pieces of cake!)
The last lesson I'm learning I believe is for my future - and that is about moderation. I can be pretty extreme. My perspective in life is very black and white. I don't see too many shades of grey. So learning how to eat one piece of cake and be ok is actually something I should learn so I can teach my kids. It is part of eating healthy. Understanding your overall calorie intake, understanding what is ok in the moment comparatively with what you have eaten all day...these are things I need to understand. Understanding how to eat just 1 piece of cake is an important skill as well.
In the meantime, I must close my eyes, take a deep breath and believe God has His best for me. I need to focus on this new baby that is about to join our family and not obsess over the future of my exercise plans (will I still like running? how hard is it going to be to return?), how difficult it will be to lose weight, or even how much extra weight I will end up having to lose (on top of what was already necessary). God helped me once. He is faithful. We will do it together again.
Monday, December 17, 2012
Our feeble understanding
So I recently did a Bible study which basically read Chip Ingram's book "God: As He Longs for You to See Him". On of the things that has stuck with me is God's sovereignty. In the book, Chip talks about how kingdoms fall because something happens that the person in charge didn't foresee coming. This is precisely why God's kingdom will never fall - He knows all.
This past week I was chatting with William about some friends who had fallen on hard times. The woman had mentioned that she was tired. Some of her medications needed adjusted, but she couldn't afford the lab work involved to adjust them properly. His ears perked up. "Do you know how much it is?" I told him no - she had mentioned it in passing and I didn't really want to pry. I was honestly a little surprised at how eager and interested he was. He told me to keep my ear out and possibly find out if we could help. I wasn't sure how to bring up the subject in an appropriate manner. (I'm pretty socially inept. I navigate the waters by avoiding saying anything and listening wholeheartedly.)
So I began to pray. "Lord - if we are meant to help these dear friends, please show us how. Open up the door so we can help them. You know me - I love helping...but not at the expense of their pride."
It was an honest prayer. I know me - and I can be over-helpful at times. So knowing WHEN to help and HOW to help is just as important as the help itself. And I didn't want any of that. But I definitely had a burden to help. I had finally come to the conclusion we should just hand them some cash and tell them to use it however they saw fit.
Meanwhile - William's car has been acting up. He wants to get a new one and has been fighting the urge. We have been trying to figure out...are these issues an attack we should ignore or are we being pointed in a direction? The problems so far have been minor. Sometimes the car doesn't start in the daycare parking lot. It is usually cold weather, and the daycare is located such that this is basically a start/stop/restart scenario. William has finally figured out how to 'make it work'. His heater hasn't been working. He lost power one time pulling out into traffic. (That scarred the crap out of him. But it hasn't happened since.)
He called me frustrated because his car was almost overheating. I told him he ought to call our friend and see if perhaps he could fix it - and THEN perhaps we could use that as avenue to bless them.
He latched onto the idea much quicker than I anticipated. I figured (in all honesty) we would just end up with a new car.
But here's what I didn't know - God began speaking to William about this family. The message was simple: bless them. So William chatted with the guy asking if there were any needs. The guy chuckled and said no - directing William to someone else who perhaps needed a blessing. But that wasn't the direction William was given so he shrugged his shoulders and decided it wasn't time yet.
So when I started mentioning all of this - it was William's cue that it was time to act. In the end our car was fixed, the family was blessed when they needed it most and God moved. To me, it looked like a bunch of puzzle pieces were thrown up into the air and landed on the ground put together perfectly. In reality - it was a complicated 1000 piece puzzle that God had been working on for quite some time now.
I frequently say I don't believe in luck. I also am starting to realize I don't really believe in random events either. And I feel honored the Lord chose to use us in His work.
This past week I was chatting with William about some friends who had fallen on hard times. The woman had mentioned that she was tired. Some of her medications needed adjusted, but she couldn't afford the lab work involved to adjust them properly. His ears perked up. "Do you know how much it is?" I told him no - she had mentioned it in passing and I didn't really want to pry. I was honestly a little surprised at how eager and interested he was. He told me to keep my ear out and possibly find out if we could help. I wasn't sure how to bring up the subject in an appropriate manner. (I'm pretty socially inept. I navigate the waters by avoiding saying anything and listening wholeheartedly.)
So I began to pray. "Lord - if we are meant to help these dear friends, please show us how. Open up the door so we can help them. You know me - I love helping...but not at the expense of their pride."
It was an honest prayer. I know me - and I can be over-helpful at times. So knowing WHEN to help and HOW to help is just as important as the help itself. And I didn't want any of that. But I definitely had a burden to help. I had finally come to the conclusion we should just hand them some cash and tell them to use it however they saw fit.
Meanwhile - William's car has been acting up. He wants to get a new one and has been fighting the urge. We have been trying to figure out...are these issues an attack we should ignore or are we being pointed in a direction? The problems so far have been minor. Sometimes the car doesn't start in the daycare parking lot. It is usually cold weather, and the daycare is located such that this is basically a start/stop/restart scenario. William has finally figured out how to 'make it work'. His heater hasn't been working. He lost power one time pulling out into traffic. (That scarred the crap out of him. But it hasn't happened since.)
He called me frustrated because his car was almost overheating. I told him he ought to call our friend and see if perhaps he could fix it - and THEN perhaps we could use that as avenue to bless them.
He latched onto the idea much quicker than I anticipated. I figured (in all honesty) we would just end up with a new car.
But here's what I didn't know - God began speaking to William about this family. The message was simple: bless them. So William chatted with the guy asking if there were any needs. The guy chuckled and said no - directing William to someone else who perhaps needed a blessing. But that wasn't the direction William was given so he shrugged his shoulders and decided it wasn't time yet.
So when I started mentioning all of this - it was William's cue that it was time to act. In the end our car was fixed, the family was blessed when they needed it most and God moved. To me, it looked like a bunch of puzzle pieces were thrown up into the air and landed on the ground put together perfectly. In reality - it was a complicated 1000 piece puzzle that God had been working on for quite some time now.
I frequently say I don't believe in luck. I also am starting to realize I don't really believe in random events either. And I feel honored the Lord chose to use us in His work.
Friday, November 30, 2012
I miss running
The last time I ran was Jun 30th, and I remember the run so clearly. It was my 4th run, mid summer and I was able to get out there at 5:30 and it be daylight. I ran 4 miles with ease. Knowing I was taking a break the next week due to all the traveling that would be happening, I had squeezed in 4 runs during the weekday. I thought perhaps I could even continue the trend.
I went to Denver, then on a short lake trip followed by a trip to OK to visit the ILs. But I was already looking forward to picking up the following week.
That travel week I was pretty darn tired. But I wasn't surprised. It was a jam packed week full of (mostly) fun. So the exhaustion was really not surprising. And the following week didn't prove to be slower - we had VBS. VBS is always a fun time - but certainly rest and relaxation isn't really part of the experience.
I didn't pick up running that VBS week as I intended. I felt like I was catching up on sleep anyway and so going out and spending more of it to run just didn't seem wise.
The following week I was sick. Sick sick sick. And the sickness remained until early August - but didn't really fully go away until the beginning of September.
During July I did attempt to at least keep up with the exercise classes I was taking at work. After nearly puking during one session though, I decided to take a bit of time off until my illness went away. Things got so bad that I would get motion sick while I was walking. Getting to work in the mornings (I frequently carpooled - and infrequently drove) was also quite the trip. I'd spend the first hour or so after I arrived trying to gather myself so I wouldn't feel so bad.
I had a million excuses between then and now - the biggest one being I felt a tiny pull at my heart that I ought to just relax.
My blood sugars are doing awesome. I did have a bit of trouble over Thanksgiving - but I'm certain the 3 slices of pie I ate that day and poor eating habits that followed on the next two days were of course to blame. Now that I'm back on my normal diet, my blood sugar has returned to normal. If I were exercising, it would be easy to say "Sure God healed me - but I'm exercising. Of course that is a factor." While I do believe God heals through many means (medicine, healthy living, miraculous unexplainable means) - sometimes he chooses the miraculous.
Several months ago a man in our church who was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and given 6 months to live - 1.5 years ago - stood up and talked about how he felt he had 'lost' his healing. Some family members prayed and realized it wasn't possible. The healing was a gift.
This resonated with me. I felt like I it was possible for me to lose mine as well. But God has also healed me. It is finished. While I can't (and shouldn't) go crazy - I can say that eating a piece of pumpkin pie after a healthy dinner is completely OK for me. God has healed me and that is all there is too it. It is unarguable.
I'm looking forward to picking up running again - after this baby is born. :)
I went to Denver, then on a short lake trip followed by a trip to OK to visit the ILs. But I was already looking forward to picking up the following week.
That travel week I was pretty darn tired. But I wasn't surprised. It was a jam packed week full of (mostly) fun. So the exhaustion was really not surprising. And the following week didn't prove to be slower - we had VBS. VBS is always a fun time - but certainly rest and relaxation isn't really part of the experience.
I didn't pick up running that VBS week as I intended. I felt like I was catching up on sleep anyway and so going out and spending more of it to run just didn't seem wise.
The following week I was sick. Sick sick sick. And the sickness remained until early August - but didn't really fully go away until the beginning of September.
During July I did attempt to at least keep up with the exercise classes I was taking at work. After nearly puking during one session though, I decided to take a bit of time off until my illness went away. Things got so bad that I would get motion sick while I was walking. Getting to work in the mornings (I frequently carpooled - and infrequently drove) was also quite the trip. I'd spend the first hour or so after I arrived trying to gather myself so I wouldn't feel so bad.
I had a million excuses between then and now - the biggest one being I felt a tiny pull at my heart that I ought to just relax.
My blood sugars are doing awesome. I did have a bit of trouble over Thanksgiving - but I'm certain the 3 slices of pie I ate that day and poor eating habits that followed on the next two days were of course to blame. Now that I'm back on my normal diet, my blood sugar has returned to normal. If I were exercising, it would be easy to say "Sure God healed me - but I'm exercising. Of course that is a factor." While I do believe God heals through many means (medicine, healthy living, miraculous unexplainable means) - sometimes he chooses the miraculous.
Several months ago a man in our church who was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and given 6 months to live - 1.5 years ago - stood up and talked about how he felt he had 'lost' his healing. Some family members prayed and realized it wasn't possible. The healing was a gift.
This resonated with me. I felt like I it was possible for me to lose mine as well. But God has also healed me. It is finished. While I can't (and shouldn't) go crazy - I can say that eating a piece of pumpkin pie after a healthy dinner is completely OK for me. God has healed me and that is all there is too it. It is unarguable.
I'm looking forward to picking up running again - after this baby is born. :)
Wednesday, August 15, 2012
One little girl's prayer
Yesterday we went to meet the teacher night. We don't find out who our teacher is until this very night. School started today.
But let me back up a little bit.
Rumors swirled around end of last year that Rebekah's teacher may move to 1st grade. Then on the very last day, she confirmed that she would in fact be moving to first grade. She also cautioned me that anything could happen this summer, and even suggested that I could call the office and request her as a teacher if I'd like.
I would have loved to. We love her.
Rebekah wanted her and voiced that to me. And so I would explain that we would have to wait and see. I also explained that if she didn't get this teacher, that it was because God had something better in mind for her.
Oh how I wanted to call.
But...God has been rather straight with me. I am to leave Rebekah's education to Him.
Why? Well - I do like to control things. I like to get in there and make sure things happen how I want them too. This leaves very little space for Him to work. And the biggest thing He has been teaching me the last 3 years is to stand back. SURE I trust Him. I do - with my whole heart. But standing back and not "helping" can be kind of tough for me.
So I didn't call.
I thought about it frequently. But I still didn't call.
I was chatting with my pastor's wife on Sunday, and she said "One thing we always said was that we are preparing our kids for the road - not the road for the kids!" I hung onto this word of encouragement from Sunday to Tuesday evening. It was an affirmation that I'm not a negligent parent. And it was probably the last little bit of "umpf" I needed to keep from calling. I appreciate the God sends these random bits of encouragement when we need it!
Tuesday rolls around and we head to meet the teacher night. At first as I was reviewing the class lists I was trying to figure out what order the names were in - random? Alphabetized - but by what? First name? Last name? It finally dawned on me as I skimmed to just look at the one list. So I zoned in on the teacher's name and reviewed the list carefully.
There was Rebekah's name.
"REBEKAH!" I exclaimed! "GUESS WHAT! YOU GOT MRS. B!" Rebekah's little eyes lit up and a huge grin spread across her face.
"I prayed the ENTIRE SUMMER I would get her! God listened to my prayers!"
And you know what? My heart melted and I was blessed. If I had called - credit would not have gone to where credit was due. God is building a relationship with Rebekah, and it is important I let Him do so. In all my controlling ways, that is something I would never want to interfere with. How I would have screwed things up if I hadn't been obedient.
Hmmmm...I guess He really does know what He is doing after all!
And there is a bit more to the story. Why did Mrs. B get moved up at all? At this point I can only surmise that it was part of God's master plan.
Originally - it was because there was going to be an extra 1st grade class and one less K class. BUT - they ended up moving one 1st grade teacher to 2nd, and then of course Mrs. B to 1st. There was still going to be one less K class.
BUT - I noticed when looking at the class lists, that there are still 4 K classes. So why didn't they just leave Mrs. B there, the 1st grade teacher there and just hire in a new 2nd grade teacher? That seems like the easiest solution instead of all the shuffling.
I can't really tell you. And I'm not going to question it. I'm thrilled we have Mrs. B again!
But let me back up a little bit. Rumors swirled around end of last year that Rebekah's teacher may move to 1st grade. Then on the very last day, she confirmed that she would in fact be moving to first grade. She also cautioned me that anything could happen this summer, and even suggested that I could call the office and request her as a teacher if I'd like.
I would have loved to. We love her.
Rebekah wanted her and voiced that to me. And so I would explain that we would have to wait and see. I also explained that if she didn't get this teacher, that it was because God had something better in mind for her.
Oh how I wanted to call.
But...God has been rather straight with me. I am to leave Rebekah's education to Him.
Why? Well - I do like to control things. I like to get in there and make sure things happen how I want them too. This leaves very little space for Him to work. And the biggest thing He has been teaching me the last 3 years is to stand back. SURE I trust Him. I do - with my whole heart. But standing back and not "helping" can be kind of tough for me.
So I didn't call.
I thought about it frequently. But I still didn't call.
I was chatting with my pastor's wife on Sunday, and she said "One thing we always said was that we are preparing our kids for the road - not the road for the kids!" I hung onto this word of encouragement from Sunday to Tuesday evening. It was an affirmation that I'm not a negligent parent. And it was probably the last little bit of "umpf" I needed to keep from calling. I appreciate the God sends these random bits of encouragement when we need it!
Tuesday rolls around and we head to meet the teacher night. At first as I was reviewing the class lists I was trying to figure out what order the names were in - random? Alphabetized - but by what? First name? Last name? It finally dawned on me as I skimmed to just look at the one list. So I zoned in on the teacher's name and reviewed the list carefully.
There was Rebekah's name.
"REBEKAH!" I exclaimed! "GUESS WHAT! YOU GOT MRS. B!" Rebekah's little eyes lit up and a huge grin spread across her face.
"I prayed the ENTIRE SUMMER I would get her! God listened to my prayers!"
And you know what? My heart melted and I was blessed. If I had called - credit would not have gone to where credit was due. God is building a relationship with Rebekah, and it is important I let Him do so. In all my controlling ways, that is something I would never want to interfere with. How I would have screwed things up if I hadn't been obedient.
Hmmmm...I guess He really does know what He is doing after all!
And there is a bit more to the story. Why did Mrs. B get moved up at all? At this point I can only surmise that it was part of God's master plan.
Originally - it was because there was going to be an extra 1st grade class and one less K class. BUT - they ended up moving one 1st grade teacher to 2nd, and then of course Mrs. B to 1st. There was still going to be one less K class.
BUT - I noticed when looking at the class lists, that there are still 4 K classes. So why didn't they just leave Mrs. B there, the 1st grade teacher there and just hire in a new 2nd grade teacher? That seems like the easiest solution instead of all the shuffling.
I can't really tell you. And I'm not going to question it. I'm thrilled we have Mrs. B again!
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
Meet Agnes
Thursday my dad called me up. He said he had an errand to run out at a bike shop about an hour away on Saturday and he wanted William and I to go. This bike shop has an awesome rep - I've heard not just good things about it, but awesome, borderline glowing things about the way this shop does business.
I told my dad I'd talk to William and get back to him. He (my dad) was pretty persistent about us going. But - it hadn't been the first time he had asked about us going. And this time I relented a bit, because I really wanted a helmet. I thought I'd take a look and check out the helmets they had. And it wouldn't hurt to browse a little bit at the bikes.
William couldn't make it - he had something already planned. A new internet vendor was coming out to do an install. (Our old provider was awful. We tried - we had them out 3-4 times in the last 8 months to fix it.) We figured it was best, because William had the buy-a-bike bug pretty bad. It was taking all his restraint to not buy one. I knew this. I also knew I could look and NOT buy. (I'm great at dreaming.)
But I wore flip flops to the shop.
Intentionally.
Knowing how William is and knowing how much I wanted a bike myself - I didn't trust myself to not test drive any. What better way to ensure I didn't than to wear flip flops? You really can't ride a bike in those. (The clutch would hurt your toes, I'm sure.)
So Saturday was a mad dash for me. I went for my traditional 7 mi run in the morning (kinda early, even for me because William had some other plans he later cancelled), got home and showered and did my Saturday morning beauty ritual. (I'm usually pretty quick at getting dressed - except on Saturdays. You can count on me taking an hour at least.) At some delicious breakfast William whipped up. Can I just say - I'm SO SPOILED? William cooks a full spread for breakfast on the weekends...bacon, (turkey) sausage, scrambled eggs, biscuits and gravy. (And what does Rebekah eat? Cereal. Seriously.) Mmmmm - I love his breakfasts. I actually prefer to eat at home than to go out. And who wouldn't with food like that?
Anyway - I took the kids to their swimming lessons and then to a birthday party. I actually have an interesting story from the party I'd like to share - but it will have to wait. We must focus on the story at hand, or this post will turn into a novel.
I stopped and got myself some lunch and was wishing for a nap at this point in time. My mom was already waiting on me though. She started working on fixing Rebekah's sewing machine - so I had about 15 minutes to sit on the couch with my eyes closed. It helped, but I was still pretty tired.
I pulled up Bob's Bikz on my navigator. I told mom she didn't need to worry about me - I had a map. I knew where we were going. She was happy about that at first, but then told me I had to stick with her. After-all, she technically still had her learners and had to be with a licensed motorcyclist. Noooo problem.
Then we got on the highway - 70 MPH. My mom was going 50 at best. So I called my dad up, who had to run some mysterious errands. "Hey, is mom going so slow on purpose?" "Yep - the wind bothers her pretty bad." Oi...Kingman was 30 miles away. And I was going to get to drive it at 50 MPH.
Did I mention how tired I was? I just wanted to browse the helmets and go home.
It didn't take long before I was kicking myself for agreeing to even go. I cranked up the music though and tried to enjoy the drive. I prayed over my mom driving (I really did not want to be the witness of her demise - and I had this naggy feeling it was a real possibility) and prayed in general.
We finally made it to the shop. I felt like kissing the ground when I got there - I was just overjoyed to have finally made it. And since my dad was there, I knew I wouldn't have to stick around and wait for them. I'd be able to drive as fast as I wanted to get home!
Bob was busily walking around. He paused and said "Hi! Can I help you today?" I smiled and said I was just browsing. He went on about his business. I went over and looked at the helmets, but didn't see any that I really liked. "Try some on!" he said. I did - and they fit fine, but I wanted something pretty. "Pick one out!" I told Dad that was OK, I'd like to look at some other places. Then my dad and I wandered around looking at bikes. He kept pointing out scooters saying "How 'bout THIS one?" I looked over the bikes, but honestly none of them caught my eye.
I wanted back over to where my mom had plopped herself down and chatted with a guy (employee) over there. "Who comes to look at motorcycles in FLIP FLOPS?" he teased. I told him I had no intentions of buying. He wanted to know why I had come all that way - I had wondered the same thing myself. I just smiled and replied I was following my dad around.
"Do you do that often?" he asked.
"No actually. Just happened to today." I said.
We joked around a little more - when the guy said "Hmmm - I bet I can find a bike in here that you would just love. You want something that has enough power to keep you going, but not too much since you are just starting." I nodded - that was probably true. As he perused the shop Bob walked in.
"I have the perfect bike for her." he said as he whizzed passed me. "Follow me." I laughed thinking "Man, these guys are really trying to make a sale!" But I didn't feel at all pressured. I was having fun with it. So I followed him around as he took a loop around the shop and then finally headed out the front door.
I thought this was odd - but had seen a bunch of bikes out front when we pulled up. I thought they belonged to people. "Hmmm - I guess some of those were shop bikes after all." He walked up to a bike that was sitting right outside.
"Sit on it. Give it a try." I smiled and played along. "Sure ok..." and hopped on the bike, flip flops and all.
"How does it feel?"
I'm no bike expert. I was thinking..."Like a bike - how is it supposed to feel?" But I just shrugged and said it felt fine. (I am sure there are differences - I just haven't sat on enough of them to really know those differences.)
He gave me a speech about how my parents had been good customers, and they had put a lot of work into the bike to get it running. I honestly can't recall all what he said - because it was at this point that my mind was turning and I had figured out that it was my bike. Bob finally got the punch line and told me it was my bike.
My bike. "MERRY CHRISTMAS!" my mom said (or someone said - I can't really recall who...details are fuzzy here). I had a bike!
"WOW! That is great! THANKS so much guys!" I said! My mom was fiddling with her phone - she had been trying to record it and at this point and squirreled on trying to get it to work (or see if it was working - something...I wasn't paying attention honestly).
"Look in your car. I'm sure there are boots in there." Dad said.
I didn't question it. I looked around in the middle of the car and finally looked in the back and found my boots, gloves, socks and my long sleeve shirt. Now I guess I really did need a helmet. I dug out my license (they needed it before releasing the bike to me) and off I went to pick out a helmet.
I'm sure I frustrated them trying to decide which one to pick. I can be indecisive on large purchases. (And to me, this was a large purchase. Pretty much anything beyond a lunch is a large purchase.) I don't like making mistakes and wasting money.
So I finally settled on a helmet and we headed home (bright red). I picked out a Bob's Bikz t-shirt (long sleeved - although in hindsight I think I'd have preferred a short sleeve). We took a picture (which I do not have) of the 3 of us by the bike. I hid behind the bike so that you couldn't see my goofy legs...capri's with boots. Seriously - I don't have a lot of fashion sense but even I knew enough to know that this was silly and not something I wanted to capture for the future. I didn't care too much though - I GOT A BIKE!!!!
My Dad was super excited that the 3 of us got to ride home. Bob gave us some quick directions about a good route so I could get a feel for the bike (just riding around the block, so I wasn't headed into heavy traffic to start with). He showed me a couple things about the bike (mainly the break has an extra thing on it and sometimes people get their foot caught on it).
We headed out to the first stop sign and I started to go...and BAM. I killed it. And I'm so thankful I did. I learned another important piece of information. This bike will only start when the clutch it out and it is in neutral. I had gotten used to NOT putting the bike in neutral during class - because those Honda Nighthawk's would not go in neutral unless the engine was off (seriously). So I tried everything I could think of to make it start. OH NO! I BROKE THE ENGINE! I kept thinking to myself. I was sitting there fiddling with everything I could possibly think of to fiddle with when Bob rode up on a 4 wheeler.
"Problem?"
"Yeah - I can't seem to get the bike started again." I'm sure I looked dismayed.
"These old Kawasaki's tend to have to be in neutral to start them, with the clutch out."
I gave it a try and - ROOOOAAAARRRRR...it came to life. He smiled and rode back to his shop and we were on our way.
I don't know how long the trip home was, but I enjoyed it. It was windy, but fun being in the open air.
When we drove up in the driveway I gave the engine a good roar and saw little faces peeping out of the window. Ruth exclaimed "MAMA!" and Peter's eyes lit up at the sight of the motorcycle.
He's pretty excited that we have one now. I think he thinks it means he will get to ride it. ;-) That boy has got the bug - even before we took the classes (which we did back in May - I highly recommend Teach Me to Ride folks, in particular Terry Mauk). I'm sure he'll want his first "car" to only have two wheels.
I've named our bike Agnes. I was sitting on the front grass waiting for William to come back from a short spin around the block. It just sort of dawned on me that this bike is old, but still has a certain....well...grace about it. Agnes just sort of hit me. I don't normally name vehicles, but this one seemed like it needed a name.
William swears he isn't calling the bike by a name - so now it is my personal mission to get him to use the name! :-P
One more thing I will mention. After we took the class, William had a strong desire to get one. It was probably the biggest temptation we'd had of diverting funds from paying off debt. So on my way to work one morning I chatted with God about it. I asked that He either remove the desire to get a bike from our hearts or to get us a bike. One of the two - because this temptation thing was strong. I wasn't sure how long William could hold out. I wasn't sure how long *I* could hold out. So I just laid it out there.
I never got an "answer" one way or the other. After the initial heartfelt prayer, I mentioned it a couple of times to God as I prayed over finances. (I've been praying for some money stuff for church - complicated story.) While my parents were the vessels, I do look at this as a gift from God. God uses people. He used my parents. When we took the Dave Ramsey class, Dave talked about how people will go buy a car...and say "Look what God gave us!" But then they are slaves to the car because they can't really afford it. Dave talked about how God's gifts don't enslave us - they free us. So even if you get a good deal, it really isn't from God if it creates bondage.
This bike is 100% paid for. In fact, my parents paid cash for it. I respect this greater than they can imagine. It cost us $100/yr to insure it and the last time William filled it up it took 1.8 gallons. That was after the trip from Kingman and some other toodling around town.
This is what a blessing looks like.
I told my dad I'd talk to William and get back to him. He (my dad) was pretty persistent about us going. But - it hadn't been the first time he had asked about us going. And this time I relented a bit, because I really wanted a helmet. I thought I'd take a look and check out the helmets they had. And it wouldn't hurt to browse a little bit at the bikes.
William couldn't make it - he had something already planned. A new internet vendor was coming out to do an install. (Our old provider was awful. We tried - we had them out 3-4 times in the last 8 months to fix it.) We figured it was best, because William had the buy-a-bike bug pretty bad. It was taking all his restraint to not buy one. I knew this. I also knew I could look and NOT buy. (I'm great at dreaming.)
But I wore flip flops to the shop.
Intentionally.
Knowing how William is and knowing how much I wanted a bike myself - I didn't trust myself to not test drive any. What better way to ensure I didn't than to wear flip flops? You really can't ride a bike in those. (The clutch would hurt your toes, I'm sure.)
So Saturday was a mad dash for me. I went for my traditional 7 mi run in the morning (kinda early, even for me because William had some other plans he later cancelled), got home and showered and did my Saturday morning beauty ritual. (I'm usually pretty quick at getting dressed - except on Saturdays. You can count on me taking an hour at least.) At some delicious breakfast William whipped up. Can I just say - I'm SO SPOILED? William cooks a full spread for breakfast on the weekends...bacon, (turkey) sausage, scrambled eggs, biscuits and gravy. (And what does Rebekah eat? Cereal. Seriously.) Mmmmm - I love his breakfasts. I actually prefer to eat at home than to go out. And who wouldn't with food like that?
Anyway - I took the kids to their swimming lessons and then to a birthday party. I actually have an interesting story from the party I'd like to share - but it will have to wait. We must focus on the story at hand, or this post will turn into a novel.
I stopped and got myself some lunch and was wishing for a nap at this point in time. My mom was already waiting on me though. She started working on fixing Rebekah's sewing machine - so I had about 15 minutes to sit on the couch with my eyes closed. It helped, but I was still pretty tired.
I pulled up Bob's Bikz on my navigator. I told mom she didn't need to worry about me - I had a map. I knew where we were going. She was happy about that at first, but then told me I had to stick with her. After-all, she technically still had her learners and had to be with a licensed motorcyclist. Noooo problem.
Then we got on the highway - 70 MPH. My mom was going 50 at best. So I called my dad up, who had to run some mysterious errands. "Hey, is mom going so slow on purpose?" "Yep - the wind bothers her pretty bad." Oi...Kingman was 30 miles away. And I was going to get to drive it at 50 MPH.
Did I mention how tired I was? I just wanted to browse the helmets and go home.
It didn't take long before I was kicking myself for agreeing to even go. I cranked up the music though and tried to enjoy the drive. I prayed over my mom driving (I really did not want to be the witness of her demise - and I had this naggy feeling it was a real possibility) and prayed in general.
We finally made it to the shop. I felt like kissing the ground when I got there - I was just overjoyed to have finally made it. And since my dad was there, I knew I wouldn't have to stick around and wait for them. I'd be able to drive as fast as I wanted to get home!
Bob was busily walking around. He paused and said "Hi! Can I help you today?" I smiled and said I was just browsing. He went on about his business. I went over and looked at the helmets, but didn't see any that I really liked. "Try some on!" he said. I did - and they fit fine, but I wanted something pretty. "Pick one out!" I told Dad that was OK, I'd like to look at some other places. Then my dad and I wandered around looking at bikes. He kept pointing out scooters saying "How 'bout THIS one?" I looked over the bikes, but honestly none of them caught my eye.
I wanted back over to where my mom had plopped herself down and chatted with a guy (employee) over there. "Who comes to look at motorcycles in FLIP FLOPS?" he teased. I told him I had no intentions of buying. He wanted to know why I had come all that way - I had wondered the same thing myself. I just smiled and replied I was following my dad around.
"Do you do that often?" he asked.
"No actually. Just happened to today." I said.
We joked around a little more - when the guy said "Hmmm - I bet I can find a bike in here that you would just love. You want something that has enough power to keep you going, but not too much since you are just starting." I nodded - that was probably true. As he perused the shop Bob walked in.
"I have the perfect bike for her." he said as he whizzed passed me. "Follow me." I laughed thinking "Man, these guys are really trying to make a sale!" But I didn't feel at all pressured. I was having fun with it. So I followed him around as he took a loop around the shop and then finally headed out the front door.
I thought this was odd - but had seen a bunch of bikes out front when we pulled up. I thought they belonged to people. "Hmmm - I guess some of those were shop bikes after all." He walked up to a bike that was sitting right outside.
 |
| I sent this picture to William |
"How does it feel?"
I'm no bike expert. I was thinking..."Like a bike - how is it supposed to feel?" But I just shrugged and said it felt fine. (I am sure there are differences - I just haven't sat on enough of them to really know those differences.)
He gave me a speech about how my parents had been good customers, and they had put a lot of work into the bike to get it running. I honestly can't recall all what he said - because it was at this point that my mind was turning and I had figured out that it was my bike. Bob finally got the punch line and told me it was my bike.
My bike. "MERRY CHRISTMAS!" my mom said (or someone said - I can't really recall who...details are fuzzy here). I had a bike!
"WOW! That is great! THANKS so much guys!" I said! My mom was fiddling with her phone - she had been trying to record it and at this point and squirreled on trying to get it to work (or see if it was working - something...I wasn't paying attention honestly).
"Look in your car. I'm sure there are boots in there." Dad said.
I didn't question it. I looked around in the middle of the car and finally looked in the back and found my boots, gloves, socks and my long sleeve shirt. Now I guess I really did need a helmet. I dug out my license (they needed it before releasing the bike to me) and off I went to pick out a helmet.
I'm sure I frustrated them trying to decide which one to pick. I can be indecisive on large purchases. (And to me, this was a large purchase. Pretty much anything beyond a lunch is a large purchase.) I don't like making mistakes and wasting money.
So I finally settled on a helmet and we headed home (bright red). I picked out a Bob's Bikz t-shirt (long sleeved - although in hindsight I think I'd have preferred a short sleeve). We took a picture (which I do not have) of the 3 of us by the bike. I hid behind the bike so that you couldn't see my goofy legs...capri's with boots. Seriously - I don't have a lot of fashion sense but even I knew enough to know that this was silly and not something I wanted to capture for the future. I didn't care too much though - I GOT A BIKE!!!!
My Dad was super excited that the 3 of us got to ride home. Bob gave us some quick directions about a good route so I could get a feel for the bike (just riding around the block, so I wasn't headed into heavy traffic to start with). He showed me a couple things about the bike (mainly the break has an extra thing on it and sometimes people get their foot caught on it).
We headed out to the first stop sign and I started to go...and BAM. I killed it. And I'm so thankful I did. I learned another important piece of information. This bike will only start when the clutch it out and it is in neutral. I had gotten used to NOT putting the bike in neutral during class - because those Honda Nighthawk's would not go in neutral unless the engine was off (seriously). So I tried everything I could think of to make it start. OH NO! I BROKE THE ENGINE! I kept thinking to myself. I was sitting there fiddling with everything I could possibly think of to fiddle with when Bob rode up on a 4 wheeler.
"Problem?"
"Yeah - I can't seem to get the bike started again." I'm sure I looked dismayed.
"These old Kawasaki's tend to have to be in neutral to start them, with the clutch out."
I gave it a try and - ROOOOAAAARRRRR...it came to life. He smiled and rode back to his shop and we were on our way.
I don't know how long the trip home was, but I enjoyed it. It was windy, but fun being in the open air.
When we drove up in the driveway I gave the engine a good roar and saw little faces peeping out of the window. Ruth exclaimed "MAMA!" and Peter's eyes lit up at the sight of the motorcycle.
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| Dad letting Peter sit on Agnes |
I've named our bike Agnes. I was sitting on the front grass waiting for William to come back from a short spin around the block. It just sort of dawned on me that this bike is old, but still has a certain....well...grace about it. Agnes just sort of hit me. I don't normally name vehicles, but this one seemed like it needed a name.
William swears he isn't calling the bike by a name - so now it is my personal mission to get him to use the name! :-P
One more thing I will mention. After we took the class, William had a strong desire to get one. It was probably the biggest temptation we'd had of diverting funds from paying off debt. So on my way to work one morning I chatted with God about it. I asked that He either remove the desire to get a bike from our hearts or to get us a bike. One of the two - because this temptation thing was strong. I wasn't sure how long William could hold out. I wasn't sure how long *I* could hold out. So I just laid it out there.
I never got an "answer" one way or the other. After the initial heartfelt prayer, I mentioned it a couple of times to God as I prayed over finances. (I've been praying for some money stuff for church - complicated story.) While my parents were the vessels, I do look at this as a gift from God. God uses people. He used my parents. When we took the Dave Ramsey class, Dave talked about how people will go buy a car...and say "Look what God gave us!" But then they are slaves to the car because they can't really afford it. Dave talked about how God's gifts don't enslave us - they free us. So even if you get a good deal, it really isn't from God if it creates bondage.
This bike is 100% paid for. In fact, my parents paid cash for it. I respect this greater than they can imagine. It cost us $100/yr to insure it and the last time William filled it up it took 1.8 gallons. That was after the trip from Kingman and some other toodling around town.
This is what a blessing looks like.
Sunday, April 8, 2012
Maundry Service: Unexpected healing
I'm not really sure exactly where to begin so that the events can be fully understood. So I'm throwing a dart and going to start typing.
After making our way to Maundry service, getting Ruth dropped off and settled and settling down myself - I heard my pastor mention a foot washing service. My heart plummeted. I'd only ever participated in one service before and my experience wasn't the best.
I've mentioned my sordid church history before. The only other time I'd ever participated in such a service was at the church that had me escorted out by police. Just before I was escorted out, we all sat in a circle and the man who wanted to be pastor washed our feet. After the service, we chatted and he told me he had been told I was promising young leader. It wasn't very long (days or less perhaps) between this event and when he had us escorted out. It just added to the feeling of betrayal.
Our church happens to do baptisms during Maundry service. I love that it is once a year. I think that makes it extra special. Two folks were getting baptized. It was a celebration and this year it was fun watching the kids. Rebekah has declared she wants to be baptized. I don't truly think she is ready just yet, but it was sweet to hear her declare she wants too.
Pastor started discussing the foot washing again at this point and my mind was running a million miles a minute. Feelings about the last time surfaced, but didn't really take over. What I was going to do swirled around in my head. Leave? Go? What? I decided to go - but I wasn't sure if I was going to participate. I walked into the room and sat down. Rebekah was sitting next to me, babbling away. Instinctively I peeled off my shoes, being careful to not show my holy socks. That isn't Holy...that is...holy...big huge holes where my toes are. All my socks have them (and they aren't that old). It's from running, as best as I can tell.
I say instinctively because I never made a conscious choice to participate. I took it tiny step by tiny step. "OK, I'm fine walking down the hallway to where they are doing the foot washing." "OK, I'm fine sitting in the circle." "OK, I'll go ahead and take my shoes off and sit here and observe before making my next move." It was just tiny step after tiny step.
By they way - I'm not really fond of people messing with my feet. This entire thing is just so far out of my comfort zone...
Before I could second guess anything Cara was at my feet asking to wash them. She smiled and began talking about how she just wanted to tell me thanks for being so welcoming. She talked about how everyone had been attending for so long, yet we accepted her as if it was no big deal. This rolled around in my head for a bit - I hadn't been attending this church for all that long. Not really. Wait - is 7 years a long time? Goodness - 7 years...wait really? Is my math right? She got a little weepy and said a few more things. Things I keep close to my heart because they were special.
I then grabbed a bucket and made a beeline for Ashley. I knew I was supposed to wash her feet. I didn't really know what to say - other than thanks for being my friend. Some friends challenge you, and I always feel like Ashely does.
Rebekah at this point was hollering that she wanted hers done. I wasn't really letting her participate because for her it was just something fun to do. I was having a tough time keeping her from ruining the time for others. I kept telling her to be quiet but she wasn't listening at all. I went ahead and did her feet (I had decided before the hollering started I would) and she quieted down. I let her do mine as well (she was begging). I'd love to say it was really special - but frankly I didn't view it as that...not with her demanding demeanor.
I sat for a moment and knew there was one more person's feet I needed to wash. She had her shoes on (the sign of simple observation and not participation), but there was a towel there too. So I decided to venture over. I still didn't know what to say, but I ventured over to Jan. I started out by telling her what a special friend she was and then it just tumbled out of my mouth - "You are a role model!" I couldn't really think of a better way to describe it. While no one is perfect, we do learn from one another. And Jan has taught me so much in so many areas. It isn't intentional on her part, but I have been blessed by her.
By this time things were wrapping up. I sat for a moment longer and Ashley stopped by and washed my feet. She also said some very special things that helped me realize a few things about myself. It is sort of like looking in a mirror with your reflection being in other people. She was echoing a few thoughts that someone else had mentioned at a Bible study earlier in the year about me. It was fascinating because things that are being spoken into me are things that are so different from what has been spoken into me in the past.
Hanging out with Jesus and other Jesus-freaks truly does set you free. It breaks the shackles and bondage that hangs in your life. And while sometimes it can be an overnight thing - sometimes it is a journey. Who are you? Why are you here? What are you doing? Here I am nearly to my mid-30s and I'm still thinking about these things.
Once it was finished I pondered the vastly different experiences I had - and I thought "Of course - it couldn't be anything else but." My church has never been anything than my experience that night - God-inspired. My momentary panic seemed so foolish. (Doesn't it always on the other side?)
I stepped over to Cara to chat with her a moment about it. She broke the foot washing ice for me and I wanted to tell her thanks. It was here I learned that it had been announced the previous week this was going to happen. I had missed every single announcement. I'm sure that was by divine design. I don't know that I would have had the courage to come. Then I found out that when she prayed about it this week, God had told her she needed to wash me feet and to do it first.
Well. God knew. He knew that he needed to tug at that little piece and heal it. From writing my experiences out to participating in this - I truly do feel I am healed from my past. The baggage has been tossed out. I can even tell you what has been replaced with it - this reflective glimpses I've observed. I'm not the same person I was all those years ago. And I can say that God is making me better.
This has been a pretty sweet Easter. I didn't get to contemplate the normal things I think about on Easter (Christ sacrificing himself, conquering sin - the effort He has put into loving us) but that's alright. God knew just what I needed. I'm not sure yet why I needed it - but I'm sure it will become clear eventually. It usually does!
After making our way to Maundry service, getting Ruth dropped off and settled and settling down myself - I heard my pastor mention a foot washing service. My heart plummeted. I'd only ever participated in one service before and my experience wasn't the best.
I've mentioned my sordid church history before. The only other time I'd ever participated in such a service was at the church that had me escorted out by police. Just before I was escorted out, we all sat in a circle and the man who wanted to be pastor washed our feet. After the service, we chatted and he told me he had been told I was promising young leader. It wasn't very long (days or less perhaps) between this event and when he had us escorted out. It just added to the feeling of betrayal.
Our church happens to do baptisms during Maundry service. I love that it is once a year. I think that makes it extra special. Two folks were getting baptized. It was a celebration and this year it was fun watching the kids. Rebekah has declared she wants to be baptized. I don't truly think she is ready just yet, but it was sweet to hear her declare she wants too.
Pastor started discussing the foot washing again at this point and my mind was running a million miles a minute. Feelings about the last time surfaced, but didn't really take over. What I was going to do swirled around in my head. Leave? Go? What? I decided to go - but I wasn't sure if I was going to participate. I walked into the room and sat down. Rebekah was sitting next to me, babbling away. Instinctively I peeled off my shoes, being careful to not show my holy socks. That isn't Holy...that is...holy...big huge holes where my toes are. All my socks have them (and they aren't that old). It's from running, as best as I can tell.
I say instinctively because I never made a conscious choice to participate. I took it tiny step by tiny step. "OK, I'm fine walking down the hallway to where they are doing the foot washing." "OK, I'm fine sitting in the circle." "OK, I'll go ahead and take my shoes off and sit here and observe before making my next move." It was just tiny step after tiny step.
By they way - I'm not really fond of people messing with my feet. This entire thing is just so far out of my comfort zone...
Before I could second guess anything Cara was at my feet asking to wash them. She smiled and began talking about how she just wanted to tell me thanks for being so welcoming. She talked about how everyone had been attending for so long, yet we accepted her as if it was no big deal. This rolled around in my head for a bit - I hadn't been attending this church for all that long. Not really. Wait - is 7 years a long time? Goodness - 7 years...wait really? Is my math right? She got a little weepy and said a few more things. Things I keep close to my heart because they were special.
I then grabbed a bucket and made a beeline for Ashley. I knew I was supposed to wash her feet. I didn't really know what to say - other than thanks for being my friend. Some friends challenge you, and I always feel like Ashely does.
Rebekah at this point was hollering that she wanted hers done. I wasn't really letting her participate because for her it was just something fun to do. I was having a tough time keeping her from ruining the time for others. I kept telling her to be quiet but she wasn't listening at all. I went ahead and did her feet (I had decided before the hollering started I would) and she quieted down. I let her do mine as well (she was begging). I'd love to say it was really special - but frankly I didn't view it as that...not with her demanding demeanor.
I sat for a moment and knew there was one more person's feet I needed to wash. She had her shoes on (the sign of simple observation and not participation), but there was a towel there too. So I decided to venture over. I still didn't know what to say, but I ventured over to Jan. I started out by telling her what a special friend she was and then it just tumbled out of my mouth - "You are a role model!" I couldn't really think of a better way to describe it. While no one is perfect, we do learn from one another. And Jan has taught me so much in so many areas. It isn't intentional on her part, but I have been blessed by her.
By this time things were wrapping up. I sat for a moment longer and Ashley stopped by and washed my feet. She also said some very special things that helped me realize a few things about myself. It is sort of like looking in a mirror with your reflection being in other people. She was echoing a few thoughts that someone else had mentioned at a Bible study earlier in the year about me. It was fascinating because things that are being spoken into me are things that are so different from what has been spoken into me in the past.
Hanging out with Jesus and other Jesus-freaks truly does set you free. It breaks the shackles and bondage that hangs in your life. And while sometimes it can be an overnight thing - sometimes it is a journey. Who are you? Why are you here? What are you doing? Here I am nearly to my mid-30s and I'm still thinking about these things.
Once it was finished I pondered the vastly different experiences I had - and I thought "Of course - it couldn't be anything else but." My church has never been anything than my experience that night - God-inspired. My momentary panic seemed so foolish. (Doesn't it always on the other side?)
I stepped over to Cara to chat with her a moment about it. She broke the foot washing ice for me and I wanted to tell her thanks. It was here I learned that it had been announced the previous week this was going to happen. I had missed every single announcement. I'm sure that was by divine design. I don't know that I would have had the courage to come. Then I found out that when she prayed about it this week, God had told her she needed to wash me feet and to do it first.
Well. God knew. He knew that he needed to tug at that little piece and heal it. From writing my experiences out to participating in this - I truly do feel I am healed from my past. The baggage has been tossed out. I can even tell you what has been replaced with it - this reflective glimpses I've observed. I'm not the same person I was all those years ago. And I can say that God is making me better.
This has been a pretty sweet Easter. I didn't get to contemplate the normal things I think about on Easter (Christ sacrificing himself, conquering sin - the effort He has put into loving us) but that's alright. God knew just what I needed. I'm not sure yet why I needed it - but I'm sure it will become clear eventually. It usually does!
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
When sickies happen
Monday Peter woke up and was rather lethargic. Being the good parents we are, we went to grab the thermometer...and couldn't find it. I shrugged my shoulders and chalked it up to the time change. The kids always drag around this time of year for about a week. (I really hate the time change by the way - I don't know why we can't just fix the time so we've got daylight in the evenings and leave it be all year long!)
I went off to work and William took the kids to school. While at the daycare, he had them check his temp. 101.3. Oh - hey - he really IS sick! So I stopped at the store to get some sick essentials (chicken noodle soup ingredients, popcycles, some Tylenol and a new thermometer).
I had this blog post written in my head about how I appreciated the fact that overall my kids enjoy pretty good health. I didn't mind staying home, I was blessed to be able to work from home. And praise God that Peter very rarely gets sick!
But at the time I wrote this post I had expected it to be a one day thing. Whenever my kids do get sick, that is usually about how long it lasts. They are up and running the very next day.
Here we are - day 3. Peter is still running his fever (albeit I actually DID get a normal temp reading this morning - short lived but it seems like that is a step in the right direction?), Rebekah is home sick (and added puke to the mix yesterday) and now finally William has been laying in bed watching videos on his phone all day.
Have I mentioned that the Lord neglected to give me a good bedside manner? I'd make a crappy nurse. I can put up a good pretense for the short term...but after three days my pretense is fading....like last night when Rebekah asked for the SECOND bowl of chicken noodle soup, not eating it and leaving it for Ruth to get into (after I had just told her it needed to be put up - but she insisted she was going to eat it...yeah she didn't take a single bite).
Smile! Smile! Clench those teeth if you have too but darn it - SMILE!
Or trying to convince the kids they need to drink something. They liked Gatorade the first day so I went and bought a whole bunch more. Now I have a fridge full and they won't touch it. They won't even eat popcycles for goodness sakes! And it is so hard for me to not cram it down their throat...ok...that really is an exaggeration. But like I said - this taking care of whinny sick folks is simply not my thing. And I truly mean that.
I'm sure there is a lesson here somewhere...I am grateful my children don't get sick much at all. I am grateful I can work from home and so I don't loose my own sick time (which is piddly) or vacation time. But I could be grateful for those things after just one day.
I'm ready for health to return to the family and I hope Ruth doesn't get it. If so - William may be on his own.
I went off to work and William took the kids to school. While at the daycare, he had them check his temp. 101.3. Oh - hey - he really IS sick! So I stopped at the store to get some sick essentials (chicken noodle soup ingredients, popcycles, some Tylenol and a new thermometer).
I had this blog post written in my head about how I appreciated the fact that overall my kids enjoy pretty good health. I didn't mind staying home, I was blessed to be able to work from home. And praise God that Peter very rarely gets sick!
But at the time I wrote this post I had expected it to be a one day thing. Whenever my kids do get sick, that is usually about how long it lasts. They are up and running the very next day.
Here we are - day 3. Peter is still running his fever (albeit I actually DID get a normal temp reading this morning - short lived but it seems like that is a step in the right direction?), Rebekah is home sick (and added puke to the mix yesterday) and now finally William has been laying in bed watching videos on his phone all day.
Have I mentioned that the Lord neglected to give me a good bedside manner? I'd make a crappy nurse. I can put up a good pretense for the short term...but after three days my pretense is fading....like last night when Rebekah asked for the SECOND bowl of chicken noodle soup, not eating it and leaving it for Ruth to get into (after I had just told her it needed to be put up - but she insisted she was going to eat it...yeah she didn't take a single bite).
Smile! Smile! Clench those teeth if you have too but darn it - SMILE!
Or trying to convince the kids they need to drink something. They liked Gatorade the first day so I went and bought a whole bunch more. Now I have a fridge full and they won't touch it. They won't even eat popcycles for goodness sakes! And it is so hard for me to not cram it down their throat...ok...that really is an exaggeration. But like I said - this taking care of whinny sick folks is simply not my thing. And I truly mean that.
I'm sure there is a lesson here somewhere...I am grateful my children don't get sick much at all. I am grateful I can work from home and so I don't loose my own sick time (which is piddly) or vacation time. But I could be grateful for those things after just one day.
I'm ready for health to return to the family and I hope Ruth doesn't get it. If so - William may be on his own.
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Looking through a keyhole
Have you ever looked through a keyhole? I actually haven't - but I have this image in my head...of trying to see the full scene of a room, but the view is hampered and limited by just being able to see only so much at a time...like a keyhole.
Sometimes I feel this is what it is like trying to see the Lord's full plan.
About a month ago I was part of a Bible study. In the study we discussed community, what it meant and how we grow it (so to speak - this is a very shortened synopsis!). As we discussed, we were trying to figure out something we could do as a group to lift up and build our church community. Someone piped up that the Lord told Him to build a lawn ornament for one of the members of our church. More discussions and we were settled, this is what we were going to do.
I thought it was odd - why would God care if this person has a lawn ornament? I thought about it and thought about it...the question rolling around in my head like a marble.
At a Christmas dinner for our church I stood waiting for William in a hallway. One of the other members involved with the group and the making of the lawn ornament stopped and we chatted. One particular person was very central in the building and design. He is also newer member of our church. The member I was chatting with commented "I bet he doesn't know what he has gotten himself into! He is now the official church carpenter!" And before I knew it...I replied "Oh, I bet he loves it."
As the words slipped out of my mouth that keyhole peep came into view. Sure, the member who received the ornament was blessed...she loved it. But...the real purpose had to do with our new carpenter friend. It was to show case his talents, allow us to get to know him better, help this gentleman become a more integrated part of our community. He too was blessed.
I don't know why that was so important - but it was important enough for the Lord to orchestrate it. I'm curious to see how by the end of the year this particular event will become relevant - because it has been on my mind. And I'm certain it will.
Sometimes I feel this is what it is like trying to see the Lord's full plan.
About a month ago I was part of a Bible study. In the study we discussed community, what it meant and how we grow it (so to speak - this is a very shortened synopsis!). As we discussed, we were trying to figure out something we could do as a group to lift up and build our church community. Someone piped up that the Lord told Him to build a lawn ornament for one of the members of our church. More discussions and we were settled, this is what we were going to do.
I thought it was odd - why would God care if this person has a lawn ornament? I thought about it and thought about it...the question rolling around in my head like a marble.
At a Christmas dinner for our church I stood waiting for William in a hallway. One of the other members involved with the group and the making of the lawn ornament stopped and we chatted. One particular person was very central in the building and design. He is also newer member of our church. The member I was chatting with commented "I bet he doesn't know what he has gotten himself into! He is now the official church carpenter!" And before I knew it...I replied "Oh, I bet he loves it."
As the words slipped out of my mouth that keyhole peep came into view. Sure, the member who received the ornament was blessed...she loved it. But...the real purpose had to do with our new carpenter friend. It was to show case his talents, allow us to get to know him better, help this gentleman become a more integrated part of our community. He too was blessed.
I don't know why that was so important - but it was important enough for the Lord to orchestrate it. I'm curious to see how by the end of the year this particular event will become relevant - because it has been on my mind. And I'm certain it will.
Friday, December 23, 2011
A little encouragement - God style
Two Fridays ago I woke up in the middle of the night to a noise. "OH NO! PETER IS PEEING ON THE CARPET!" I thought to myself as I groggily woke up. Then I realized...it wasn't pee. "Peter? Are you OK?" I called out. "It's me mom! Not Peter!" Rebekah replied.
Once I cleared the blurry out of my eyes I realized Rebekah was puking. In the hallway. I cleaned her up, woke William up to make sure her bed was OK and got the mess in the hall cleaned up. Clearly - she was sick.
The icky sickies made their rounds.Ruth got it Saturday (again - started in the middle of the night), but seemed to pass over Peter. I thought we were past it when on Tuesday I started feeling a little funny. I ate some lunch and felt a little better - but then William told me he went home sick. Poor fella.
By the time I made it home he was horizontal in bed and unmoving. He was most definitely sick. I worked to cook dinner, and began to feel worse and worse.
After I got it started I left to pick up the kids while it cooked.
Sometimes you just do. I was definitely in do mode. As the kid ate dinner I felt the illness creeping up on me. Before I knew I just felt awful if I was standing upright. I curled up in the floor of the dining room as they ate and I wondered how I was going to get them into bed.
Then a little thought entered my ears...it was the Lord whispering to me I'm sure. "Have the kids pray for you!" He said. So I called them over and asked them to pray for me.
I was not immediately healed - but I was so much better that I could sit up. I got the kids to bed without issue. Ruth went sleep and I immediately followed to bed.
I never threw up. I didn't have any of the other symptoms (fever for example) that the others had. I just felt yucky. But I felt blessed that I just felt yucky. I don't particularly enjoy throwing up.
I slept until noon (something I can't remember the last time I did...) and then moved the couch where I remained horizontal for the rest of the day. William took the day off but was better. Much better.
It really is crappy when BOTH parents in a household and get sick. And I'll admit it - I was a little jealous that the one time I was sick, William was also sick. (I actually can't remember the last time just *I* was sick.) And that he got to lay down. But I know I also didn't want to be as sick as he was. So I did the best I could to take care of everyone.
I found the whole situation encouraging. Why you ask? Because the Lord took the time to give me what I needed when I needed it - even though small. I received the energy to take care of the kids. I got to sleep in and rest the next day. And the following day - a day I had set aside to get ALL of my Christmas shopping DONE...I was better enough to get it all done.
To me? A miracle.
Once I cleared the blurry out of my eyes I realized Rebekah was puking. In the hallway. I cleaned her up, woke William up to make sure her bed was OK and got the mess in the hall cleaned up. Clearly - she was sick.
The icky sickies made their rounds.Ruth got it Saturday (again - started in the middle of the night), but seemed to pass over Peter. I thought we were past it when on Tuesday I started feeling a little funny. I ate some lunch and felt a little better - but then William told me he went home sick. Poor fella.
By the time I made it home he was horizontal in bed and unmoving. He was most definitely sick. I worked to cook dinner, and began to feel worse and worse.
After I got it started I left to pick up the kids while it cooked.
Sometimes you just do. I was definitely in do mode. As the kid ate dinner I felt the illness creeping up on me. Before I knew I just felt awful if I was standing upright. I curled up in the floor of the dining room as they ate and I wondered how I was going to get them into bed.
Then a little thought entered my ears...it was the Lord whispering to me I'm sure. "Have the kids pray for you!" He said. So I called them over and asked them to pray for me.
I was not immediately healed - but I was so much better that I could sit up. I got the kids to bed without issue. Ruth went sleep and I immediately followed to bed.
I never threw up. I didn't have any of the other symptoms (fever for example) that the others had. I just felt yucky. But I felt blessed that I just felt yucky. I don't particularly enjoy throwing up.
I slept until noon (something I can't remember the last time I did...) and then moved the couch where I remained horizontal for the rest of the day. William took the day off but was better. Much better.
It really is crappy when BOTH parents in a household and get sick. And I'll admit it - I was a little jealous that the one time I was sick, William was also sick. (I actually can't remember the last time just *I* was sick.) And that he got to lay down. But I know I also didn't want to be as sick as he was. So I did the best I could to take care of everyone.
I found the whole situation encouraging. Why you ask? Because the Lord took the time to give me what I needed when I needed it - even though small. I received the energy to take care of the kids. I got to sleep in and rest the next day. And the following day - a day I had set aside to get ALL of my Christmas shopping DONE...I was better enough to get it all done.
To me? A miracle.
Friday, November 18, 2011
Blessings Abound: Friendships
Two years ago I was rather lonely. I felt like I didn't have very many friends in general - and certainly no one to call up and go hang out with. I thought about this regularly on my drive home...and it hurt my heart that I could be in a crowded room and feel SO lonely. I've felt this feeling so many times in my life and I often wondered why me? Why couldn't I be one of those people who had the same friends since kindergarten? Or someone who made friends easily?
I've never made friends easily and keeping friends has always been difficult. Some of it is me (and my particular harsh personality - something I'm constantly striving to overcome). Some of it isn't. And no matter the cause - knowing that you can be in a crowded room and no one knows/cares whether you are there or not will make even the most confident person feel like a loser.
One day it hit me - and this is a God thing - that instead of feeling sorry for myself I should DO something about it. I didn't really know where to start - so I started with church. I took the time to get to know various women from my church. I attended a Bible study and I organized group outings. I made every attempt to get there early and I injected myself in little circles of conversations and participated. (I still do these things.) And over time I got to know a few of them. I even count several of them as good friends.
I was thinking about this because at a lunch yesterday at the daycare William, Peter and I sat down at an empty table. Historically when I chose a table I ended up sitting alone. This particular day that wasn't the case! Another mom who's son is friends with mine sat down and we chatted...another friend and her son and husband also sat down. I said hello to several OTHER mom-acquaintances too! And yet another mom/son combo had wanted to join our table - but it was full. She joined us after one of the other families left!
On top of that - I received a special message from a special friend thanking me for being me, was invited to a hen-party (as William calls them) and I had so many lunch plans this week I actually burned through my weekly "allowance". It has been an interesting week.
I sat looking around at my full table, smiles from other tables flashed my way, thinking about the many friends I have. I thought about how different it is now and how full my life has become.
And it is true that the Lord will provide you with all that you need. Because He definitely knew that I needed some friends two years ago when I felt so terribly lonely. He has built into us to be social creatures relying on one another. I do sometimes think it is weird how He does that - but at least not only does God build needs into us for special purposes, but He provides for our needs........every last one of them.
I've never made friends easily and keeping friends has always been difficult. Some of it is me (and my particular harsh personality - something I'm constantly striving to overcome). Some of it isn't. And no matter the cause - knowing that you can be in a crowded room and no one knows/cares whether you are there or not will make even the most confident person feel like a loser.
One day it hit me - and this is a God thing - that instead of feeling sorry for myself I should DO something about it. I didn't really know where to start - so I started with church. I took the time to get to know various women from my church. I attended a Bible study and I organized group outings. I made every attempt to get there early and I injected myself in little circles of conversations and participated. (I still do these things.) And over time I got to know a few of them. I even count several of them as good friends.
I was thinking about this because at a lunch yesterday at the daycare William, Peter and I sat down at an empty table. Historically when I chose a table I ended up sitting alone. This particular day that wasn't the case! Another mom who's son is friends with mine sat down and we chatted...another friend and her son and husband also sat down. I said hello to several OTHER mom-acquaintances too! And yet another mom/son combo had wanted to join our table - but it was full. She joined us after one of the other families left!
On top of that - I received a special message from a special friend thanking me for being me, was invited to a hen-party (as William calls them) and I had so many lunch plans this week I actually burned through my weekly "allowance". It has been an interesting week.
I sat looking around at my full table, smiles from other tables flashed my way, thinking about the many friends I have. I thought about how different it is now and how full my life has become.
And it is true that the Lord will provide you with all that you need. Because He definitely knew that I needed some friends two years ago when I felt so terribly lonely. He has built into us to be social creatures relying on one another. I do sometimes think it is weird how He does that - but at least not only does God build needs into us for special purposes, but He provides for our needs........every last one of them.
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Stupid cold...
There have been times where I was grateful to be sick. For example - earlier in the year I got strep...and it gave me a good "reason" to sleep my day away. (Yeah...sometimes as a mom I do need a reason that is valid to me...otherwise I'm just wasting time!)
Today? Not so much. I first realized I was sick yesterday when I went to get my lunch and I was having a little trouble walking in a straight line. Turns out - I was on the dizzy side. I knew I had felt off, but sitting at my desk I couldn't really put my finger on the problem.
I still have bouts of dizziness, but my main issues is pure exhaustion. I feel drained and I feel like I should sleep...but of course have no time for that. Work deadlines and a household to run...this pesky cold is not going to stop me.
Well...it will stop me from one thing. I can't in good conscience go on a run when I can barely function during the day. And that is my biggest beef with this cold. I was on a roll man!
A little insight into Miriam...I view reasons to NOT do everything as excuses. Really, there are always a million of them and they are always really good. Ok - some of them are better than others. In my personal experience, I've found that doing is better than not doing. There is a great personal satisfaction that goes along with choosing the Lord's path. That is about the only thing that will stop me in my tracks - the Lord telling me "no" or "not now". Running is a great example of that. I've run in super hot weather, rainy weather and I'm sure that shortly I will run in frigidly cold weather...only because the Lord said "GO". This pretty well applies to all areas of my life. And if the Lord had told me to run, despite the cold, I totally would have.
This past week I attended a function at work. I was chatting with a coworker who I didn't know all that well and the conversation turned to kids. She asked me how many kid I had and how old they were. So I told her...3 kids ages 5, 3 and 10 mo! Her eyes crossed and she said "How do you work FULL TIME and take care of 3 kids?"
Careful planning...
Just kidding. I laughed and told her I didn't really have a good answer for that. The truth is that this is what the Lord has called me to do. And whatever the Lord asks, He will also give you a way to do it.
And so I will continue on...doing whatever work the Lord puts before me. And for now - running is not part of that and neither is weighing in. :)
Today? Not so much. I first realized I was sick yesterday when I went to get my lunch and I was having a little trouble walking in a straight line. Turns out - I was on the dizzy side. I knew I had felt off, but sitting at my desk I couldn't really put my finger on the problem.
I still have bouts of dizziness, but my main issues is pure exhaustion. I feel drained and I feel like I should sleep...but of course have no time for that. Work deadlines and a household to run...this pesky cold is not going to stop me.
Well...it will stop me from one thing. I can't in good conscience go on a run when I can barely function during the day. And that is my biggest beef with this cold. I was on a roll man!
A little insight into Miriam...I view reasons to NOT do everything as excuses. Really, there are always a million of them and they are always really good. Ok - some of them are better than others. In my personal experience, I've found that doing is better than not doing. There is a great personal satisfaction that goes along with choosing the Lord's path. That is about the only thing that will stop me in my tracks - the Lord telling me "no" or "not now". Running is a great example of that. I've run in super hot weather, rainy weather and I'm sure that shortly I will run in frigidly cold weather...only because the Lord said "GO". This pretty well applies to all areas of my life. And if the Lord had told me to run, despite the cold, I totally would have.
This past week I attended a function at work. I was chatting with a coworker who I didn't know all that well and the conversation turned to kids. She asked me how many kid I had and how old they were. So I told her...3 kids ages 5, 3 and 10 mo! Her eyes crossed and she said "How do you work FULL TIME and take care of 3 kids?"
Careful planning...
Just kidding. I laughed and told her I didn't really have a good answer for that. The truth is that this is what the Lord has called me to do. And whatever the Lord asks, He will also give you a way to do it.
Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
The LORD is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and his understanding no one can fathom.
He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.
Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;
but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.
~Isaiah 40:28-31 (NIV)
And so I will continue on...doing whatever work the Lord puts before me. And for now - running is not part of that and neither is weighing in. :)
Monday, August 15, 2011
Running for Jesus (sounds hoaky, but it's true!)
My weigh-in days will have to be Tuesdays. Monday has turned into a running morning...and will probably stay that way for awhile. :) So I have no update today.
BUT...I do have something I want to share.
Jesus talked a lot about how He was here to do His Father's business, and he wasn't leaving before it was done. (Refer to Matthew-John.) I've been thinking a lot about this...
In order for us to do all of the work God has planned for us, I would imagine that there isn't much time for running off and doing our own thing. There is no such thing as going "above and beyond" with God.
So Wednesday I woke up to the crackle of thunder and the split splat of rain drops. Flashes of light momentarily lit up my room as I sat up. I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes and proceeded to get up anyway. There have been many times where I've gotten up and the storm has cleared up as I stepped off my front porch for a run. So I went about my morning preparations.
When I got close to finishing up, the rain was going strong. I thought of some good reasons to not go running...including the obvious "It's raining!" reason. The Lord has told me before whether or not to run...and this particular day He very specifically told me to GO. I got ready and thought "He's gonna make the rain stop as I step out again! Hooray!"
I took a step off my front porch...and nope. It continued to rain. I hesitated for a second, but again heard the "GO". I continued to the car and hopped in. As I pulled into the very empty parking lot of the park, I again hesitated. These hesitations were small...if you were watching me you'd never know it. But they were there in my heart. I faithfullly got out of my car and went. It was a light rain. I thought "Ok, He's waiting until I started my jog before easing up on the rain..."
Nope.
It only began raining harder.
I wasn't pelted, but it rained a "medium" rain the entire jog. I sloshed my way through the puddles and wished I had thought to bring a hat. I kept my phone in my pocket (I usually carry it and check my timing regularly) and wiped the rain out of my eyes.
I spent a lot of time trying to decide whether I liked running in the rain. I didn't hate it. It certainly was a huge improvement over some of the 100F + runs I've done. And I think if I had a hat to keep the rain out of my eyes, I'd been perfectly fine.
I completed my run feeling very satisfied that I had done it. I returned to my car and turned the key...and nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. I paused, took a deep breath and tried again. My car started.
Sometimes, I think we don't have to pray a specific prayer. Prayer isn't formal. The Lord had been with me on my run. He was right there with me in my car. My sigh was all the prayer I needed.
My radio made a loud racket (previously off) and I noticed my clock was set to 12:00. Sure signs my battery had died and the Lord had started my car.
In the two minutes I drove home the Lord also showed me a plan for how to get everything done that morning with little impact to our schedules. William was to go get the battery changed. I was to get the kids ready and drop them off at daycare. Yep. William drove my car. And the Lord kept it running. We followed his plan and I was only 30 min late and William arrived at work on time.
Yeah - it rained. And we really needed the rain. Honestly, who wants to go jogging in the rain or change a car battery in the rain? Probably not anyone's first choice. But the Lord was providing for our environment and for us all at once. We got it all done...in the rain. It was a blessed morning.
And because I was faithful, my day was blessed. I was able to get absolutely all the work He set before me to do that day, including finalizing some school details for my daughter. My day would have not worked out so well if I had to get a battery change later in the day...including possibly missing a fun work outing that occurred that afternoon.
The next day I was bound and determined to get another shorter run in. I felt a little tugging in my heart that maybe I shouldn't go on that run. My kids were up. I was running late (to get out of the house for the run). I didn't really S.T.O.P. and ask God what His plan was for my morning. *I* really wanted to go.
So I went and did my thing. My morning was chaotic and my day chaotic. Would it have been less chaotic if I hadn't gone running? Possibly. I don't know for sure what the Lord's plan was because I didn't bother asking. I knew what I wanted to do. I do know that I would have had inner peace had I chosen to ask and follow His will for my day. After all, the day before wasn't exactly "calm", but it certainly was peaceful.
Once the difference in my days dawned on me, I made the determination to ask God what He wanted each and every day. I went running Saturday (my first 4 miler) and it was blessed. I went this morning. It was blessed. I'm a slow learner but I get there.
I almost forgot to ask this morning in my zealousness to get out the door so I wouldn't be running "late". (I get to work about 30 min later on running mornings than non-running mornings...but that is OK. I can fit more running time in overall...so staying 30 min later in the evenings isn't a huge deal...I pick up kids at the same time anyway.) The Lord stopped me in my tracks and requested I sit down with Him and chat. I did. We talked about some prayer requests and showed me where to pray. Then He told me to go run.
And you know what? I had a blessed morning. I was particularly blessed that William woke up and took a shower ON HIS OWN while I was out. That is a miracle people. Peter was already dressed. It was a great morning.
So my message of the day...go about your Heavenly Father's work. Do exactly what He asks...you don't have to do anymore than that. You certainly shouldn't do any less than that. He'll guide you not only in the super large life changing things, but in your day to day management as well. And you'll be blessed for it.
It is one of those lessons where I'm going "Duh Miriam!"...but sometimes it takes a bit to take to heart those simpler lessons. :)
BUT...I do have something I want to share.
Jesus talked a lot about how He was here to do His Father's business, and he wasn't leaving before it was done. (Refer to Matthew-John.) I've been thinking a lot about this...
In order for us to do all of the work God has planned for us, I would imagine that there isn't much time for running off and doing our own thing. There is no such thing as going "above and beyond" with God.
So Wednesday I woke up to the crackle of thunder and the split splat of rain drops. Flashes of light momentarily lit up my room as I sat up. I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes and proceeded to get up anyway. There have been many times where I've gotten up and the storm has cleared up as I stepped off my front porch for a run. So I went about my morning preparations.
When I got close to finishing up, the rain was going strong. I thought of some good reasons to not go running...including the obvious "It's raining!" reason. The Lord has told me before whether or not to run...and this particular day He very specifically told me to GO. I got ready and thought "He's gonna make the rain stop as I step out again! Hooray!"
I took a step off my front porch...and nope. It continued to rain. I hesitated for a second, but again heard the "GO". I continued to the car and hopped in. As I pulled into the very empty parking lot of the park, I again hesitated. These hesitations were small...if you were watching me you'd never know it. But they were there in my heart. I faithfullly got out of my car and went. It was a light rain. I thought "Ok, He's waiting until I started my jog before easing up on the rain..."
Nope.
It only began raining harder.
I wasn't pelted, but it rained a "medium" rain the entire jog. I sloshed my way through the puddles and wished I had thought to bring a hat. I kept my phone in my pocket (I usually carry it and check my timing regularly) and wiped the rain out of my eyes.
I spent a lot of time trying to decide whether I liked running in the rain. I didn't hate it. It certainly was a huge improvement over some of the 100F + runs I've done. And I think if I had a hat to keep the rain out of my eyes, I'd been perfectly fine.
I completed my run feeling very satisfied that I had done it. I returned to my car and turned the key...and nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. I paused, took a deep breath and tried again. My car started.
Sometimes, I think we don't have to pray a specific prayer. Prayer isn't formal. The Lord had been with me on my run. He was right there with me in my car. My sigh was all the prayer I needed.
My radio made a loud racket (previously off) and I noticed my clock was set to 12:00. Sure signs my battery had died and the Lord had started my car.
In the two minutes I drove home the Lord also showed me a plan for how to get everything done that morning with little impact to our schedules. William was to go get the battery changed. I was to get the kids ready and drop them off at daycare. Yep. William drove my car. And the Lord kept it running. We followed his plan and I was only 30 min late and William arrived at work on time.
Yeah - it rained. And we really needed the rain. Honestly, who wants to go jogging in the rain or change a car battery in the rain? Probably not anyone's first choice. But the Lord was providing for our environment and for us all at once. We got it all done...in the rain. It was a blessed morning.
And because I was faithful, my day was blessed. I was able to get absolutely all the work He set before me to do that day, including finalizing some school details for my daughter. My day would have not worked out so well if I had to get a battery change later in the day...including possibly missing a fun work outing that occurred that afternoon.
The next day I was bound and determined to get another shorter run in. I felt a little tugging in my heart that maybe I shouldn't go on that run. My kids were up. I was running late (to get out of the house for the run). I didn't really S.T.O.P. and ask God what His plan was for my morning. *I* really wanted to go.
So I went and did my thing. My morning was chaotic and my day chaotic. Would it have been less chaotic if I hadn't gone running? Possibly. I don't know for sure what the Lord's plan was because I didn't bother asking. I knew what I wanted to do. I do know that I would have had inner peace had I chosen to ask and follow His will for my day. After all, the day before wasn't exactly "calm", but it certainly was peaceful.
Once the difference in my days dawned on me, I made the determination to ask God what He wanted each and every day. I went running Saturday (my first 4 miler) and it was blessed. I went this morning. It was blessed. I'm a slow learner but I get there.
I almost forgot to ask this morning in my zealousness to get out the door so I wouldn't be running "late". (I get to work about 30 min later on running mornings than non-running mornings...but that is OK. I can fit more running time in overall...so staying 30 min later in the evenings isn't a huge deal...I pick up kids at the same time anyway.) The Lord stopped me in my tracks and requested I sit down with Him and chat. I did. We talked about some prayer requests and showed me where to pray. Then He told me to go run.
And you know what? I had a blessed morning. I was particularly blessed that William woke up and took a shower ON HIS OWN while I was out. That is a miracle people. Peter was already dressed. It was a great morning.
So my message of the day...go about your Heavenly Father's work. Do exactly what He asks...you don't have to do anymore than that. You certainly shouldn't do any less than that. He'll guide you not only in the super large life changing things, but in your day to day management as well. And you'll be blessed for it.
It is one of those lessons where I'm going "Duh Miriam!"...but sometimes it takes a bit to take to heart those simpler lessons. :)
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Getting debt free...making progress
I haven't really talked to much about our financial freedom goal. The goal is still there, very much alive and present in our lives. Nearly all of our sentences begin with "When we are debt free" and end with "as soon as we get that paid off". We completed the Financial Peace University, and have been living it daily. And because it is such an every day thing, there hasn't been a whole lot to report. But this week we ran into something interesting. Previously, the Lord had told me how much He was going to help us pay off twice as much debt this year as we did last year.
William likes to crunch them from time to time - it makes him happy. And this past week he was crunching away. He decided to see how much debt we paid so far this year, and with known income and expenses, how much are we projecting to pay by the end of the year. William was startled to find that we are right on target to pay off the amount the Lord promised. :-) I find it exciting we can already see that He is doing it with absolutely no explanation as to how it is being done. We haven't received anything "extra" that would amount to it. This is a complete God thing.
I also thought I'd share how much we have paid off so far in debt since we started seriously down this road. It has been about a year and a half. And in that year and a half we have sold our house, made lots of sacrifices and had a baby. It has been an eventful year and a half!
$31,372 - amount of debut paid off so far.
This is the year of trim for me. I'm trimming my fat and I'm trimming my debt. I'm trimming all of the unhealthy things out of my life. And when all of the trimming is done, it will look like there is nothing left. My life will resemble a rose bush after a pruning. There will be nothing left but the stem that is my core being. And just like a rose bush, after a season I'll sprout leaves and flower buds. I'll flourish and become the beautiful bush that God intended.
I'm looking forward to it. But please - don't everyone sniff me at once!
William likes to crunch them from time to time - it makes him happy. And this past week he was crunching away. He decided to see how much debt we paid so far this year, and with known income and expenses, how much are we projecting to pay by the end of the year. William was startled to find that we are right on target to pay off the amount the Lord promised. :-) I find it exciting we can already see that He is doing it with absolutely no explanation as to how it is being done. We haven't received anything "extra" that would amount to it. This is a complete God thing.
I also thought I'd share how much we have paid off so far in debt since we started seriously down this road. It has been about a year and a half. And in that year and a half we have sold our house, made lots of sacrifices and had a baby. It has been an eventful year and a half!
$31,372 - amount of debut paid off so far.
This is the year of trim for me. I'm trimming my fat and I'm trimming my debt. I'm trimming all of the unhealthy things out of my life. And when all of the trimming is done, it will look like there is nothing left. My life will resemble a rose bush after a pruning. There will be nothing left but the stem that is my core being. And just like a rose bush, after a season I'll sprout leaves and flower buds. I'll flourish and become the beautiful bush that God intended.
I'm looking forward to it. But please - don't everyone sniff me at once!
Friday, April 8, 2011
Promise fulfilled
One of the concerns I had when moving regarded Rebekah's schooling. We were leaving a very good district. It was a top rated school and I mourned this more than anything. I knew we were going to be living in an area with a spotty record. But over time God showed me that if I care about her school, how much more does God care? He has already explained to me He loves her more than I could ever imagine...which amazes me because I love her a lot.
So earlier in the year we attended the Choices Fair. We found a school that was completely different than where we thought we wanted...and ironically it was one that we ended up talking too strictly because Rebekah went over there and started chatting it up with the teachers. I probably would not have elected to talk to them otherwise.
I do not believe in coincidence or luck.
So God chatted with me and although this magnet school was originally supposed to be our Plan B, the more I realized it was our Plan A. We (God and I) talked about it for a few weeks and He showed me why Plan B was a better plan. So I shared this with William and explained to him all the reasons that the Lord and I had been talking about. And so Plan B became Plan A.
I had total and complete peace about it, simply because God and I had been talking about it so much. Today on my way home God and I were again chatting. We were talking about various things. Life stuff. It was a very casual chat. As I pulled into my driveway the Lord told me to check the mail.
Here's the thing - I never check the mail. The last time I checked the mail, I almost lost a bill and William was pretty mad. He has a system. I don't want to mess with the system...so HE gets the mail.
But of course I was obedient. I opened up the mail box and saw a package. I pulled it out and when I saw the label I recalled I had ordered some stuff for Alley's cage. I thought "Oh, sweet!" Then underneath it was an envelope. I pulled it out and saw it was from the school district I knew immediately why God had sent me to the mailbox.
Rebekah was selected for our new Plan A. Of course she was. It is God's plan.
And the irony that the only stuff in the mailbox was for me is also not lost. I never get mail! :-)
So God fulfilled his promise. Again.
So earlier in the year we attended the Choices Fair. We found a school that was completely different than where we thought we wanted...and ironically it was one that we ended up talking too strictly because Rebekah went over there and started chatting it up with the teachers. I probably would not have elected to talk to them otherwise.
I do not believe in coincidence or luck.
So God chatted with me and although this magnet school was originally supposed to be our Plan B, the more I realized it was our Plan A. We (God and I) talked about it for a few weeks and He showed me why Plan B was a better plan. So I shared this with William and explained to him all the reasons that the Lord and I had been talking about. And so Plan B became Plan A.
I had total and complete peace about it, simply because God and I had been talking about it so much. Today on my way home God and I were again chatting. We were talking about various things. Life stuff. It was a very casual chat. As I pulled into my driveway the Lord told me to check the mail.
Here's the thing - I never check the mail. The last time I checked the mail, I almost lost a bill and William was pretty mad. He has a system. I don't want to mess with the system...so HE gets the mail.
But of course I was obedient. I opened up the mail box and saw a package. I pulled it out and when I saw the label I recalled I had ordered some stuff for Alley's cage. I thought "Oh, sweet!" Then underneath it was an envelope. I pulled it out and saw it was from the school district I knew immediately why God had sent me to the mailbox.
Rebekah was selected for our new Plan A. Of course she was. It is God's plan.
And the irony that the only stuff in the mailbox was for me is also not lost. I never get mail! :-)
So God fulfilled his promise. Again.
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Gazelling
We are currently working out way through Financial Peace. NOW - we have been working on becoming debt free for about a year. And we've made huge strides. I felt it was important to take the class because I felt it would help us learn more about how to accomplish our goals. And it has. We've learned a lot.
The lesson before last, Dave Ramsey talked about Proverbs 6:5.
And he talked about how he didn't understand that until he was watching Discovery channel one night. A cheetah was chasing a gazelle...and in order for the gazelle to escape it had to RUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNN with all its might. He also showed a clip of a cheetah chasing (and missing) a gazelle.
This was powerful. To ME this means you do whatever it takes to get there. It means making large, huge sacrifices. It means that when you think you can't give up anything else...and you've given your all...you look for something else.
Because it is life or death.
Extreme? If you want to get out of the pit you have to be. So we are currently looking to see what else we can cut. What else can we sell. What else can we DO? William has started taking his lunches. (I already do mostly.) We are looking at selling some items that we have. Some of them I'm not thrilled with, but understand the importance. (Example: Our deep freeze. I want to keep it. But we've gotten along without it for a year, and thus can get along without it for longer. It was never plugged back up after we moved.) We are looking at selling baby stuff we don't use. Furniture...basically, looking around our house going "what can we get along without?". SELL BABY SELL!
And on THAT note I have a blessing to share. Our transmission went out on the Durango. William drove to the store - it was fine. On his way home - not so much. He couldn't shift out of first/second gear and could no go faster than 20 mph. I'm certain he annoyed many drivers.
Monday I was sicker than a dog, so the car had to wait until Tuesday. We took it to a transmission shop in town. When they called back Wed. they quoted William $2400. William said he choked on the phone and the guy said "But I can do it for $2300..." I guess he felt sorry for William. William gave me the news as I was leaving for work, so I had some time to ponder it. (He stayed home with a sick kid that day.)
I prayed my entire way to work. My first question was - do we fix it or buy new? God very clearly said YES. Fix it. He even broke down the financials for me so it made sense. (Wasn't that nice of Him to explain why?) Then I took a deep breath. I told God that we certainly didn't have the money. That our emergency fund would not cover this. I told Him since He owns the cattle on the hills (Psalms 50:10) and all things belong to Him, could He pretty please helps us out? I reminded Him of our goals and what we were trying to accomplish. I basically told Him we could NOT do this without Him.
I was going a mile a minute. And God listened patiently.
You know how parents do...when a child is pleading for something that the parent has already decided to give the child? They let them explain their case, listening and nodding and mmmm hmmming.
I pulled into the parking lot at work and my phone rang. It was William.
"You will NEVER believe this!"
Turns out...as William was chatting with the transmission shop God was already nudging him. The idea formed in William head to call the dealership where we bought the car...4 years ago. We had purchased a warranty. We were sure it had expired. Sure I tell you! That is why we didn't take it there in the first place.
But obediently to the gentle nudging of the Holy Spirit, William called anyway.
Hey guess what? The warranty was good until July of this year or 131K miles. We happened to have 125K miles on the vehicle and it happened to only be Feb.
So our $2300 problem was reduced to $100. By God. YES by God! We drive so much that we always drive out the warrant well before the time limit expires. That is just the way it is for us. Living out the country and working on the opposite side of town accounted for a lot of it. The driving has slowed down since we moved...but that has only been a year.
The Lord took care of us. And I'm going to share something else. We have a lot of debt. A LOT. I haven't really shared numbers...but the number is large (embarrassingly so!). God shared a number with me as far as what He was going to give us to pay off this year. It is also large. In fact, it will take care of pretty much the rest of the unsecured debt we have (besides a student loan) and it is double the amount we paid off last year. We will have cars, our house and student loan when all is said and done. And THOSE will be paid off the following year. Ummm...except the house.
I'm excited to see how God will do it. I'm excited to receive His blessing for us. I'm excited to see how He will do it.
The lesson before last, Dave Ramsey talked about Proverbs 6:5.
Free yourself, like a gazelle from the hand of the hunter, like a bird from the snare of the fowler.
And he talked about how he didn't understand that until he was watching Discovery channel one night. A cheetah was chasing a gazelle...and in order for the gazelle to escape it had to RUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNN with all its might. He also showed a clip of a cheetah chasing (and missing) a gazelle.
This was powerful. To ME this means you do whatever it takes to get there. It means making large, huge sacrifices. It means that when you think you can't give up anything else...and you've given your all...you look for something else.
Because it is life or death.
Extreme? If you want to get out of the pit you have to be. So we are currently looking to see what else we can cut. What else can we sell. What else can we DO? William has started taking his lunches. (I already do mostly.) We are looking at selling some items that we have. Some of them I'm not thrilled with, but understand the importance. (Example: Our deep freeze. I want to keep it. But we've gotten along without it for a year, and thus can get along without it for longer. It was never plugged back up after we moved.) We are looking at selling baby stuff we don't use. Furniture...basically, looking around our house going "what can we get along without?". SELL BABY SELL!
And on THAT note I have a blessing to share. Our transmission went out on the Durango. William drove to the store - it was fine. On his way home - not so much. He couldn't shift out of first/second gear and could no go faster than 20 mph. I'm certain he annoyed many drivers.
Monday I was sicker than a dog, so the car had to wait until Tuesday. We took it to a transmission shop in town. When they called back Wed. they quoted William $2400. William said he choked on the phone and the guy said "But I can do it for $2300..." I guess he felt sorry for William. William gave me the news as I was leaving for work, so I had some time to ponder it. (He stayed home with a sick kid that day.)
I prayed my entire way to work. My first question was - do we fix it or buy new? God very clearly said YES. Fix it. He even broke down the financials for me so it made sense. (Wasn't that nice of Him to explain why?) Then I took a deep breath. I told God that we certainly didn't have the money. That our emergency fund would not cover this. I told Him since He owns the cattle on the hills (Psalms 50:10) and all things belong to Him, could He pretty please helps us out? I reminded Him of our goals and what we were trying to accomplish. I basically told Him we could NOT do this without Him.
I was going a mile a minute. And God listened patiently.
You know how parents do...when a child is pleading for something that the parent has already decided to give the child? They let them explain their case, listening and nodding and mmmm hmmming.
I pulled into the parking lot at work and my phone rang. It was William.
"You will NEVER believe this!"
Turns out...as William was chatting with the transmission shop God was already nudging him. The idea formed in William head to call the dealership where we bought the car...4 years ago. We had purchased a warranty. We were sure it had expired. Sure I tell you! That is why we didn't take it there in the first place.
But obediently to the gentle nudging of the Holy Spirit, William called anyway.
Hey guess what? The warranty was good until July of this year or 131K miles. We happened to have 125K miles on the vehicle and it happened to only be Feb.
So our $2300 problem was reduced to $100. By God. YES by God! We drive so much that we always drive out the warrant well before the time limit expires. That is just the way it is for us. Living out the country and working on the opposite side of town accounted for a lot of it. The driving has slowed down since we moved...but that has only been a year.
The Lord took care of us. And I'm going to share something else. We have a lot of debt. A LOT. I haven't really shared numbers...but the number is large (embarrassingly so!). God shared a number with me as far as what He was going to give us to pay off this year. It is also large. In fact, it will take care of pretty much the rest of the unsecured debt we have (besides a student loan) and it is double the amount we paid off last year. We will have cars, our house and student loan when all is said and done. And THOSE will be paid off the following year. Ummm...except the house.
I'm excited to see how God will do it. I'm excited to receive His blessing for us. I'm excited to see how He will do it.
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Yet another miracle
Stepping out to say "God told me to tell you this..." is always difficult for me. There are a couple reason for this...the first being that I always wonder if I heard correctly. Last year God had started encouraging me in this area. And He continues to challenge me.
The second reason is simply because in our society, even mentioning that God talks to you gets you a crazy label. I have no idea why just because you talk with God and hear from Him, you are suddenly crazy. Isn't this His design? The label doesn't come from just non-believers, but both sides. I've even found myself thinking the same thing before. It is a mindset that I don't even understand (even in myself).
With all of that said...last June God gave me a message for a very dear friend of mine. She had been struggling to get pregnant. My heart goes out to women who have trouble bearing children. It is something we've struggled in (mildly) before. It is something that is heart wrenching and difficult to share. We didn't really talk about it openly. I just know from small comments here and there that it was a long road. And so I quietly prayed for her. I prayed and prayed and prayed.
At one point, I know that there were at least 5 different pregnant women (including myself) this past year in this person's life. I watched as she smiled and was happy for each and every one of them. I was terrified to tell her about my pregnancy, simply because I didn't want to make things any harder on her. When I finally mustered up the courage - she was so happy for me. Genuinely happy. If there was a jealous bone in her body, she did kept it well hidden and to herself. Honestly, I looked for it and could not see any. If I had been in her situation, I can't say I would have had as much grace and love as she has had.
With all of that said, in June of last year God gave me a word for her. He told me to have faith, it would happen "soon". At first I had told God I wanted to know what "soon" meant. He told me (in so many words) it wasn't important. I was just to give her the message of encouragement. I intended to tell her right away...I chickened out. I chickened out time and time again.
Soon Aug. rolled by and God began telling me He wanted me to give the message before I had Ruth. September came and went and I still hadn't said anything.
I waited until the last week before Ruth was born.
I gave her the message. It wasn't the easiest thing I've ever done. When you talk with friends, it is especially difficult. There is just a little something extra on the line.
It was a beautiful day and we were sitting in a restaurant outside. I can recall the sun on my face and the refreshing feeling of simply being outside. I was relaxed because I only had a couple more days at work (at most). We had finished up our meal and were chatting about stuff. I took a sip of my drink, smiled and blurted the whole thing out. "God wants me to tell you to not give up hope. He says He is going to bless you with a baby very 'soon'. I have no idea what 'soon' means, but I just wanted you to know." She looked a bit startled, and we chatted about baby-related things for a moment. It was a tad uncomfortable for me, because how do you follow up?
The week of Thanksgiving we met for lunch again. She was very determined to have lunch that week. We hadn't sat down with our food for very long when she gave me the good news. She was PREGNANT! I have never been happier for someone else's baby! I was on cloud nine! She was nervous because it was early. I told her she could be nervous...I'd be excited. I was thrilled! She said "Guess you were right!"
Ahhhh - I never get tired of seeing God work. I never get tired of Him using me. I never get tired of this...of seeing miracles. God is beautiful, mighty and wondrous. There is a reason He has these titles. God didn't give them to Himself...we gave them to Him because it accurately describes Him.
I am so happy for my friend. God keeps moving and working and I simply can't wait to see what is next!
The second reason is simply because in our society, even mentioning that God talks to you gets you a crazy label. I have no idea why just because you talk with God and hear from Him, you are suddenly crazy. Isn't this His design? The label doesn't come from just non-believers, but both sides. I've even found myself thinking the same thing before. It is a mindset that I don't even understand (even in myself).
With all of that said...last June God gave me a message for a very dear friend of mine. She had been struggling to get pregnant. My heart goes out to women who have trouble bearing children. It is something we've struggled in (mildly) before. It is something that is heart wrenching and difficult to share. We didn't really talk about it openly. I just know from small comments here and there that it was a long road. And so I quietly prayed for her. I prayed and prayed and prayed.
At one point, I know that there were at least 5 different pregnant women (including myself) this past year in this person's life. I watched as she smiled and was happy for each and every one of them. I was terrified to tell her about my pregnancy, simply because I didn't want to make things any harder on her. When I finally mustered up the courage - she was so happy for me. Genuinely happy. If there was a jealous bone in her body, she did kept it well hidden and to herself. Honestly, I looked for it and could not see any. If I had been in her situation, I can't say I would have had as much grace and love as she has had.
With all of that said, in June of last year God gave me a word for her. He told me to have faith, it would happen "soon". At first I had told God I wanted to know what "soon" meant. He told me (in so many words) it wasn't important. I was just to give her the message of encouragement. I intended to tell her right away...I chickened out. I chickened out time and time again.
Soon Aug. rolled by and God began telling me He wanted me to give the message before I had Ruth. September came and went and I still hadn't said anything.
I waited until the last week before Ruth was born.
I gave her the message. It wasn't the easiest thing I've ever done. When you talk with friends, it is especially difficult. There is just a little something extra on the line.
It was a beautiful day and we were sitting in a restaurant outside. I can recall the sun on my face and the refreshing feeling of simply being outside. I was relaxed because I only had a couple more days at work (at most). We had finished up our meal and were chatting about stuff. I took a sip of my drink, smiled and blurted the whole thing out. "God wants me to tell you to not give up hope. He says He is going to bless you with a baby very 'soon'. I have no idea what 'soon' means, but I just wanted you to know." She looked a bit startled, and we chatted about baby-related things for a moment. It was a tad uncomfortable for me, because how do you follow up?
The week of Thanksgiving we met for lunch again. She was very determined to have lunch that week. We hadn't sat down with our food for very long when she gave me the good news. She was PREGNANT! I have never been happier for someone else's baby! I was on cloud nine! She was nervous because it was early. I told her she could be nervous...I'd be excited. I was thrilled! She said "Guess you were right!"
Ahhhh - I never get tired of seeing God work. I never get tired of Him using me. I never get tired of this...of seeing miracles. God is beautiful, mighty and wondrous. There is a reason He has these titles. God didn't give them to Himself...we gave them to Him because it accurately describes Him.
I am so happy for my friend. God keeps moving and working and I simply can't wait to see what is next!
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Jehovah Jireh: God our provider
One thing I've been contemplating lately is this role of God in my life.
Recently I have found certain areas in my life lacking. I'm not going to go into specifics exactly, because I have also learned in the past couple weeks you never know who is reading... ;-) And I certainly don't want to hurt any feelings. BUT...these things that are lacking are mostly in the manner of what relationships provide.
I love my family. I love my husband's family. I love my church family. I love my friends. AND...between all these groups of people, God has provided me exactly what I need when I need it. It isn't always from the group or person I might wish it was from. But the fact is, it is there. When I need it. No questions asked. I don't even have to search for it. It just is.
And through this all, I have learned that I need stop wishing that my provision looked one way, instead of another. The fact is - I'm provided for. Sorta like the Israelites in the desert. (Oh my - can we learn SO MUCH from that little 40-year trip!) The fact is, God fed them every day. And they sorta got tired of eating it...I'm talking about the manna here. (Really - who can blame them? Would you want to eat the same thing EVERY day??) BUT...God provided for them. It wasn't what they expected or wanted, but it was there. And shoot - when they whined about it He provided for them again (the quail...or birds, whatever it was dumped right on the city...gotta laugh at that! You know God was going "You want quail! I'll GIVE you quail!!!!") and again it wasn't what they expected. Our expectations sometimes get in the way of recognizing the blessings that we have in our lives. But it doesn't look like THIS...you might say. No...no it doesn't. But that doesn't make it any less of a blessing.
And I have been thoroughly blessed by my church family. They have been there for me pretty much since we broke the news that we were expecting. They have provided encouragement and prayer support. When I was doubting Thomas, they lovingly have told me "STRAIGHTEN UP! You know better!" (not in those exact words - but I knew what they meant!). And they have provided guidance, knowledge and wisdom.
You simply can't buy that.
And while this may all seem like a normal thing for a church family to provide, it isn't. I've been to many many churches in my life. Finding this kind of support is very difficult. Finding a place to sit on a bench and keep it warm...well that is simple. William and I spent two years looking for a church. We went to many and had ultimately given up. I firmly believe God was preparing our hearts, and one day when we were ready He opened up the golden door in His shining brilliant way.
Learning to accept these odd provisions that don't come in the way I expect, recognizing God in it, walking His walk (which is WAY tougher to do than SAY!) can make all the difference in the world. This is my 3rd kid. I've bought 3 houses and sold 2. Comparing these life events and the differences between the different stages of my life, I can definitely say that there is more peace present no matter the circumstances. I mentioned it when we bought/sold our last house. I guarantee you if I had been fully diagnosed with GD with Rebekah - I would have been on insulin. If I had treated it properly with Peter, I would have been on insulin. (Peter was born with temporary hypoglycemia, increasing his chances of diabetes...and the fact he will NOT get it will be another miracle we are saving for another day! :-)) But because God has looked at me and said "NO" on this pregnancy, I'm not.
Do not be mistaken. This, folks, is a miracle. A total and complete miracle. And I'm excited to see what else God has in store for my little family. The proof will be here in about 10 days.
Recently I have found certain areas in my life lacking. I'm not going to go into specifics exactly, because I have also learned in the past couple weeks you never know who is reading... ;-) And I certainly don't want to hurt any feelings. BUT...these things that are lacking are mostly in the manner of what relationships provide.
I love my family. I love my husband's family. I love my church family. I love my friends. AND...between all these groups of people, God has provided me exactly what I need when I need it. It isn't always from the group or person I might wish it was from. But the fact is, it is there. When I need it. No questions asked. I don't even have to search for it. It just is.
And through this all, I have learned that I need stop wishing that my provision looked one way, instead of another. The fact is - I'm provided for. Sorta like the Israelites in the desert. (Oh my - can we learn SO MUCH from that little 40-year trip!) The fact is, God fed them every day. And they sorta got tired of eating it...I'm talking about the manna here. (Really - who can blame them? Would you want to eat the same thing EVERY day??) BUT...God provided for them. It wasn't what they expected or wanted, but it was there. And shoot - when they whined about it He provided for them again (the quail...or birds, whatever it was dumped right on the city...gotta laugh at that! You know God was going "You want quail! I'll GIVE you quail!!!!") and again it wasn't what they expected. Our expectations sometimes get in the way of recognizing the blessings that we have in our lives. But it doesn't look like THIS...you might say. No...no it doesn't. But that doesn't make it any less of a blessing.
And I have been thoroughly blessed by my church family. They have been there for me pretty much since we broke the news that we were expecting. They have provided encouragement and prayer support. When I was doubting Thomas, they lovingly have told me "STRAIGHTEN UP! You know better!" (not in those exact words - but I knew what they meant!). And they have provided guidance, knowledge and wisdom.
You simply can't buy that.
And while this may all seem like a normal thing for a church family to provide, it isn't. I've been to many many churches in my life. Finding this kind of support is very difficult. Finding a place to sit on a bench and keep it warm...well that is simple. William and I spent two years looking for a church. We went to many and had ultimately given up. I firmly believe God was preparing our hearts, and one day when we were ready He opened up the golden door in His shining brilliant way.
Learning to accept these odd provisions that don't come in the way I expect, recognizing God in it, walking His walk (which is WAY tougher to do than SAY!) can make all the difference in the world. This is my 3rd kid. I've bought 3 houses and sold 2. Comparing these life events and the differences between the different stages of my life, I can definitely say that there is more peace present no matter the circumstances. I mentioned it when we bought/sold our last house. I guarantee you if I had been fully diagnosed with GD with Rebekah - I would have been on insulin. If I had treated it properly with Peter, I would have been on insulin. (Peter was born with temporary hypoglycemia, increasing his chances of diabetes...and the fact he will NOT get it will be another miracle we are saving for another day! :-)) But because God has looked at me and said "NO" on this pregnancy, I'm not.
Do not be mistaken. This, folks, is a miracle. A total and complete miracle. And I'm excited to see what else God has in store for my little family. The proof will be here in about 10 days.
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