One thing I've been contemplating lately is this role of God in my life.
Recently I have found certain areas in my life lacking. I'm not going to go into specifics exactly, because I have also learned in the past couple weeks you never know who is reading... ;-) And I certainly don't want to hurt any feelings. BUT...these things that are lacking are mostly in the manner of what relationships provide.
I love my family. I love my husband's family. I love my church family. I love my friends. AND...between all these groups of people, God has provided me exactly what I need when I need it. It isn't always from the group or person I might wish it was from. But the fact is, it is there. When I need it. No questions asked. I don't even have to search for it. It just is.
And through this all, I have learned that I need stop wishing that my provision looked one way, instead of another. The fact is - I'm provided for. Sorta like the Israelites in the desert. (Oh my - can we learn SO MUCH from that little 40-year trip!) The fact is, God fed them every day. And they sorta got tired of eating it...I'm talking about the manna here. (Really - who can blame them? Would you want to eat the same thing EVERY day??) BUT...God provided for them. It wasn't what they expected or wanted, but it was there. And shoot - when they whined about it He provided for them again (the quail...or birds, whatever it was dumped right on the city...gotta laugh at that! You know God was going "You want quail! I'll GIVE you quail!!!!") and again it wasn't what they expected. Our expectations sometimes get in the way of recognizing the blessings that we have in our lives. But it doesn't look like THIS...you might say. No...no it doesn't. But that doesn't make it any less of a blessing.
And I have been thoroughly blessed by my church family. They have been there for me pretty much since we broke the news that we were expecting. They have provided encouragement and prayer support. When I was doubting Thomas, they lovingly have told me "STRAIGHTEN UP! You know better!" (not in those exact words - but I knew what they meant!). And they have provided guidance, knowledge and wisdom.
You simply can't buy that.
And while this may all seem like a normal thing for a church family to provide, it isn't. I've been to many many churches in my life. Finding this kind of support is very difficult. Finding a place to sit on a bench and keep it warm...well that is simple. William and I spent two years looking for a church. We went to many and had ultimately given up. I firmly believe God was preparing our hearts, and one day when we were ready He opened up the golden door in His shining brilliant way.
Learning to accept these odd provisions that don't come in the way I expect, recognizing God in it, walking His walk (which is WAY tougher to do than SAY!) can make all the difference in the world. This is my 3rd kid. I've bought 3 houses and sold 2. Comparing these life events and the differences between the different stages of my life, I can definitely say that there is more peace present no matter the circumstances. I mentioned it when we bought/sold our last house. I guarantee you if I had been fully diagnosed with GD with Rebekah - I would have been on insulin. If I had treated it properly with Peter, I would have been on insulin. (Peter was born with temporary hypoglycemia, increasing his chances of diabetes...and the fact he will NOT get it will be another miracle we are saving for another day! :-)) But because God has looked at me and said "NO" on this pregnancy, I'm not.
Do not be mistaken. This, folks, is a miracle. A total and complete miracle. And I'm excited to see what else God has in store for my little family. The proof will be here in about 10 days.