Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Worrying for nothing

I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.  - Matthew 17:20 (NIV)

The mustard seed is about 1 mm in size.  It grows to be a larger plant, even tree like.  In my quick 10 minute search I couldn't find what size it grows too - but growing up I was always told it was a smaller seed that grew into a larger plant.  The proportions were very drastic.

This is what some people call a "life verse"...a verse that just sort of follows you around and regularly encourages you.  This is one I've starred at for as long as I can remember.  It is one I pull out to remind myself that if we hang ourselves out there, God doesn't let us down.

Lately, my personal faith has been stretched.  As you recall, God made me a promise.  And He even reminded me of that promise.  And here we are a month later...and I again was freaked out.

If you said "Miriam, everything will be alright."  I would have replied "Well of COURSE it will be!" and then gone on to count all the ways I should worry.  One of my worries were some low numbers I was seeing.  I was also concerned she'd want to start following my OB's schedule (as she had mentioned before).  He is beginning to see me weekly, starting next week.  I don't want to go see her so often - no offense.  But it didn't seem like a good use of my time to go see her so often for her to tell me "You're a model patient".  Oye.  Especially when their office is so unorganized.

I mentioned this to my friend on Sunday, and of course she has been praying for well as a few others. 

This morning I got up and prayed over the appointment.  I was still pretty nervous. 

When I got into my car, songs played that only reminded me of how big God is and how small I am.  I hear many of them regularly, but can't tell you the names or even singers.  :-P  (I'm terrible in music!)  I walked into the appointment and went through all the spiels.  I had a trace of keytones (not supposed to be there) and even my blood pressure was slightly high.  All I'm sure, to make me nervous.

The 'doc' (physicians assistant or something, not sure of her exact title...) chatted with me about absolutely nothing for the first few minutes.  She didn't have the chart.  That of course was ALL I cared about!  I mentioned the low numbers, she said since I wasn't on insulin...and they weren't that low (dangerous low), she wasn't worried.  I started to discuss my few large numbers...and after we talked about the first large number (I had eaten mexican), she told me to order fajitas and changed subjects. 

She told me "We never see numbers this low this late in pregnancies." 

We then discussed when my next appointment should be.  She asked me how often the OB was seeing me and I told her 2 weeks.  (Truthful - right now it is 2 wks!)  Then she suggested she see me in a month because my numbers looked so good.

I didn't even have to argue.

Here's the thing...God is a big God.  I feel like the Israelites, wandering around constantly questioning God.  I have enough examples in my life I really should know better.  But I think faith is more about walking the walk versus feeling it.  Like so many other things, faith is an action.  It is something you DO, whether you feel like it or not.  And I walked in there with confidence knowing in my heart that things would be fine...even though my head was filled with other possibilities.

God has made a promise.  God doesn't back down on His promises.  And He certainly has the power to do it.  He has promised me I will go through this pregnancy without having to take insulin.  And I'm certain He is going to follow through with hit.  A promise is a promise.


Janette said...

FANTASTIC news...but truly not a huge surprise!! You've done so great and have been such an encouragement to me in not only your walk with God and your faith during this whole ordeal...but with your eating habits and how you have handled all of this too. I don't have the GD to contend with, but I have been eating better, walking, working out, etc -- which isn't easy to do whether pg with GD, pg w/o GD, or not pg at all!! GOOD job and CONGRATS for yet another awesome praise!!

Miriam said...

You are SO sweet! :-) You have been a constant reminder for me that I need to pick up my exercise routine as soon as it is feasible. Might be awhile (time will be tight while I'm pumping), but at least I won't forget! ;-) THANK YOU for all your support. I need a bumper sticker that says "My church family rocks my face off!" :-P

Janette said...

LOL on the bumper sticker idea. Hmm -- we should really have those made along w/ the church logo haha! I will admit that these last few days I have struggled...struggled HARD...I want to eat everything sweet in site haha! I've really been praying through this...and telling God I haven't worked this hard to just revert back now or throw it all at the window. I would allow myself to have a little something...but at the same time, I know that how much I'm craving it now..a little may lead to a lot...and I certainly don't/wouldn't want that. UGGH!!! Eating better sure does STINK at times hahahhaa!!! :)